Why do my neighbours insist on sitting in their front garden?

[vnk21]

I am sure this makes me unreasonable but the incessant noise is giving me the rage.

I WFH, in an upstairs room at the front of the house. Today it's about 26 degrees here so I have the windows open. And all I can here is next door.

There's currently an entire family of them outside (mum, dad, and various kids). The parents have garden chairs out in the front garden and the kids are kicking a ball around - all of them are making a load of noise. Plus every time anyone walks past they have to engage them in conversation.

The houses in this street have small front gardens, Theirs is paved, and the size of 1 large car. Their back garden is at least twice the size. Why would you not sit out there?!

I'm not expecting silence, but the incessant shouting/screaming is so bloody irritating - especially when one of them goes indoors and they carry out a yelled conversation from the house to outside! First thing this morning it was lovely, birdsong and (because it is a relatively busy road) cars going past. But their noise is far more irritating than cars going past.

There's no solution other than closing the windows (and sweating in the heat) is there? Or hoping for rain.

I appreciate it's only a week and the schools will be back next week (so at least I should get some quiet 9-3), but I'm concerned they're going to be like this for the whole 6 weeks holiday which will drive me mad!

@fashionablefennel

I do think sitting on your doorstep or in your front garden is being social. You are encouraging interaction, whether it's just a nod, a look or a conversation, you are putting yourself out there. In the back garden you are more hidden from the world.

I grew up in Scandinavia where nobody has blinds or curtains drawn unless it's your bedroom and you are sleeping. We all enjoy our front and back gardens and are very relaxed about what people can see in our houses. When you come to someone's home for the first time you pretty much always get a tour of the house, and that includes bedrooms, bathrooms, even utility rooms. After that it's mi casa, su casa.

we're not "council" and we all sit out in our front gardens often. Our children play together and we enjoy talking to each other. How common..

Surely it's incredibly arse about face to claim it's antisocial to have bbqs and have water-fights and play in your own garden. They're being very sociable with each other

Pretty anti-social to expect silence and not to see your neighbours.

What are front gardens actually for if you're not allowed to be in them?

@Silhillian

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

People who actually like interacting with their neighbours rather than locking themselves away?

Odds on most of the school hols the weather will be at best fair to middling. Heatwave will be over soon op!

My first house was on a street like this. Just the one family on the whole street that insisted on sitting in their front yard (on an old sofa) and they were so loud all day and night. It seemed to be a bit performative, almost aggressive. They seemed very comfortable in their own skin, whereas I would consider the kind of things I wore or did in public.

Ooh I haven't seen one of these threads for a good long while!

We sit in the front. There's only me and husband so no kid noise but we do it because we get more sun on the front. It's also fun sitting out the front on a Friday night, drinking wine and interacting with people walking their dogs! We do rent the house so obviously we are pretty much the same as "council". No fridge freezer though. I'll see if I can pick one up and put it out front so people can easily identify what 'type' we are.

It is not long ago that a disabled person had to suffer in a society that ignored them. It is time to think about noise sufferers as well

Oh wow. Just wow. You are comparing people being irritated by noisy neighbours, to living with a disability?? Really????

This thread is bonkers.

Years ago we had neighbors like this, they had a huge back garden which housed two aggressive dogs. Hence the sitting out front meeting every cider can guzzling flashing dirty bra boobs at passing cars stereotype they could find. They would have given the Gallaghers a run for their money.

@Wearywithteens

YANBU - they’re inconsiderate arseholes. It doesn’t matter which garden they’re using or what they’re actually doing - the loudness and screaming is what dicks do because they don’t give a shit about anyone except themselves.

And as for council house comment, I’ve sat on enough foreign beaches where the British middle classes with cut glass accents happily bray just as loudly to little Henrietta and Sebastian to put me off my holiday reading when every fucking syllable is loudly enunciated a million times - so it’s not just the tacky chavs who think the world revolves around them.

Agreed.

I’m in a terrace and it’s just normal to think “will this piss off the neighbours”. Likewise my neighbours tell their kids not to yell and they have loud parties but not every night and don’t stay out too late.

Likewise at breakfast in a charming pub/hotel we were subjected to the loudest family group of braying parents and noisy kids yelling over each other. Not cool.

At least you’re not busy OP or you wouldn’t be able to keep up a running commentary of their day.
If you’re that bored, get a new job.

What are front gardens actually for if you're not allowed to be in them?

Increasingly parking and bins - or stones or occasionally low maintance plants and stones/slabs and setting the house back from the road.

I do think it's a bit sad but I'd rather people parked in their front gardens than blocked the pavement making it hard for even pedestrians to get past let alone pushchairs and wheel chairs but this estate was built before cars were as ubiquitous so I get it's not a universal problem.

Though my parents 70s estate has huge drives and people still park on the road and convert the lawn/garden to more parking or gravel.

@Penistoe

Years ago we had neighbors like this, they had a huge back garden which housed two aggressive dogs. Hence the sitting out front meeting every cider can guzzling flashing dirty bra boobs at passing cars stereotype they could find. They would have given the Gallaghers a run for their money.

Did you live on the chatsworth estate??

@LucilleTheVampireBat

Ooh I haven't seen one of these threads for a good long while!

We sit in the front. There's only me and husband so no kid noise but we do it because we get more sun on the front. It's also fun sitting out the front on a Friday night, drinking wine and interacting with people walking their dogs! We do rent the house so obviously we are pretty much the same as "council". No fridge freezer though. I'll see if I can pick one up and put it out front so people can easily identify what 'type' we are.

I wish more people did this. We did a few times it during the first lockdown and it made us feel less isloated.

(I don't mean the fridge freezer part!).

My DB lives in a house which has a bigger front garden than back so the trampoline is at the front and they often use it. It’s not a council house! I think you are being a bit unreasonable op I’m afraid.

I wouldn't use the term "council" but I do agree it's "common"

The other evening DP persuaded me to sit in the one remaining patch of sun in the garden that happened to be at the front, the back being totally shaded at that time.

We put chairs out & had a swift drink - it was awful - I felt so conspicuous!

If I had a nice big hedge it'd be better but all the gardens are open at the front round here

I grew up in Scandinavia where nobody has blinds or curtains drawn unless it's your bedroom and you are sleeping. We all enjoy our front and back gardens and are very relaxed about what people can see in our houses. When you come to someone's home for the first time you pretty much always get a tour of the house, and that includes bedrooms, bathrooms, even utility rooms. After that it's mi casa, su casa.

Omg, no. It's stressful enough having to tidy downstairs before visitors come. Added to which, any clutter from downstairs gets shoved temporarily into the bedrooms!

There is no room in any of the rear facing bedrooms for our office kit setup, ditto the downstairs. If I was just working from a laptop then moving rooms would of course be easier as a temporary solution. Returning to the office isn't an option for me, our office building has closed for good and we're all now permanently WFH.

It's quietened down outside (lunchtime possibly?) so I've opened the windows to enjoy the breeze for a bit.

I'll be honest if I viewed a house where a whole family was sat outside next door on a paved drive the size of a postage stamp, I'd give the area a miss, and I'd have been the same long before I lived here. When we bought this house one of the things we loved was how relatively quiet the road was in terms of 'people' noise. That was because almost all the neighbours were older/retired most of whom have now downsized/ gone into homes/died. You can't predict who you'll end up living next door to in future, but it's the reason why my next house isn't going to be quite so close to neighbours hopefully.

I feel your pain OP

I have a super noisy neighbour too. He likes playing with his son outside the front of the house so that he can show off to all the neighbours about what a great father he is. He even built their snowman in the tiny front garden rather than the massive back garden just to ensure everyone got to watch.

It's tiresome but there's not much you can do about it I'm afraid.

Just be grateful we live in the UK and it will probably be raining next week

Because it's their garden and they can sit and enjoy it if they want to. Another poster that thinks the world revolves around her and everyone has to be silent so she can WFH

I’ve worked permanent nights for many years now and learnt to adapt with windows closed, blackout blinds and a fan in the summer. If there’s extra noise like a kid’s party, bbq, building works or gardening going on then I get Alexa to play waves crashing or a storm.

I can’t do my job without sleep but it would be unreasonable of me to expect neighbours to be quiet on a nice sunny day. I think the same can be applied to working from home. People at home in day time hours are generally awake and not working, especially in the school holidays so I don’t think we can expect to have quiet.

The problem here is that you are now wfh.
They probably did that before but whilst you were at work, you were none of the wiser.

Reality is. Those kids are outisde playing under supervision. I’d say it’s a pretty good thing.
You just can’t expect them to be quite in the evening and in the morning at the weekend and then also during the day during the school hols all because you are working and it happens that the room you are working from is on the same side.
(You would be grumbling just as much if they were in their back garden and the room you are working in was on that side too)

The answer here is either to move the room you are working from to another place (assuming they will always be at the front). Or use headphones/close the window during the few days where it will be warm enough to have the window open (about what 10 days in the year, most of which is likely to be during school term anyway)

What are front gardens actually for if you're not allowed to be in them?

why does everything has to be FOR something?
They just look nice and give you some distance from the street, isn't' that enough? A bit of private land at the front makes your life easier, it doesn't mean it was ever designed for people to plonk themselves on it and check whatever the neighbours are doing, or worst being antisocial and ill mannered.

What are grass verge for and trees for? Not to park in (or around them), they just make for a nicer neighbourhood?

Who the hell enjoy having neighbours keeping watch on everything they do because they are too bored to stay inside or in their own back garden?

It's not unreasonable to want to have fun in the garden when it's finally sunny after such a miserable spring. It's also not unreasonable to find constant loud noise and shouts wearing. Not everyone's house is set up to easily move to work elsewhere either, so it's not always as simple as saying "work in the back instead". Unfortunately it's one of those situations where you can only control your space. Can you use noise-cancelling headphones while you work, OP?