To think I’m too fat to ever meet someone new

[RockstarMartini]

I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been bar pregnancy and I feel disgusting. I’m really lonely but think any man would be revolted by me. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be with me again and it makes me so sad. I’m trying to lose weight but it’s hard when you feel so rubbish about yourself 🙁

Can you focus on health so join a gym, walking group etc. Even join a borrow my dog scheme and dog walk. You’ll feel better, you’ll lose weight and meet real life people.
Focus on healthy food and things that make you feel good. It will soon become habit and spur you on. Best wishes. I lost 5 stone in 8 months size 18/20 to a 10/12. I did SlimmingWorld which gets slated on here but worked for me and again weekly group good way to meet new people.

Is there a Divorced and Separated Club locally? I used to go to one many years ago, and it was good fun. Coffee evenings, Saturday night discos, days out... It's a start...

Lots of fat people have partners. Yabu.

It is hard op. Last time I was dating I was 30, size 16, and had little interest. I did eventually meet my dh through OLD but I was not beating them off with a stick before that! I had to widen my search area and age range. Unlike my slim friends who had constant interest and dates. Obviously I was lucky to have met my dh but it is definitely harder to meet someone if you're overweight unless you're also very pretty (I'm not).

I am now a size 22 and 45 and if I was single again, can't imagine getting much interest. Men do care about appearances and weight is offputting.

No easy answers, sorry.

I won't date as I feel too fat. Mostly I seem to attract the men who want to sleep with me but won't be seen with me I'm a size 16/18 and 5ft 10, add red hair to that and I'm invisible

Go on dating sites and it's "looking for attractive 20-30yo blonde female, must be fit, no more than 5ft 5, size 10 or below, own house/good career etc"
Then you view their profile and it's a 50yo bloke that looks like he belongs on crime watch

You sound lovely. I really hope you find someone and feel more positive with yourself

Please please don’t pin all your hopes on everything being sorted if you lose weight, I have friends who are bigger than you (and they are STUNNING) who have partners or one night stands with men who fancy them like crazy! No matter what size you are men will talk to you, then disappear because they are most likely talking to loads of people at once at that stage, before I met my husband this happened to me and every woman I know. I’m 28 and a size 6 and am I confident? Absolutely not I am in the best shape I have ever been and believe me I am so unconfident and my self esteem is the worst it’s ever been, your weight does not define you and won’t make you happy! Once your at your target weight you will just want to be smaller again or more toned or you will start focusing on something else you hate like your hair or your nose or your face isn’t the shape you want! There are men out there who feel exactly the way that you do too. Please stop defining your life by your weight or looks because you will look back when you are 80 years old and think why did I waste my life hating myself and not just putting myself out there or accepting who I am because it really does not matter what the scales say, it’s super cringe but you do only life once and this is who you are! Xx

I could have written this. I've been size 8 before and am now a size 18-20. It is like being invisible especially when you add getting older to it.

Saying that, when I was slimmer men only wanted to shag me anyway, no one wanted to marry me.

I'm losing weight at the moment (slowly) but I resent the fact that if I get a sudden influx of men being interested then I'll know it's because of my weight rather than because of me.

It's horrible and you have my sympathy

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!! Someone will thinking you're the best things since sliced bread (which happens to be the main reason I'm overweight 😂)

I feel your pain, but I don't necessarily think it's to do with weight. I'm tall, slim, try to take care of my appearance but don't have anyone showing any interest in me either. I know that probably doesn't help you feel better, but you're not on your own to feel like this. I have no idea what the trick is to meet someone when you're a middle-aged single parent. I feel invisible.

After I had my three kids in 2 years I did a diet called lipotrim. I lost just over five stone in just under 3 months. It changed my life!
It's not for the faint hearted but it works.

OP please don’t speak about yourself like this.
Would you ever talk to someone else like that?
X

Mantra daily "I am beautiful I am strong I am enough'.
Those who love you love you as you are,your friends love you for who you are.
The only thing stopping you find your happy relationship is yourself.
It's the negative thinking which is attracting negativity into your life.the rules of the universe.
Doesn't matter what size or shape you are ,if you appear sexy ,confident and walk in a room like you own it...You will!walk in a room feeling fat and unattractive,that's how you will appear.
Love yourself.You will find that the rest will follow.🌈

While there clearly are many fat people who are confident and attractive I don't think everyone can be that person. It's about liking yourself and if you don't like your fat self it's impossible to fake it. (I have never been able to, when fat).

I can't recall if you said how old you are but I also think there's a natural shortage of single people in their 30s/ 40s. It's a time when lots of people have settled down and are raising a family and quite a few of those who haven't have a reason for that. (Either they don't want it or they're not very good at relationships).

I think in your place I would try and build up my friendship group to become less reliant on meeting a romantic partner. And also work on anything that helps you to like yourself, but only because you deserve to like yourself and not because you want a man.

It's also much easier to meet and connect with someone if you're not desperate.