To wonder if I'm justified in how I feel?

[44PumpLane]

DH is getting annoyed at me and my constant need to have things that are 'mine' versus 'his'.

I read on here a lot about how when you're married you just share everything so I imagine I will be told I'm being petty but i'm going to explain anyway.

DH loses things, all the time. Even if it's not forever, it's annoying. He moves things, he takes my things and it drives me mad so I am getting increasingly protective over stuff.

Example: currently on a UK break staying with ILs, my toothpaste is living in bathroom or my toiletries bag, tonight I can't find it anywhere even though I've now done a thorough search. MIL gives me some alternate toothpaste so not a big problem. Ask DH when he comes home and he remembers he took my toothpaste, he fishes it out from the bottom of a cupboard, somewhere I would never find it, and it's my bloody toothpaste (I use sensitive)!

Example: DH wants to use my phone charger so I've said it's fine but he MUST give it back straight away once he's finished using it, he grumbles that I'm ridiculous. But I'm only like this as I've now had to buy a second set of 3 charging cables as he keeps taking them and leaving them at work, or in his car, or losing them.

The freezer cool bag thing I bought that I use for kids picnic lunches wasn't available to bring on our UK break as he took it to work at some point some time ago and it's never been seen again.

The dogs fancy food bowl that I bought her was taken by him to work one day for her to use.... Never been seen again.

4 or 5 dustpan and brush sets have been taken by him to work, out of the house, never to be seen again.

I went to get my corded hoover out a month ago and it wasn't there, he'd taken it to work and took weeks to bring it back home even though I asked daily.

He's so unreliable, takes things without asking, loses things, puts things back where they shouldn't be and honestly I'm just sick of it! The above items are the tiniest tip of the iceburg, I could list hundreds of these little things.

So AIBU to be so possessive of my things?

YABU: you're married and this is petty AF, get over it!

YANBU: This would drive me nuts too and I get why you're being precious over your stuff.

Diaclaimer: first world problems I know, but honestly it's really irritating me so I'm venting.

@Lettuceforlunch I think it’s a bit much to call it ‘stealing’ or ‘hiding’ as that implies it’s premeditated and deliberately done to annoy or spite the OP.

Chances are he is just as bad with his own stuff and is just very absent minded. I totally relate to this (and have been wondering myself if I might have ADD because I struggle with a lot of things around organisation). But whether it has a diagnosis or not, some people are just like this and it’s in no way malicious, even if it is really annoying.

@4fingerKitKat - I guess we don’t know. It smacks of the strategic incompetence thread that was on here a while ago though. Just because it isn’t done maliciously, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have the same effect. I suppose that’s what I’m getting at.

I'm not a fan of armchair diagnosis over the internet but a lot of what you've said about his behaviour does sound like he might have ADHD/ADD.