To think no-one would be offended by this?

[HappilyHadesBound]

I'm getting married in April next year, in the middle of the Easter holidays. Between that and the fact that lots of people have had to rearrange holidays etc so school holidays will be even busier for bookings next year as well as a lot of people needing to travel, I want to get the invites out soon.

My worry is that everything I've read keeps saying 6-12 weeks in advance, but even if I weren't worried about it being the school holidays, I have to confirm final numbers 8 weeks before, and guests can only get the accommodation discounted up to 8 weeks before as well.

I really want to get them made and sent out now (which will be 8-9 months before the wedding by the time they arrive. I know there's the option of save the dates, but I'm not keen on them, I've heard others say the same, and they're an additional cost.

Would you be offended to receive an invitation that far in advance?

It cost me about £5 to send out my save the dates for 100 guests, hardly a big cost. Better than invites at this stage.

Why would a 'save the date' need to cost anything more than some phone calls, texts, emails or whatever? Just contact people, tell them the date and that nothing is set in stone yet, just in case of you know what. Cheap as chips.

Ours is next January. We sent out invites exactly a year before the wedding as although ours is in the UK, a lot of guests will. We'd to stay overnight and travel. I read the 'advice' about sending them out 6-8 weeks before, we both agreed that that was just too little time. We'll nudge people if we haven't heard from them closer to the time but it never occurred to us that people would feel offended or a grieved by us being organised.

@CrazylazyJane

Ours is next January. We sent out invites exactly a year before the wedding as although ours is in the UK, a lot of guests will. We'd to stay overnight and travel. I read the 'advice' about sending them out 6-8 weeks before, we both agreed that that was just too little time. We'll nudge people if we haven't heard from them closer to the time but it never occurred to us that people would feel offended or a grieved by us being organised.

Did you have any trouble with rsvp's?

@BeeDavis

It cost me about £5 to send out my save the dates for 100 guests, hardly a big cost. Better than invites at this stage.

Even with just second class stamps, it would cost £15 for 50 to be sent

@MustardRose

Why would a 'save the date' need to cost anything more than some phone calls, texts, emails or whatever? Just contact people, tell them the date and that nothing is set in stone yet, just in case of you know what. Cheap as chips.

I'd far rather do things more formally than by message

I prefer a save the date. I reckon you need to do it nearer the time.

Yes but email is better, cheaper goes straight in the diary. If you want formal then pay postage and special cards. Seems unnecessary to me. Whilst a little save the date magnet or card is always lovely I would think a full invitation pack a bit much 8 months in advance. Unless your invitation is really traditional and without the usual stuff you get in invitations now (food allergy request, gift request, directions, song request(!)). Are you really going to ask people to do all that now and not be expecting people to lose the invite in the intervening time?

Another here who has already booked holiday for those 2 weeks school holidays. Basically a move from this Easter.

If you booked the middle weekend of a 2 week school holiday (so no one with kids gets a full week away) I'm guessing it is a no children wedding?

I wouldn't be offended by an invitation that early. I would not be able to go anyway (only one free move of dates allowed with my holiday company) ... or if no trip already booked, might have to grit my teeth due to the timing.

If you’re counting on these invites now being the full deal then you’re setting yourself up for a clusterfuck. Some people will forget the date, people won’t bother booking now and then try to do it last minute, the people who have written no food issues will be vegan, the cousin who is bringing her BF will have dumped him, the lad who is temporarily in wheelchair with broken leg will have forgotten to say.

An early save the date with a venue and rough timings is perfect, but you need something more detailed closer to the time. Unless you are doing a very causal, buffet, accessible, numbers don’t matter kind of do.

I wouldn’t be offended by the early invite unless it came with a cash request or ridiculous gift list.
I would worry it was going to be a long ten months of wedding talk if being sent out so early. Not sure why you can’t send a WhatsApp or email with the date on and invites closer to the time.

I'm not sure why you're asking OP - you seem to have decided what you want to do anyway. You seem to have a very fixed idea of wedding etiquette. It doesn't matter if "save the date" is informal or "done cheaply". No one will care. What's important is that you make sure the people important to you have enough notice to be able to come (if they choose to, of course). It's way too early now for invitations for a next Easter wedding. Only your very closest friends and family will start making plans to come/booking accommodation etc. - and presumably they know your wedding date anyway?

@UserAtRandom

I'm not sure why you're asking OP - you seem to have decided what you want to do anyway. You seem to have a very fixed idea of wedding etiquette. It doesn't matter if "save the date" is informal or "done cheaply". No one will care. What's important is that you make sure the people important to you have enough notice to be able to come (if they choose to, of course). It's way too early now for invitations for a next Easter wedding. Only your very closest friends and family will start making plans to come/booking accommodation etc. - and presumably they know your wedding date anyway?

Actually, barely anyone knows that we're getting married! Because we've seen so few people since the engagement.

This is literally the whole point of save the dates OP. You’re massively overthinking this. Send the invites now if you want but expect lots of people to contact you closer to the time for info as they will have lost the invite/forgotten the link to the website.

@Babynamechange1bn

This is literally the whole point of save the dates OP. You’re massively overthinking this. Send the invites now if you want but expect lots of people to contact you closer to the time for info as they will have lost the invite/forgotten the link to the website.

I genuinely don't mind that at all!

Go for it then, there are no set rules.

I sent invitations in March to our October wedding. I had no idea that was considered early. I couldn't be arsed doing separate save the date cards so as soon as we had it booked and we'd had time to get things printed I cracked on with it.

I would do save the dates to your core invitees. The ones who will definitely make the cut. For the rest wait until nearer the time. Maybe a casual mention that you are hoping to get married in x country in April so they can either save up ( or so those liable to flake can have an excuse not to go ready - so they can get out of the expense without offending).

My cousin is also getting married then and I got her invite a month ago for the same reason. It also gives her time to invite other people if her closest can’t make it due to holidays etc

I’d be grateful if I got an invite that far In advance. I’ve already booked most of my holidays for next year.

I only got married two years ago but I sent save the dates 6-12 months in advance, I cant remember exactly when.

We were married at the start of Feb and needed final numbers and meal choices 6 weeks before which was a few days before Christmas. We sent out invites mid September with an RSVP date of the end of November.

I’m still waiting on RSVP’s from a few guests

We had day guests only, rooms could be reserved and there were buses on for people not wanting to stay. If it were me i’d probably send out a save the date with venue and date and then the date when bookings open up for rooms now/when they need paid by, then send formal invites nearer the time with all the transport/menu choices etc etc

If you're not requiring people to reply yet, it ends up being a save-the-date/invitation in one, which is fine, but you might well need to send a reminder to people to reply nearer the time.

With such a long lead time, there may well be people who aren't happy to reply yet - for instance, they could reply now and then discover they have a baby due that week, or they may be aware that they will have a baby by then but not be willing to tell you yet. But plenty will be glad to get the date in the diary, especially if it's in the holidays. If there's travel involved, they might book an Easter holiday in that area.

The reality is that guests need notice to book annual leave if taking a day off work to travel.

I’ve worked some places where leave needs to be booked months and months in advance. A year if it’s school holidays and offered on a first come first served basis.

Can you not send an e-invite/save the date now? It would allow you to give links to all the info, etc., and follow up with hard copy invites in a few months. You might need to get a few hard copies done for older people/people not as au fait with electronic methods.

I think with the amount of moved weddings and rearranged holidays it makes absolute sense to send out invitations now.

If nothing else the people that absolutely cannot make it will let you know.