To think no-one would be offended by this?

[HappilyHadesBound]

I'm getting married in April next year, in the middle of the Easter holidays. Between that and the fact that lots of people have had to rearrange holidays etc so school holidays will be even busier for bookings next year as well as a lot of people needing to travel, I want to get the invites out soon.

My worry is that everything I've read keeps saying 6-12 weeks in advance, but even if I weren't worried about it being the school holidays, I have to confirm final numbers 8 weeks before, and guests can only get the accommodation discounted up to 8 weeks before as well.

I really want to get them made and sent out now (which will be 8-9 months before the wedding by the time they arrive. I know there's the option of save the dates, but I'm not keen on them, I've heard others say the same, and they're an additional cost.

Would you be offended to receive an invitation that far in advance?

@lottiegarbanzo

I'd like date and location now, full invitation about 3-4 months before.

I've already booked to go away next Easter, so you might be too late for some people, already. CV is really messing around with advance bookings. A lot of people have booked far ahead in an effort to have a reliable holiday to look forward to.

That's my worry, some people will have already booked over Easter.

No not at all. I think it's great. When you get a save the date you're waiting on the invite anyway so you know what the plans are for the day.
Means everyone has the details when, where, food, transport.

Save the date cards are designed specifically for this issue. I'm sure you could pick up some relatively cheaply from ebay.

@Inadaze80

Save the date cards are designed specifically for this issue. I'm sure you could pick up some relatively cheaply from ebay.

I'd rather do one thing well than two cheaply

@Peach01

No not at all. I think it's great. When you get a save the date you're waiting on the invite anyway so you know what the plans are for the day. Means everyone has the details when, where, food, transport.

That's exactly how I think!

You’re overthinking and worrying. Just send them out when you want. Why is this even an issue?

@FunMcCool

You’re overthinking and worrying. Just send them out when you want. Why is this even an issue?

It seems like it won't be from responses here, but literally everything I read on line said it was considered bad etiquette. I don't want to offend.

I had a save the date for my nieces wedding almost a year before but it was in America, she is American. We always had our family holiday at Easter so you may find some people have already booked. If your making a website why not just send everyone the link to the planned date so they know beforehand.

To me the only way to offend a potential guest is to invite them later when it’s obvious you have had a drop out and their B list.

It’s fine, I’d put a sentence in to explain.

These are not normal times though. I think everyone would understand your reasoning.

I think, if you don't want to do save the date cards, an idea might be to scan an unaddressed invitation onto your laptop, with all the relevant information, to resend later as a reminder by email.

I wouldn't be offended, but with things the way they are now, I'd consider a wedding invitation sent out so far in advance to be more of a "save the date" type card. Unless I was very close family/friends I certainly wouldn't rush to book accommodation in case restrictions meant I had to be uninvited . And I'd expect you to have to confirm arrangements closer to the time anyway. So I'm not actually sure why you wouldn't just send save the date cards and the actual invitations 12 weeks ahead?

I’d welcome it. My work’s annual leave year is planned in October for the following April-March, and out with this booking period it can be difficult to get time off, especially if it’s a weekend

@UserAtRandom

I wouldn't be offended, but with things the way they are now, I'd consider a wedding invitation sent out so far in advance to be more of a "save the date" type card. Unless I was very close family/friends I certainly wouldn't rush to book accommodation in case restrictions meant I had to be uninvited . And I'd expect you to have to confirm arrangements closer to the time anyway. So I'm not actually sure why you wouldn't just send save the date cards and the actual invitations 12 weeks ahead?

If someone sent me an invitation 12 weeks before, with a closing date for booking accommodation only 4 weeks away, it wouldn't give me enough time to budget for it.

I think you’re fine to send them, but so be aware that most people will treat them more like “saves the dates” and will need a reminder/further details 2 months in advance, to encourage them to book. Otherwise you risk some accidental no shows and people forgetting to book

I'd much rather have an invitation now than 3 months in advance.

3 months before Easter hols I will almost certainly have holidays/plans already booked, same for many people with school aged children.

We didn't do save the dates. I think they're a complete waste of money. We sent our invitations out early with all the info on. No one was offended! Didn't occur to me that they would be.

literally everything I read on line said it was considered bad etiquette. I don't want to offend. I wouldn't invite someone if they were the type of person to be offended by a wedding invitation!

Personally I much prefer things like this in advance so I can book time off, make accommodation and childcare arrangements and plenty of time to budget!

Lots of people will not feel able to commit to something that far in advance. I would not be offended by getting an invitation - it's helpful to know what you're invited to, but I would be irritated if you were pressurising me to reply with a definite yes or no at this stage.

I think it’s great to give people lots of notice, and not at all offensive/ rude to your guests.

I suppose there are a couple of other considerations if you send invites very early: 1) people may forget so a reminder closer to the time would be really helpful (in which case you might as well go for save the dates instead).
2) people may rsvp yes but then find that their availability/ circumstances have changed and find themselves unable to come. This might cause you extra hassle.
3) once the invitations are out, you won’t really have the option to easily move a guest to ‘evening only’ or to bump them up to a ‘day guest’.

If you have thought through these possible issues that may arise by sending invitations early, then I see absolutely no reason why not.

I sent my save the dates and invitations electronically... that might be an option for your save the date / reminder if you don’t want to spend additional money.

Offended.

No, no-one would be offended.

I don't think anyone would be offended to receive the invitation, I certainly would not!

But I don't think I would be able to 100% commit to accepting this far in advance.

And people will need a reminder about 12 weeks in advance, and especially for you to get final numbers by 8 weeks. So I don't think sending the invitations now will save you any work or expense.

There will be people who simply don't know what their work and life circumstances will be, people who forget to transfer stuff from this year's diary to next, those who are waiting to go on hol and sadly will possibly choose 2 weeks away over Easter over your wedding in the middle...but not decide until Feb next year.

@ViaRia

I think it’s great to give people lots of notice, and not at all offensive/ rude to your guests.

I suppose there are a couple of other considerations if you send invites very early: 1) people may forget so a reminder closer to the time would be really helpful (in which case you might as well go for save the dates instead).
2) people may rsvp yes but then find that their availability/ circumstances have changed and find themselves unable to come. This might cause you extra hassle.
3) once the invitations are out, you won’t really have the option to easily move a guest to ‘evening only’ or to bump them up to a ‘day guest’.

If you have thought through these possible issues that may arise by sending invitations early, then I see absolutely no reason why not.

I sent my save the dates and invitations electronically... that might be an option for your save the date / reminder if you don’t want to spend additional money.

We're not having any evening guests, only those we can invite all day. I completely understand circumstances might change too, and I'll definitely be in contact nearer the time!

Send save the dates now, or even just a flipping text message and say that invitation will follow. That way people get to know the date now and then in another 3-4 months the invitation will jog their memory.

Perfectly normal in my experience.