AIBU to consider another baby at 40?

[blueberrywaffles]

I know people often say they have made a point to have babies when they were young. I wanted the same but it didn’t happen for me. I had my first at 38 and thought that would be enough. Now that he is older I wish he had a sibling.

What would you do in my position, if you had your first baby later in life? There are no guarantees that I could have another or that they would get along.

I know someone who just had their 3rd at 41 and they did have several miscarriages in trying for her. It’s more likely so that may be part of the journey to a successful pregnancy. Other than that since you and your OH are the same age go for it.

have another baby.
or 2 or 3.
I know lots of people who had theirs in their early 40's.

best of luck!!

I had a baby at 23 and it was awful. I was exhaustedly, relentlessly tired. PND, stressed with money and childcare and generally did not enjoy it at all. Fast forward 20 years and I have a gorgeous 5 month old. I feel full of energy and not at all stressed. I wish I'd had this much confidence in myself when I was in my 20s. I told my 20 year old to wait til she is 40 to have a baby 😂

The only thing I would say is make sure you do it because you and your DP want a second, not to give your DC1 a sibling.

I'm not sure where this idea of 40 as a cut off came from. I do know the risks go up. But my family history is full of babies born to mums in their 40s, it seemed to be really normal. They just weren't often firstborns.

I had mine at 35, 38 and 40. I won’t lie, the last pregnancy was by far the hardest on my body. So much more tired than the other two. Was classed as a geriatric mother so was consultant led for that. I say if you want another, go for it!

YANBU my mum had me at 42 and she always wanted me to have a sibling

Having a baby at 40-43 isn't unusual at all these days. I know several mums who had their second child at that age!

I know someone who had her second baby on the day of her 40th birthday. What a gift!

Had my first in September, I’ll be 40 before the end of the year and trying for number 2!

I wanted a baby at 40. I felt fit, well and full of energy. My youngest was then 2 so she'd have had a sibling. At 45, I feel about 60 years older. Everything is literally ten times as hard and I don't know how I'd have coped. No one told me how hard everything would hit me at around 43, so I'm gently telling you!!

To be honest I would have hated to have a baby at 40. Not so much as I felt then but to still be responsible for teens in my mid 50s.
Dh was pushing for one for a while when we were that age.
Now I'm 56 I am so glad I haven't got a 16 year old. I know you have a little one now but the thought of 2 at age fills me with horror.
I'm glad I'm having long weekends away with Dh or my adult children rather than stressing over exams, colleges and uni when I'm nearly 60!

If you were 40 with older dc I would say don’t do it as it is tiring and going back to nappies, sleep deprivation etc and loss of lifestyle. With you already having a 2 year old I say do it! 40 won’t be much different to 38 and you will get the early years out the way the two of them being closer in age; you might as well! I think you’ll regret it if you don’t try so maybe let nature decide!

Some would hate it

Others love it

I wouldn’t listen to much to those who don’t chime with your feelings, it really is your decision

Do it. I had DD last year at 39 and am TTC again now at 40.

My cut off would be 45. However the most important thing is that you are able financially and in a loving and supportive relationship with your other half. If you are, then go for it.

OK here goes.... I had my first child at 42 and decided that I was too old and unlikely to conceive after that. I now feel very guilty that my child has no one of their own age in my family - cousins are adults, aunts/uncles are retired, only grandparent is 86. They do happen to have lots of friends who are also only children. I was a very young and healthy 42 year old. At 53 I now feel absolutely ancient and have health issues which I did not expect to have. So it's difficult to call - I feel guilty re only child, but I'm glad I have only one, now that I am not such a youthful 53. Dad is even older than me.

Go for it! I had my 4th at 41..first 3 at 33, 36 & 38. If anything it was easier at 41 than my first 2..