I've been with the same employer for almost twenty years, and in the last few years have been taking on increased levels of management responsibility. About three years ago, I was seconded out to work on a project when my line manager became ill and had to take a leave of absence, and when I returned I was asked to cover his role. This situation continued without resolution until late last year, when my manager left our service and I was offered the vacant role. I was very reluctant, but took up the offer, and have spent every day since wishing I hadn't.
I have come to the conclusion I am very ill-suited to management. There is so much to keep an eye on, and the management of staff itself just drains me. The last year has been extremely hard with the staff dispersed and working from home, and our role in the pandemic has meant a huge amount of extra and challenging work. I have a good relationship with our staff and with my management, and it is a good place to work, but I just think I am wrong for the role.
I hardly ever have a good night's sleep, and often wake up in a state of panic. I am extremely anxious the whole time - I spend Sunday nights in a state of dread about the coming week, if I take a day off I spend most of it checking my work emails.
The difficulty is, the job is very well paid. If I stick at it we really have no money worries - in the last year we have been able to afford a lot of much-needed upgrades to our house, which would be very difficult to finance otherwise.
I feel I am letting my family down by even considering giving up an income which could help us so much, but feel I am in a job which is slowly crushing me.
Has anyone moved to a lower paying job for less stress/anxiety?