Bedtime for 9 year old

[Hi246]

Hello! I've been a reader for ages but never a poster...
My 9 year old (10 in august) goes to bed 2030-2100. Sleeps till 0700- 0730 ish naturally.
My 6 year old (7 in august) is in bed earlier 2000 to 2030 and regularly sleeps 11 to 12 hours.
She is often exhausted at the end of the day but think this is just her - can't expect more than a 12 hour stint at night.

Both have showers and are read to, time spent with each. Son never seems that tired.
I get stick all the time from my other half, and whilst staying with my parents this half term, them as well. 2030 to 2100 far too late for a 9 nearly 10 year old 🙄 he honestly doesn't really sleep earlier and I think they just all crave an adult evening, when he is too old to go to bed super early now.

Beginning to think I'm way off the mark though as they all seem to think it. Are his sleep times normal? Am I honestly letting him be sleep deprived do you think? Happy to accept constructive criticism

My 8 year old goes to bed 7.30-8. Asleep by about 9. Guess it depends on the individual child?

My 10 (nearly 11) year old has gone to bed before 9pm less than 10 times in her life. As a baby she slept midnight till noon. She has to be in bed by 9:30pm on a school night, and is usually asleep by 10:15/30pm. Not surprising as she is the daughter/granddaughter of several owls.

Not that I see it as anyone else’s business.

School nights both my 9 & 7 year olds go to bed between 7.30 and 8 and are asleep by half 8/9. Holidays and weekends we let them stay up until 10 sometimes later.

Nearly 9yo dd goes to bed 8 and is usually asleep by 8:30 on a school night but half term we’ve allowed some deviation from it depending on what we are doing that day or the next. I think your bedtimes are pretty normal as long as he isn’t suffering the next day (which it doesn’t sound like he is)

Sounds similar to my 2 - same sort of ages and bed times as you.

Weekdays my 9 and 10 yr olds are in bed by 830. We sit together in a bed and read aloud together from about 8pm until then.

Weekends probably 9, 915ish.

My 9 year old goes to bed sometime around 10, generally asleep by midnight.

10-11 hours is well within the range of normal for your DS.

Thank you! I feel reassured.
My other half swears he was in bed 0700 to 0730 at 9 years old, I'm sure I was about 2030 but had an older sister and we went at the same time.
I've always loved doing individual stories with them especially when I've been at work.
My sister has an 8 and 3 year old, we've spent the last few days with them and my mum and dad, 3 year old still running about at 9pm and they say nothing to her 😏 just feel for the most part I've been a good mum and tried to make decisions based on their needs.
I think my other half misses an adult evening but I'm not going to treat them like I want them out the way 😩

My almost 9 year old is in bed at 7;15 and reads til we settle her down 7:45/8. She then probably drops off by 8:30. She's awake by 6 everyday though. Keep to the same in holidays.

Nearly 7 year old is settled down 7/7:15 and is asleep immediately. Also awake about 6 (if not earlier).

I'm happy with having an evening to myself and they read in the morning. We up by 7am most days anyway. Both always tired by bedtime.

My 8 year old is awake in bed reading now at 9.40. She'll wake up naturally anytime between 6 and 6.45. She needs to be up just before 7. Some of her friends are not able to attend clubs such as brownies as the 7.30 pm finish is too late. The individual needs at this age vary massively. Sounds right for your DC

Is your OH their dad?

Our 10 year old goes to bed at 8:30 on school nights and 9:30 at the weekend. I'd rather it was 9pm weekends but I pick my battles with my DP!

My 9 year old usually goes to bed between 8.30-9pm too. I think it's perfectly normal. Although, the little heatwave we're having has been wearing him out and he's been happily going to bed around 7.30 some nights.

Yes and he is loving dad whi is very involved with them, bedtime has always been my arena though.

It does sound a bit like where children go to bed a bit earlier, they're up earlier.
I'm awful in the morning and other half more of a morning person, maybe this is why we differ.
6am I am like a zombie

Absolutely. I’m not getting up before 7:30am if it’s not for a flight.

I’d say 8.30pm bedtime at 9 is fine, 9pm verging on a bit late on a school night, I think your 6yo has quite a late bedtime though and mine is in bed by 7.30 latest on school nights.

I let my kids sit up late on school holidays. Both of them have only just gone to bed! They are 6 and 8. They do go to bed earlier on school nights.

We send them upstairs about 8pm on a school night and let them have a bit of chill out time in their room. Going against all MN advice, they do have a TV in their room and we will let them watch some TV, read or play quietly in their room. Then it's 'lights out' at 9pm. 6YO usually nods off between 8.30 and 9pm. With the 8YO it can be anything between 9pm and 10pm before he's actually asleep. Both tend to wake up naturally about 8am. It works for us.

At 10YO, I was allowed to stay up until 9pm. I still remember a girl in my class in the last year of primary school who never watched Top of the Pops because her mum sent her to bed at 7pm. She was definitely in the minority!

Yes I try and veer earlier but particularly when I've been at work or they have swimming/gymnastics after school find it hard to fit everything in. Little one dies benefit from 0730 bedtime sometimes and whenever she goes to bed is asleep immediately. Older one never seems tired, tells me his friends all go much later, in not sure thus thus true!

It does sound a bit like where children go to bed a bit earlier, they're up earlier

Sleep needs are a range, but obviously the earlier you go, the more likely you are to get up early too. Waking naturally and early enough for whatever you need to do is the key thing, the main risk with this is if you cannot wake naturally at the time you want because of noise etc. where you are, then you may need to try to sleep earlier.

Oh gosh. Mine go to bed about 10.30-11 on a school night and past 12 on the weekend.

My youngest is ten and his school day starts at 7:30am (abroad) so obviously he can't sleep until 7:30am He needs to be up by 6:30am if going to school next day, and prefers me to call him at 6am to have plenty of time (which is no trouble as his secondary school siblings have to be up by 6am to catch a 6:30 bus).

Working back from that his bedtime is 7:30pm on a school night. As I read to him his light doesn't go off til 8:30pm and he's very rarely asleep before 9 which is barely enough sleep, but he doesn't seem to be able to sleep any earlier. Since babyhood he's been a night owl, which is tricky because both his fairly close in age older siblings are early birds and we live in an early start type country with an earlier school day than the UK.

Regardless of natural circadian rhythm its hard to have a bedtime much before 7:30pm if the family are to eat together in the evening and not go to bed immediately after the meal!

My almost nine ye old never sleeps before 9. I tell him I expect him to go to bed but not to sleep. As adults, we do need time alone too.

Absolutely normal. My 10 year old is still up and normally drops off around 11pm on school holds, 10.30pm on school nights. Never seems to need more than about 9 hrs of sleep per night.

It sounds just fine for your 9-year-old. Children are different.