To report to NSPCC?

[Fearnecuptea]

Hi all,

I'm posting on AIBU as hopefully will get responses. Please only sensible replies as I genuinely don't know what to do. NO trolls thank you. I am hoping that there might be a social worker or similar who can offer advice.

Without giving too many personal details away, I live in a block of flats opposite some social housing houses. As its hot (finally) for the last two days specifically we've had the windows all open. So have the neighbours.

I have a toddler just to preface this- I KNOW what toddler tantrums/ exasperation from adults sounds like. I don't know if I should give neighbour benefit of the doubt but my gut is saying I need to do something, as in report.

Why am I hesitating to call SS or NSPCC? because I'm worried being wrong or it not taken seriously and the kids getting punished for it. I do not want to make this worse.

They have 2 x kids- one looks around 3 (same age as mine) the other around 6. They are CONSTANTLY, constantly being screamed at. Told to go to their rooms. Chased around the house it sounds like. When I say screamed at, it is the ONLY way the parent seems to talk to them and it is literally roaring at them. It is constant. I hear the younger child cry and it is so upsetting.

Its friday afternoon. Should I wait until Monday to call? what if I make it worse/ I'm wrong? ffs it is so rubbish tbh with you. I work from home and am hearing it and its really disturbing me.

Are there any social workers or similar who can offer help? should I be recording/ writing down? I literally don't know. My only concern is those kids and making things better for them.

Definitely report. If you have a gut feeling that all is not well then I would. What's the worst that can happen? They'll be investigated then find nothing untoward. Or, you will be doing those poor children a massive favour.

I agree to report it to SS. Anonymously might be difficult as I worked in SS (adults) and any safeguarding issues the details of the person reporting were taken (including mine if I was submitting a report of suspected abuse internally). That was over 5 years ago though since I last worked in SS, so things might have changed re: anonymous reporting. I’m sorry to say they don’t always act on concerns we have (an older lady I was very concerned about was not removed from her situation much to my dismay, even with new bruises ‘appearing’) but reporting it is the right thing to do and like a previous poster said you can always ring the police if it sounds like they are in danger. I’m so sorry OP it is a very upsetting/ distressing thing to witness. Let us know how you get on x

Do you know school bigger one goes to from uniform? You could contact school and ask to speak to safeguarding person there. School obviously will know if any other concerns and can refer on if appropriate.

@Goodbyecustardtart

Call Social Services, but if you have immediate fears for the children’s safety call the police. They can send someone quickly to check.

Then the police will have to let SS know too

I'm a safeguarding lead in a school. You'll be lucky to get anyone at a school during half term. Please report it yourself. If you called me, I would thank you for the information, but I would also have to tell you to call SS yourself as we cannot report 'hearsay', and it may be that we didn't have concerns previously about the children. Even if we did, we would still encourage you to make the call. Call them now and make the report.

I would report it. SS may have other reports or school concern

I’m glad you are going to report this. It was quite upsetting to read your post that the younger one is crying and both are being screamed at. My children are similar ages and whilst it can be tiresome at times, there’s never any reason to actually scream at them.

Report it now to SS ...if it gets any worse call the police.

Another vote to report
But to local child services
I’d also prep a list with dates , details etc

Nice social housing dig there OP. No need to mention that at all.

Agree with reporting directly to children's services. Don't wait to gather evidence. Lots of parents acknowledge that they are struggling when we call, and can then direct to appropriate services or recommend further involvement from Children's services if needed

If you're concerned always call social services. If you remain concerned call again. It's not your place to conduct a thorough investigation. You should just let them know exactly why you're concerned and they can investigate if they think it's necessary.

Report. It'll be part of a jigsaw puzzle, with neighbours/school etc possibly filling in the missing pieces. If nobody reports then it's harder for SS to see the full picture.
Sorry, what a corny as fuck analogy, but you know what I mean.
Poor kids, imagine internalising this treatment as your norm.

Report to the police - from personal experience they take reports like this very seriously.

Report it.

Hi all, I called NSPCC and (somewhat heartbreakingly imo) they've been so busy in the last 24 hours, someone will have to call me back within certain timeframes tomorrow.

I've been told to call the police if I suspect there's the threat of physical violence tonight or before my call back.

Thanks everyone for your advice, just to add.

@ShitOnIt00

I’m glad you are going to report this. It was quite upsetting to read your post that the younger one is crying and both are being screamed at. My children are similar ages and whilst it can be tiresome at times, there’s never any reason to actually scream at them.

Hey, yes it's been really upsetting today. I actually got abit emotional on the call as I know how terrified my own child would be. It's really rubbish tbh.

Please report to whoever you can op. If you feel the children are in danger call the police.

Having young children myself, I find this very distressing.

This is going to play on my mind now. Poor children.

Honestly report to the police if you are concerned tonight. They will intervene.

I’m glad there are people like you. You’re doing the right thing to report. Your report could be one of many and could be the final piece of the puzzle to getting the children the help they need.

You've done the right thing OP.

Although I am puzzled by your reference to their accommodation (social housing) and how this is relevant?

I'd report it. Children are damaged for life by bad parents.

Yes, report to ss. I say that as someone who was reported by a neighbour for my child screaming in my back garden (he's autistic). I was cutting his hair).

Receiving a letter from SS was awful but I'd still rather do that than worry that a child was being abused but nobody bothered.

That said, I'm not sure why you made the social housing reference op.

Unnecessary.

In response to the social housing observation- no dig at anyone reading. My thinking was that to actually be eligible for SH in my area you have to fall into narrow criteria. One eligibility criteria includes the vulnerable families. I'm really not here for the politics of that, I literally didn't write the eligibility criteria the government did.
Please don't find offence where there is none implied.

Thanks for everyone's advice.