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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her?

343 replies

AmandaHuggenkizz · 30/05/2021 20:50

NC for this.

My friend has just had a baby. She announced the name to our friend group on WhatsApp. It’s very unusual. Personally, I don’t like it.
To be honest, I more than don’t like it and think it’s a ridiculous thing to call a child.

We all congratulated her and said he’s gorgeous (which he is!) etc but none of us have passed comment on the name.

She’s messaged me separately asking if the name is a bit much.

AIBU to tell her the truth, gently?

OP posts:
Strokethefurrywall · 30/05/2021 22:08

How strange, that’s the second baby Navy I’ve heard of.
Navy’s a great name, love it but whilst I’m not keen hyphenated names generally, it’s definitely not horrendous!

RachelGreep87 · 30/05/2021 22:09

Naively

ChrissyPlummer · 30/05/2021 22:09

It’s not a name. Terrible. Do registrars not have any powers over this? I think they do in other countries as IRC a news story when parents wanted to name their child ‘Tallulah does the hula’ and were told they couldn’t.

Back in the ‘80s my friend had to be christened ‘Theresa’ as her parish priest refused to christen her ‘Terri’ as he said it was a boys name.

Dannn · 30/05/2021 22:10

Good it’s awful. Not sure if I’d say anything, one of my good friends is currently pregnant and if it’s a girl she’s going for symphony which I think is horrendous but wouldn’t tell her that.

babbaloushka · 30/05/2021 22:12

I want a cat called Fierce Barry.

Me too!

PinkSatinMoon · 30/05/2021 22:12

It's awful..

however... say NOTHING 😂

TellmewhoIam · 30/05/2021 22:13

You do need to say something. At best sounds like a pedigree animal name...not the one the animal would be called by, the fancy one alluding to its ancestors.

Cruel nicknames could result (navel....)

Navy is a career, not a name! I agree with those anticipating little sister Army Mae.

What about looking up traditional names that mean blue or dark and 'secretly' having navy that way?

Iwantanap · 30/05/2021 22:13

I keep wanting to say "dairy lea" Blush
The Lee bit is what's catching me more than "navy". Navy just sounds like a modern name and wouldn't be that out of place. I don't like either, the poor kid will have to live with this.
I think I would say it's unusual and taking some getting use to and then go from there. See how the conversation goes? Ask what others have said and why she is asking you.

babbaloushka · 30/05/2021 22:13

@Dannn

Good it’s awful. Not sure if I’d say anything, one of my good friends is currently pregnant and if it’s a girl she’s going for symphony which I think is horrendous but wouldn’t tell her that.
If I were in your position I would probably heavily praise another of her name suggestions, hopefully a bit of influence from hormones is underway as Symphony is not a good name.
JudgeJ · 30/05/2021 22:14

@BirthdayCakeBelly

If I was asked directly I’d have to be as honest as I could without being rude.

Like ‘it’s a very unusual name’. That’s enough to tell her you don’t like it without being personal.

Agree it’s awful. Poor kid.

Or 'it's a very errr intersting name'.

She'll be here in a few years complaining that her prodigy is being teased about his name, aka bullied, and the school are doing nothing about it!2

Luzina · 30/05/2021 22:15

It’s unusual but it’s not like she’s called him teapot or something.

You could say that you’re more traditional when it comes to names so you’d never have thought of it in a million years.

WeMarchOn · 30/05/2021 22:15

Is this a reverse? Is it your baby and you're asking? Did your friends not say much to it?

AssassinatedBeauty · 30/05/2021 22:15

@ChrissyPlummer

It’s not a name. Terrible. Do registrars not have any powers over this? I think they do in other countries as IRC a news story when parents wanted to name their child ‘Tallulah does the hula’ and were told they couldn’t.

Back in the ‘80s my friend had to be christened ‘Theresa’ as her parish priest refused to christen her ‘Terri’ as he said it was a boys name.

Tallulah Does the Hula was allowed to be named as such, in NZ. Sadly she was later put under court guardianship as she was mortified by her name, but her parents wouldn't allow her to change it.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2008/jul/24/familyandrelationships.newzealand

iduno · 30/05/2021 22:17

Don't give ur opinion. Just say it's very unusual and so long as she and her dh like it then that's all that matters.

Totallyrandomname · 30/05/2021 22:18

I’m usually quite direct but when it comes to this I think I would reposed something along the lines of...
“How come you’re asking? Are you having second thoughts about the name “

I’d encourage her to do what she wanted because really if them,and the kid that has to live with it. Also if you say you hate it and then she keep it as his name she’ll know you hate the name forever.

People were quite obvious that they didn’t like the name I chose for my son. It’s not the same type of name but an older name that wasn’t so common. It’s since got popular and now apparently everyone likes it.

Undersnatch · 30/05/2021 22:18

@candle18

I think I would reply saying ‘why are you asking, are you having second thoughts?’ If you think she is starting to have second thoughts I would be tempted to tell her the truth.
I think this is the best response I’ve read - helps you gauge if she really wants to know what you think, or is just looking for validation and would be upset with you for not giving it. Hoping for the child’s sake it’s the former! Awkward.
ChrissyPlummer · 30/05/2021 22:20

Ah, I’ve misremembered that. I must have read about the guardianship thing. Thanks for the link @AssassinatedBeauty.

Theunamedcat · 30/05/2021 22:21

Ummm is she from a family where the cousins all have the same middle name? because if it is this thread is easily recognisable as being about them

CharlotteRose90 · 30/05/2021 22:22

I’d tell her if it was me. I like the name navy but it doesn’t go with navy lee.

ThinWomansBrain · 30/05/2021 22:22

@AssassinatedBeauty

I keep hearing it in my mind as "Navally".
me too

navel piecing for the christening?

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 30/05/2021 22:24

I would go with 'that's unusual. I suppose he will be known by Lee'

Or even

'That's unusual. I am sure it will grow on me'

Waiting423 · 30/05/2021 22:24

I like it - and my kids have really short standard unimaginative names

Feather12 · 30/05/2021 22:25

I quite like it. It sounds either traveller or southern US, I think it has a good ring to it.

spongedog · 30/05/2021 22:26

I am a school data manager. So accuracy on names is a thing for me! We have several children who are double-barrelled first name and double barrelled second name. So think Evie-Jane Smith-Brown. We have a school MIS system - luckily so far it can cope with this. (Most fields have a limited number of characters). And we also have a preferred name field so if Evie-Jane in year 10 wants to be known as Evie that's fine. But other systems are not so forgiving. I like the school names to match other systems - FSM, catering, school email, LRS - it doesnt always work. However hard I try.

My DC has my surname as a middle name (they have 2 middle names) - so they have 1 forename, 1 surname, 2 middle names. My ex's family view this as a win - I know my child would have struggled with double-barrelled (learning needs) so dont care.

But what would I say to a good friend? Tricky? But perhaps get them to think about a second middle name, rather than double-barrelled. It's still legal.

LunaNorth · 30/05/2021 22:28

I hope the surname isn’t Travis.