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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think this won’t be fun.

41 replies

costerica · 30/05/2021 20:56

Do big group trips ever work where some couples have small children and others are childfree and some people stay up late and make lots of noise and others wake up early and make lots of noise and some need naps and meals at vaguely routine times and others want to go with the flow?

DH’s group of friends is very close to booking what I think will turn out to be a shit trip for everyone.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 30/05/2021 20:59

I think there are a lot of variables - how well you all get on, what you all can’t/can sleep through, how structured or loose you want the plans of the day to be, how big the property is you’re renting and how that impacts sound (if it’s a large place maybe the sleeping areas are far away from the bedrooms, or if you get two places between you maybe you group people on basis of age of kids/sleep needs etc).

FionnulaTheCooler · 30/05/2021 20:59

Depends if you all have your own accommodation, that sounds like a nightmare in shared accommodation but if it's one hotel room/caravan or whatever per family unit or couple then it could work if people are flexible with plans.

CrownKettle · 30/05/2021 21:00

Been on a few of these - always worked for us.

ThursdayWeld · 30/05/2021 21:01

Let them do it. It will either be fine, or it will only ever happen once!

Blankspace101 · 30/05/2021 21:02

YANBU - and the people with kids will be expecting everything to be done their way.

ThursdayWeld · 30/05/2021 21:02

However, if you go into it with an attitude of "This will be shit" then, for you, it probably will be.

Wavypurple · 30/05/2021 21:04

I’m so sorry but that sounds like a nightmare.

ChaosMoon · 30/05/2021 21:11

We've done it and everyone had a great time. One big house. All the kids (ages 1-4) were in one area, parents in another area near by, child free couples a bit further along the corridor. It was a big enough place that we could be out of ear shot at night and in the morning, but baby monitors worked fine.

Actually, we've done it another time with the parents and kids sharing, but I'd prefer separate rooms!

osbertthesyrianhamster · 30/05/2021 21:17

There's zero way I'd do this. I have older children. I no longer want to be in the presence of young ones on holiday for long or curtail behaviour for young children. If he wants to go alone I'd send him alone but nope, I'd not be going on this.

PairOfPears · 30/05/2021 21:17

I’ve been on both sides with some different groups. Think @Sparklesocks has pretty much nailed the variables. Someone referenced people with kids wanting it all done their way, I think it’s more that it’s difficult to be flexible with kids as ultimately they need food and sleep at certain times and that doesn’t always coincide with when adults want those things. The end result though is ultimately that the trip is skewed towards the needs of the little people.

underneaththeash · 30/05/2021 21:35

If it’s family / yes. It just needs to be organised properly with everyone having their say on what works for them.

valnevavaxx · 30/05/2021 21:41

I’ve done this a few times with a group of 30ish pals, about a third of which have kids.

You need to make sure you book a big enough place that people with kids can be really separate- somewhere with a separate barn building etc works well. My pals and I like to party so as long as the parents can take their kids far away from the action while the music is playing till the early hours then it’s fine!

BirthdayCakeBelly · 30/05/2021 21:44

YANBU. They don’t work.
Everyone feels like they have compromised and no one feels like they got what they wanted. Shit time all round.

Waveafterwaveslowlydrifting · 30/05/2021 21:45

No no no. Not for me. I'd rather pay twice as much and just have the accommodation to ourselves (me, DH and DCs).

KatherineJaneway · 30/05/2021 21:46

Depends on what accommodation you are booking but you'd need to be 100% upfront if you were sharing a villa etc. Expectations can vary wildly.

Original poster
costerica · 30/05/2021 21:47

The people in this group with older kids/no kids will just basically not see the people with younger kids if this goes ahead as planned. Thinking along the lines of party/drink/smoke weed (group of friends since teens who regress when they get back together) until 3-4am, sleep until 12-1pm, lie about the rest of the day.

I just really don’t want to go.

OP posts:
lulujuju · 30/05/2021 21:51

Don't go and let DH go alone? I wouldn't want to go either if they plan on regressing to stoner teenagers!

osbertthesyrianhamster · 30/05/2021 21:56

@costerica

The people in this group with older kids/no kids will just basically not see the people with younger kids if this goes ahead as planned. Thinking along the lines of party/drink/smoke weed (group of friends since teens who regress when they get back together) until 3-4am, sleep until 12-1pm, lie about the rest of the day.

I just really don’t want to go.

If you're the one with young kids, yeah, I wouldn't want to go. Mine are older and personally I'd not go on a holiday with couples with young kids if I had to see much of them because holidays are about spontaneity, adult activities and such to me now. My days of getting up early and CBeebies and Cheerios snacks and 'Shh, the kids are sleeping' at 7pm are not for me.
Structuredsward · 30/05/2021 21:58

Family, yes. Friends, no.

Original poster
costerica · 30/05/2021 21:59

I totally see it from that perspective. 10 years ago we were the ones with no kids when the ones who now have older kids had preschoolers.

Agree with PP about everyone feeling like they’ve compromised.

OP posts:
osbertthesyrianhamster · 30/05/2021 22:02

@costerica

I totally see it from that perspective. 10 years ago we were the ones with no kids when the ones who now have older kids had preschoolers.

Agree with PP about everyone feeling like they’ve compromised.

I'd really put my foot down. Nope, we're not going. Sounds like hell. Would he be the type to leave you doing all the kid work whilst he gets drunk/smokes weed/stays up?
MadMadMadamMim · 30/05/2021 22:04

It sounds utterly hellish.

If I wanted to go on holiday, stay up til 4am laughing loudly, smoking weed and drinking and not get up til lunchtime I cannot think of anything I'd loathe more than couples with kids being there. I'd be pissed off at the expectation of having to be quiet after 8pm and I'd be definitely aware of the noisy little sods breakfasting at 7.30am and then putting cartoons on.

If I had small children then the last thing I would ever do is take them on holiday with a bunch of middle aged tossers who wanted to smoke weed and party all night.

Countrycode · 30/05/2021 22:15

Why would anyone childfree/with older DC ever want to go on holiday with other peoples babies/toddlers?! Fucking nightmare IMO. I'd do it with people in the same stage as me (unless their children were usually really badly behaved in which case I'd avoid going altogether and have done in the past) but you're right this sounds like a shit show for everyone involved.

GreenClock · 30/05/2021 22:26

I wouldn’t want to go on holiday with young kids. Been there, done that.

And if the women get lumbered with the kids whilst the dads have a party, it’ll cause resentment amongst both mothers and non-mothers. I wouldn’t want to spend my holiday time playing rounders or Hungry Hippos with other people’s kids whilst my partner and his mates got stuck into the cider.

motogogo · 30/05/2021 22:28

Depends on the people. We've done it and it was fun, youngest child was 6 though (oldest was 12)

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