To report to NSPCC?

[Fearnecuptea]

Hi all,

I'm posting on AIBU as hopefully will get responses. Please only sensible replies as I genuinely don't know what to do. NO trolls thank you. I am hoping that there might be a social worker or similar who can offer advice.

Without giving too many personal details away, I live in a block of flats opposite some social housing houses. As its hot (finally) for the last two days specifically we've had the windows all open. So have the neighbours.

I have a toddler just to preface this- I KNOW what toddler tantrums/ exasperation from adults sounds like. I don't know if I should give neighbour benefit of the doubt but my gut is saying I need to do something, as in report.

Why am I hesitating to call SS or NSPCC? because I'm worried being wrong or it not taken seriously and the kids getting punished for it. I do not want to make this worse.

They have 2 x kids- one looks around 3 (same age as mine) the other around 6. They are CONSTANTLY, constantly being screamed at. Told to go to their rooms. Chased around the house it sounds like. When I say screamed at, it is the ONLY way the parent seems to talk to them and it is literally roaring at them. It is constant. I hear the younger child cry and it is so upsetting.

Its friday afternoon. Should I wait until Monday to call? what if I make it worse/ I'm wrong? ffs it is so rubbish tbh with you. I work from home and am hearing it and its really disturbing me.

Are there any social workers or similar who can offer help? should I be recording/ writing down? I literally don't know. My only concern is those kids and making things better for them.

Unless there is any other evidence of abuse, SS won't do anything.

You can report it. How would it make it worse?

I'm thinking for the kids. What if they're screamed at even more? what if my report makes the parent even angrier? THAT is the concern.

So without evidence as in actual recording, SS won't do a thing? jesus christ.

Call social services, they may have other reports from elsewhere or they may be able to link things together. All information is stored and may be useful.

Report it. Maybe they'll uncover more. Maybe they'll support parents with better tactics. Maybe it will shock parents and they'll change naturally. Maybe nothing will happen. But your conscience will be better for reporting it

Definitely report it. And if it continues report it again.
It all helps build a picture and schools can be involved.

I had a friend who experienced this with a neighbour constantly screaming at her kids. She reported to SS and the children were removed. You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Trust your gut.

Its Thursday afternoon !

It’s Thursday OP so definitely report it today.

Would it be an option to knock on the door asking if they want to arrange a play date as you have similar aged DC? So you can get further information?

@Fearnecuptea

I'm thinking for the kids. What if they're screamed at even more? what if my report makes the parent even angrier? THAT is the concern.

So without evidence as in actual recording, SS won't do a thing? jesus christ.

SS will not 'do anything' because some people are shouty, some people have a vocabulary peppered with profanities, it often means they don't have a full and comprehensive vocabulary, it doesn't necessarily mean they are abusive.

If you feel the need to report, then report it. You won't find out what action is taken. There is no feedback. At best they may be offered a parenting course, or other assistance because there is a catastrophe happening in their lives and they need support to manage finances or an illness.

SS will not remove children on one phonecall, it takes years of interventions and court orders. Urban myth that they come in like baby snatchers. It will however build a picture. I hope they get the support they need

@SlugsAreBastards

It’s Thursday OP so definitely report it today.

Would it be an option to knock on the door asking if they want to arrange a play date as you have similar aged DC? So you can get further information?

Interrogate the children? really?

Good god.

@Fearnecuptea

I'm thinking for the kids. What if they're screamed at even more? what if my report makes the parent even angrier? THAT is the concern.

So without evidence as in actual recording, SS won't do a thing? jesus christ.

So if they get screamed at even more after SS intervention, it's proof the parent either doesn't care, or they're unable to cope.

Which would make your judgement correct.

I've just realised I've said its Friday afternoon. Oh dear.

I'm on the NSPCC website now. I know I need to do something as it sounds horrendous over there. The parent is just seconds from pure rage constantly, its awful tbh.

Would it be an option to knock on the door asking if they want to arrange a play date as you have similar aged DC? So you can get further information?

Good God. Do not do this.

Thanks for everyone's reponses.

@WorraLiberty

Would it be an option to knock on the door asking if they want to arrange a play date as you have similar aged DC? So you can get further information?

Good God. Do not do this.

No not a chance.

The answer to “should I report it” is always yes. You have a suspicion that children are at risk. Morally you need to act on that.

Forget NSPCC they're just a middle man. Call SS. They'll put in a call to the parent and see what's happening. They most likely won't do anything as it could just be a parenting style that whilst isn't what you or I might feel suitable, isn't always abuse.

But if there have been other reports or issues at school, doctors etc it helps to build a picture

Don't give tour details though. They say it's confidential but I've made a report before and they told the parent it was me and it made my life hell

Report it. As others have said, whilst your one call based on this would not be enough for them to remove the children or do anything extreme, your report could form part of a bigger picture that gets them the support they need.

Call Social Services, but if you have immediate fears for the children’s safety call the police. They can send someone quickly to check.

Please report it. You do not know what else is going on there as well.

If you can hear it, record it. Record it for an hour and record it over a few days. I know it’s awful but then SS and NSPCC are much more likely to take serious action when they have concrete evidence of just how awful it is.

@OlympicProcrastinator

If you can hear it, record it. Record it for an hour and record it over a few days. I know it’s awful but then SS and NSPCC are much more likely to take serious action when they have concrete evidence of just how awful it is.

Don’t delay reporting to gather evidence. That’s against all safeguarding training.

In most authorities 'social services' is a hub number where calls are triaged and directed to different services. For example this could be straight to child protection social workers to do an assessment, or to an early help family support service for families who are struggling.
It means that you don't have to judge whether something meets the threshold of what you think social services might be, that work will be done at the other end. If you're hearing enough to be concerned as a neighbour, then it can't be a pleasant experience for the child who is living it 24/7.
Even if you don't see any evidence of something happening doesn't mean that nothing is done. Obviously removal of children is (rightly) at the very extreme end, and very few referrals get anywhere close to that.

Definitely report it.