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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take my kids on a “proper holiday” this year

50 replies

cadburyegg · 30/05/2021 18:00

Feeling a bit sad about something a friend said to me. She has 2 DC both similar ages to mine. They take them out a lot, go on lots of holidays and weekends away in normal circumstances. They don’t spend a lot of time at home. I’m a single parent and the only thing we are doing this year is going to centre parcs for one weekend in august. CP is easy and my kids are 6 and 3. It’s partly about the cost and also I know by now that holidaying with young kids is the same shit different location 🤣

I’m planning on filling the summer holiday with a variety of things including holiday club for the eldest, time with their dad and grandparents, cheap days out etc. But my friend said “oh I bet you’re sad you can’t take them on a proper holiday” and I just realised that we won’t be. I know it’s silly but I just feel really sad about her pointing it out. Please someone feel better about not going on holiday/only going away for a weekend! I know we won’t be the only ones

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 30/05/2021 18:01

I’m sure it’s that most people are doing. Don’t worry about your friend’s comments.

IdoIdoIdoOoh · 30/05/2021 18:04

Tbh after that comment I'd be questioning my friendship rather than what I'm doing with my children this year.
It was a shitty thing to say and there was no need for it, how did she expect you to feel after that?
I'm not taking my children away this year because going abroad is out of the question and I haven't even looked for anything here and don't want to.
I don't feel bad at all, it wouldn't enter my head.

Ragwort · 30/05/2021 18:05

That's a ridiculous comment, I am married, have a child, no money issues, but often we didn't have a "proper" holiday ... Hmm. It's not the Law to have a holiday every year. You are going away, you have a weekend at Centre Parcs to look forward to. Don't listen to other people's snide comments

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 30/05/2021 18:07

Centre parcs is a proper holiday. I can't even afford a weekend camping this year.

hibbledibble · 30/05/2021 18:10

To be fair a centre parcs weekend probably costs more than a week away in a lot of places. If it's what you fancy then that's fine!

I've not been abroad in years, partly because of cost, partly because it's just hassle with kids, and partly for environmental reasons.

tigerbread20 · 30/05/2021 18:10

I wish we were going to CP rather than a few nights in portugal, £500 and the stress of the tests for the kids, it's just not worth it. All they will do is whinge about the travelling and that it's too hot/the sun's in the eyes blah blah blah. Next time I'm putting my foot down!

You will have a lovely summer and they always remember the weird and wonderful cheap days rather than the ones that cost loads.

Legoninjago1 · 30/05/2021 18:11

This is the second thread I've commented on this weekend where someone's so called friend has made a shitty comment about their choices. Unbelievable. Most people I know are doing similar to you OP. We are.

Coldwine75 · 30/05/2021 18:12

That is a proper holiday? We are only going away the odd 2 nights here and there, cant do anything else. You will have a great time, CP is lovely xx

colouringcrayons · 30/05/2021 18:14

IMO they are not being a decent friend because either you a) don't want a summer holiday, in which case it isn't a shame or b) you do want a summer holiday, in which case whe is being insensitive/a jellyfish.

We had loads of years without a 'proper' holiday. My kids are happy and loved and had loads of great times.

Soubriquet · 30/05/2021 18:15

My children have only ever been to butlins for a holiday.

The last time we went was 3 years ago. They haven’t been on a holiday since as we can’t afford it.

Coldwine75 · 30/05/2021 18:16

I always go somewhere every year, last year in Covid we managed 2 nights away and i loved that. For me, even a 2-3 night break is a holiday !

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/05/2021 18:16

Your friend is a twat. What is not a proper holiday about CP for the weekend?

Though in fairness, the cost of CP for two nights would probably get you a week in a cottage in a village/seaside town.

lazyarse123 · 30/05/2021 18:20

For years we spent a week in a caravan in Wales on a site with no facilities except a beach and a playground and the rest of summer we had days out by the river with a picnic and one or two of the kids friends and those are the days out they remember.
Your friends being a twat.

BendingSpoons · 30/05/2021 18:22

I love going on holiday but we aren't going anywhere other than PILs house this year. Prices are crazy in the UK and I'm not risking abroad, as too scared of being forced to quarantine with 2 small children in a tiny holiday apartment. Your friend is BU.

HTH1 · 30/05/2021 18:23

Yes, she’s being bitchy. But I’m sure it’s not too late if you did want to go away more in the summer (because it’s what you want to do, not because of anything she said).

superduster · 30/05/2021 18:24

Our proper holiday ever year is a long weekend in a caravan, at the same site less than an hour from our house. My kids LOVE it, every year. Not what I would choose if it was just me but definitely still a proper holiday!

Ylvamoon · 30/05/2021 18:29

What is a proper holiday??

WellLarDeDar · 30/05/2021 18:29

I think it's snobby to even judge what a 'proper' holiday is, particularly when referring to another families plans.

NicknamesAreLikeKleenex · 30/05/2021 18:30

MNers love to post “your so-called friend is a bitch” but if she’s normally nice I’d assume she’s just thoughtlessly projecting what her own feelings would be in your situation and trying to be sympathetic. A failure of imagination definitely but not necessarily a bitch.

iwishiwasonhol · 30/05/2021 18:34

Single parent here who doesnt drive ,so we we have never had a proper 1-2 week holiday ,only ever really done a couple of city breaks ,and weekend coach trips but have still had a fab time

Samsurrey · 30/05/2021 18:35

Friend? Are you sure? Centre Parks is beyond a lot of people’s budget. Avoid this friend. I fail to believe her intention wasn’t to make you feel like shi*e. X

IgglePiggleHater · 30/05/2021 18:36

Travelling is awful with kids. All those queues at the airport, then a boring plane journey, then having to get your luggage the other side and staying in a cramped hotel or holiday apartment. They'll appreciate it more when they're older and it will be less of a slog for you.

Can you get out to the zoo, water-park etc. for some fun days out? Your DC will probably like that a lot better. If you have a garden, maybe upgrade the sandpit and paddling pool and pretend you're at the beach, only less hassle Grin!

MargaretFraggle · 30/05/2021 18:37

What a ridiculous comment. I spent my childhood holidays in a tent in a field. What's not a holiday about Centre Parcs?

Holidays with young kids are stressful wherever you go anyway (except Centre Parks).

TigerMum8 · 30/05/2021 18:44

Don’t listen to this so-called friend. CP is a proper holiday and most kids love it. At that age, kids don’t appreciate the investments in costs and time involved with an exotic far flung locale anyway. Save your money for further down the road.

toomuchtooold · 30/05/2021 18:45

The year our kids were 5 we didn't go away on holiday, just did trips out in the area around us. 4 years later they still talk about some of them Smile There's a lot about holidays that small kids actually hate, anyway - the travelling, the heat, the unfamiliar sleeping arrangements - it was only when ours were about 8 that they actually started actively enjoying going away. I don't know why your friend said what she did but don't take it to heart. The kids aren't missing out at all.