To give up on smears if the hospital can't find my cervix?

[Smolgoose]

With my most recent smear, I've had two different nurses attempt it to no avail. Apparently my cervix is a very long way back, and when they've managed to see it, the pain from them jamming the speculum in is too much to bear for long enough to get a sample. However much I try to relax, I seem to tense up as well, which doesn't help matters.

I've been referred to the "difficult smears" clinic at the hospital. I rang up to ask what happens if the same thing happens again, thinking maybe they can offer mild sedation, but apparently they don't, and the next step if this fails is to have a general anaesthetic!

Does anyone have any secret tips for getting my difficult cervix to Co operate?
Having to be put under for it sounds like a complete pain!

Were they using the small speculum?

I have the same problem, I am now instructed to ask for the small speculum - it's much more comfortable (still not pleasant) when they are digging around for Where's Wally the Bloody Cervix.

I have this, my old gp was brilliant but the practice nurses always gave up and made rebook for the gp. Just moved and have an appointment, I don't hold out much hope

hospital might have a gyno bed with leg rests which might be a bit better to find a position.

I do my smears in gyno bed with leg rests. My GP couldn’t do it. They managed with the proper bed. Also I had some diazepam left over from a previous injury so I took one beforehand. Could you see about whether they would give you one? Good luck.

If I tilt my pelvis by putting my fists under my bottom the nurse finds it easier to find mine. A cushion or something would probably work just as well.

Also, I was told when a doctor couldn't find mine, to rebook at a different point in my cycle - so if the unsuccessful attempt was a few days after your period, rebook for a few days before your period.

I have always had mine at the local sexual health clinic rather than GPs, they are very efficient as they do them all the time along with coils in/out, they have a bed with leg rests as pp suggested. Might be worth a go?
Be warned they will want to do a full STI check whenever you set foot in the door, I reckon they clap test the postman daily

As they are only testing smear samples that have a positive HPV test I would just do the HPV part and see if the smear is even needed.

You could perhaps ask for the menopause speculum. Us older women get a different one because of changes and it’s easier to insert I think.

@Dulcinae

If I tilt my pelvis by putting my fists under my bottom the nurse finds it easier to find mine. A cushion or something would probably work just as well.

Also, I was told when a doctor couldn't find mine, to rebook at a different point in my cycle - so if the unsuccessful attempt was a few days after your period, rebook for a few days before your period.

This works for me too, still takes an unsettling amount of rummaging though!

From someone who used to do the "difficult" smears:

The hospital should have a proper bed for optimum positioning and also staff who are very experienced in finding the cervix. They should be able to put you at ease as much as possible prior to the procedure and reassure you that if you want them to stop at any point, they will.

Tips to make it easier: if you make fists and put them under the base of your back it will tilt your pelvis forward. Sometimes if you wriggle your toes and concentrate on the feeling of them touching each other, it helps your pelvic muscles to relax.

Good luck. You're definitely not the only person that struggles with this and are not alone.

I've tried the tilting with fists under bum, I ended up doing some kind of odd yoga position I was titling so much!

Hopefully being in a proper gynae bed will help, this is giving me hope!

@BeastOfBODMAS

I have always had mine at the local sexual health clinic rather than GPs, they are very efficient as they do them all the time along with coils in/out, they have a bed with leg rests as pp suggested. Might be worth a go? Be warned they will want to do a full STI check whenever you set foot in the door, I reckon they clap test the postman daily

OK, you got me - that made me actually laugh.

Poor postie.

You might have a retroverted uterus which means your cervix will not be in the “usual” place that it is for majority of women with an anteverted uterus. If you do, it’s best to let them know at the smear test so they know where to look.

This threads existence is why I think the do it yourself at home smear kits are a very bad idea. If a trained health professional who can look up your vagina can’t find a cervix, then how in the world do they expect women to blindly find their own cervix and get cell samples from just the cervix (an not the vagina)?

Be warned they will want to do a full STI check whenever you set foot in the door, I reckon they clap test the postman daily
This has made me really chuckle

@BeastOfBODMAS

Plan, the home tests don't require you to get sample from the cervix though? As far as I've seen, they are simple vaginal hpv swabs.

I get my GP to prescribe Valium before I go in. Makes your muscles and brain super relaxed and cervix found pain free! Mine is awkward too...

I've had this. 5 different people tried last time at GP's and it was awful - I'm usually not bothered by such messing but I did feel a bit traumatised afterwards.
Gynae clinic, up in stirrups, done in a flash

Awful isn't it?

I had to have diazepam to relax and they still couldn't find mine!

2018 I was told I was too long for the small speculum and too narrow for the next size up. It hurt a lot.

This year's (at my new surgery) was just awful. I got told to just relax, and that I want trying hard enough to relax, absolutely f'ing agony it was. Then I got a lecture about squeezing down and warned that if I did she'd release it and it'd clamp my insides. Eventually she told me it was done but that it'd probably be a bad sample & need redoing.

It didn't, she sure as hell isn't going to get another chance in 3 years if I have any say in it.

Made me think of lie of lie down and think of England...

I work in sexual health and in between testing the postal service for chlamydia, we do get women referred where GP/ practice nurse haven’t managed it, like others have said lithotomy beds are better, but also I’m blot sure of your age but if you’re nearing menopause oestrogen cream for a good few weeks before the smear can help, helps with comfort and can sometimes get cervix to be easily visualised

Have you tried going at a different time in your cycle? I am not great at these appointments and once had a really bad one and a throwaway comment by the nurse made me realise it was ovulation-related. I googled it afterwards. "Every day's a school day", I thought! I booked the next one at a better time and it was far more comfortable.

*not

I always get this and I lay there with fists under my arse thinking “it’s not a bloody aircraft hanger!” Valium can be useful in these situations.