To ask if you visit family every weekend.

[Boo2012]

Exactly that really.

Before covid we often felt obliged to visit family every weekend, we did and it was often quite time consuming. Never really enjoyed it and felt the weekends went too fast. But it's been nice to spend some time just the 4 of us as a family, out & about and at home.

We've seen family a few times recently but they are starting to get offended again if we don't visit at the weekend.

We have my partners family who live only 10-15 mins away so not far but you know if you visit you won't get away for hours.

Also have my family 30 minutes away. Still not far but an hour round trip.

After a long week we've learnt we just like to spend some time just the 4 of us. Me, dp and dc.

Neither of our parents are elderly or lonely at all so don't rely on us at all.

Plus I you were to visit both families that's a huge chunk of time. After a busy week we just want to chill at the weekends. We are lucky we generally get weekends off (not always). Our families can be hard work too. It's often not enjoyable. Maybe if it was enjoyable I would want to see them more.

Aibu to say no? We'll see them every 2-3 weeks instead?!

Seeing them mid week really isn't always ideal as we all have varying hours etc and other commitments!

They are just so easily offended. I think my mother struggles understanding as she's super close to my grandmother. They do everything together and always together like a package deal and I'm just not the same way! I like my space!

I can’t imagine putting pressure on my own children - or making then feel obliged to spend time with me when they grow up. It would be nice if they wanted to visit a bit if they had the time.

My own parents are demanding and I have gradually distanced myself from the as I need a separate life and to be able to make my own choices.

MIL and FIL are lovely - there is no demand that we visit them - no sulking if we don’t do what they want - because of this we enjoy their company and look forward to seeing them.

Surely once a month is plenty? That sounds hugely excessive to me if you're going to visit all sets of parents we couldn't manage that. As there's 2 sets of in laws, my parents plus the exes parents. So we are more like once a year (still a visit some relative every month if you throw in the odd visit to an aunt, sibling or cousin, then there are weddings, funerals, christening etc).

My parents, sister and my two adult DS live quite an expensive jaunt from me since I moved away and I've not seen them for 18 months. But, I do speak to my mum almost every day on the phone. DS1 and I text every day and speak weekly. I remember it being a 'thing' that we would visit my grandparents every weekend as a child but think with such better forms of communication now (not having to wait until the cheaper phone rate after 6pm and being able to video chat) we don't need to feel obligated to have a real life visit every week.

We stopped this during the lockdown too. Parents are rebelling against it a bit now and trying to do “normal weekly visits” again, but we’ve explained why we’re not, and we’re sticking to it.

No because I work weekends. But I wouldn’t if I didn’t. I try to see my grandma every week as she is very elderly, even if it’s just through the window when I have the DC. We’d probably see in-laws more frequently than once every 3 months of they lived closer.