Could I, and should I, make up with my family before we all pass away?

[Nothingyet]

A few very minor changes. This is as important question for me.
Briefly as I can:
I am one of two boys, now in their 60s.
Father, poor, working class, bitter, religious, resentful, lacked confidence, physically violent when we were primary age, but very good looking (he had two brothers who went to university, he himself did not pass any exams and worked as a labourer), passed away 5 years ago.
Mother, in her 90s, always loyal to him but desperate to keep the peace and keep the family together.
I was (although I didn't realise it a the time) quite blessed- I inherited my father's looks, I was clever (never failed any exam) and was humorous and witty. My older brother was not blessed, in looks or academically.
Mocking, spite, bullying by both of them while growing up, especially in my teen years meant I had very, very low self esteem by the time I left home. I knew I was clever and good looking, but I dismissed that (I was just born like it, I didn't earn it).
I took to drink and drugs to feel better as I either gave up or failed everything- I dropped out of university, dropped out of life more or less,
had long periods of living on the streets.
Now I have at the end of my life I have sort of picked myself up. Quit drink and drugs and even alcohol. At a rehabilitation centre I met a lovely person, I have started doing on-line studying, (more for pleasure than remuneration, of course), we have a lovely home now (her husband left her well off) and a pleasant life.
Now my brother and mother have started to pester me to re-make contact (to be fair to them, they have never known me sober before, and I have always been bitter, angry and in trouble with the law or threatening suicide, lol!).
They have always blamed me for my depression, drinking and drugs, in their usual sarcastic, dismissive and superior way.
Am I right to wrong to not want contact with my family ever again? TBH, I would rather go to my grave in a relaxed way, than enter their maelstrom of emotion and stress, though of course this is a 'forever' situation- none of us will be around a lot longer. I would be grateful for any views. Thanks!
AIBU- renew contact Yes
Let them go- No

Knowing you are good looking or academic means nothing if all it causes in your life is grief and stress . . Only revisit your past op if it brings you something… closure or peace . You don’t owe them anything

Well it sounds like none of them really did you any favours before. It’s totally your choice whether to give it a go or not now. YANBU if you decide not to. If there’s going to be contact now it should only be if it will benefit both parties in some way. If you ever do meet with them be careful that the relationship is mutually beneficial and healthy. End contact again immediately if any of the old unhealthy dynamics re-emerge.

From the information you've given, I honestly don't think that there is anything to be gained by any of you, by getting involved again. No matter how hard you try in these situations, someone is bound to talk about something that the other finds uncomfortable, and before you know it, things start spiralling out of control again. You have done well to get to where you are, but is it worth risking all of the work you've had to do, on the off chance that it will work out? You say 'TBH, I would rather go to my grave in a relaxed way, than enter their maelstrom of emotion and stress', I think that is your answer OP.

Thank you all for responding. I have read all and appreciate it. This is the worst of my life: arrested drunk several times, but even then being treated nicely by the police as they realised I was a nice person. Like realising I wasn't actually physically or verbally abusive, I just was a nuisance.
And the best - watching the chain of satellites over the night sky in Devon, walking the Spaniel and the collie over the heath, and having access to the whole world via the internet!

@Nothingyet

Thank you all for responding. I have read all and appreciate it. This is the worst of my life: arrested drunk several times, but even then being treated nicely by the police as they realised I was a nice person. Like realising I wasn't actually physically or verbally abusive, I just was a nuisance. And the best - watching the chain of satellites over the night sky in Devon, walking the Spaniel and the collie over the heath, and having access to the whole world via the internet!

Cherish the things that mean most to you 🌸

Would you regret it if your Mum passed away and you never got to say goodbye?

The question is : would I regret it if one of them passed away before we got back in touch again?

If the answer to that is no, then you know to not let yourself get bullied into reconnecting with them.

Seriously? Your online course - is it creative writing?

Would you consider going to see your Mum once or twice so she can see you are happy and well? Not to be too morbid but she may only have time to see you once or twice at her age....

Your brother, if he has to be there to see your Mum I'd do it once. My husband has toxic parents and it clouds his life for days after he has even spoken to them on the phone. I'd avoid restarting things with your brother

What is happening?

@Nothingyet

Thank you all for responding. I have read all and appreciate it. This is the worst of my life: arrested drunk several times, but even then being treated nicely by the police as they realised I was a nice person. Like realising I wasn't actually physically or verbally abusive, I just was a nuisance. And the best - watching the chain of satellites over the night sky in Devon, walking the Spaniel and the collie over the heath, and having access to the whole world via the internet!

Curiously , there are some inconsistencies in your other threads which are a bit puzzling. I know you said at the start of this thread that you had changed some 'facts' for anonymity reasons but it's hard to know how much.

@Catflapkitkat

Seriously? Your online course - is it creative writing?

This

Are you drunk?