To be totally overwhelmed by the garden?

[flyingtartar]

It defeats me every fucking year. Last year, for obvious reasons, I got on top of it and got some pleasure out of it and thought it would be a turning point. This year I started out with good intentions in the Easter break (I'm a teacher) and mowed the lawn and did some weeding and planting. Then it rained solidly for a month.

This morning I have gone out there and it's just awful. The lawn is massive, there are waist high dandelions and other weeds around the edges. These weird things that I think are comfrey (?) are out of control and shrubs that had been cut to stumps are flourishing in an unattractive way. The lavender I planted last year looks good and can just about be seen, the carpet rose I planted is alive but barely identifiable and the hydrangea I planted at Easter is amazingly alive but only visible if you go right up to it.

It doesn't help that I'm really scared of slugs and snails so won't go out unless it's been dry for a few days. Also a big hebe in the front that had been there for a few years had died for some reason so that needs sorting too.

When I go running literally every garden looks tidy and the majority look lovely yet this seems beyond me. I posted on a million sites and a guy is coming round later so hopefully it will be better by tonight and ds1 has decided to dig up the dead thing, but AIBU to think every other person manages to keep on top of this?

Forgot to add I've just built a wildlife pond in a huge wide planter with a solar fountain and some pond plants in aquatic compost. Hoping to attract frogs and newts. Good tutorials on YouTube. The sun was out today and the water from the fountain trickling over the rocks in the pond was just lovely.

We hired a gardener to sort out a hedge and some tree roots of a tree that was felled right on our boundary as it was causing an issue for us and the neighbours as pushing the fence down.

When we moved in it was a lawn only and no plants. We planted a laurel, a pear tree and a tree self seeded at the end of the garden as did a lilac tree. We also put in shrubs along the borders and a couple of rose bushes. Next door has silver birches and it is a very private garden, we built a large patio that has two sofas, a table that seats six and a chiminea plus a couple of other chairs under the tree last year. It now has a canopy and some bamboo screening. It’s absolutely lovely sitting out there.

I have some logs from the tree felled on the border and I’m making them in to fairy houses for under the lilac tree. To establish from lawn to well screened lovely garden has taken 20 years. The laurel bush is now 15 feet tall and was taken from a cutting in our friends garden.

@Jahebejrjr

Gardening is a really good way of keeping fit. maybe the people who aren’t keen could look at like a way of working out which has the benefit of resulting in a lovely green.

I definitely see it this way. One of the things I loved about it last year was it was an hour or two (several sometimes) when I wasn't sitting on my arse. It is like keeping fit for me in that I do enjoy it when I actually do it and feel mentally and physically better, but if I'm busy or stressed it goes to the bottom of my list!

I moved in to our house two years ago, it has a large garden.

Rather than be defeated op, perhaps see it as a series of tasks. Like housework, it needs to be done.

I had a splurge the first year and it has paid dividends now, the weeding is easier and quicker

It has been a journey

My suggestion, as other posters have said, large shrubs and trees, pots for easily manageable colour.

Little and often is my advice

Gardening is a way of being either a) eaten alive and spending the next week itching, taking antihistamines and then antibiotics for the inevitably infected bites, or b) coating myself in bug repellant every single time, wearing thick clothing no matter the heat or c) doing B but ending up with A anyway.

I don't live anywhere exotic, I am apparently just bloody delicious. There is nothing relaxing about it, although it probably does improve fitness because I do it as fast as I can to get it over with

Keeping on top of the mowing makes the biggest difference. My back garden was knee high when I finally got to tackle it yesterday after all the rain. I’d managed to keep on top of the front between showers.

My garden is a wrap around one so use the front garden as my main one and the back smaller and is for washing and other utility stuff.

Today on Facebook I got a memory pop up of 4 years ago when our garden was just beautiful. It was a fleeting fad for dh that year. Left to become overgrown and shit since. I redid the front garden earlier this year and it looks nice but the back garden is an utter state.
He now likes bird feeders so we are getting lots of birds in. I find our garden embarrassing. It’s a clay soil so is either a swamp or like walking on the moon, craggy solid underneath your feet.
I did consider artificial grass but can’t afford it. I know it’s bad for the environment but the garden is unusable so much of the year. Next door keep theirs prestine but wfh and spend hours on it. I ant commit to that.
With the rain, the grass and weeds are about thigh height. There is a raised bed, again full of weeds.
Dh is off with a fucked back and all the gardening stuff is in the depths of the garage, under loads of tools.It is down to me. I’m thinking of buying a strimmer and one of those weed gadgets just to tidy up a bit. Would that work? I am clueless with gardens

Would I weed first? Assume so or all the weeds would fly into the soil?

Could you afford a full garden makeover? Have someone in to rip everything out apart from trees. Replace with paving/ gravel, a small lawn and some very small raised beds. Then you would just have to cut the grass and fill the beds with something you like. You could use perennials or annuals or ground covering alpines for minimum work. A couple of containers of bright summer flowers for colour.

Really can’t afford that sadly. If I could, I’d get artificial grass and the garden levelled. We are on a hill and get a lot of water as we are near the bottom of the hill. This adds to the swampiness.
I’m sick of waiting for dh to do it so need to at least tidy it up.

Same here and I only have a small garden. The grass needs mowing but I need a new mower. The back of the garden is over run with ivy. The front of the garden is covered in bind weed and new this year those 'sticky' weeds. Part of next doors fence has completely collapsed but their landlord won't fix it as he thinks it is our fence (it isn't!) and my decking needs replacing. I haven"t even got round to planting anything in my pots.

Ours is the same it looks like a jungle and it's rather overwhelming.

I’m thinking of buying a strimmer and one of those weed gadgets just to tidy up a bit

Yes. We have a very large garden, it’s three acres, with big beds. So clearly manual weeding is out the question, it would take forever. I use a strimmer and a bush cutter. A bush cutter is basically a strimmer with a metal blade instead of a string. And I take the weeds out that way.

If the grass is thigh high then it might be a bit much for a basic strimmer, and a bush cutter would be better.

Thanks Bluntness100. It’s very fine wispy grass, buttercups and some daisies. Then loads of weeds. Tried finding one of the weed puller things online with quick delivery. The garden is only a new build small one, nothing like yours!

Ah ok if it’s wispy etc rhen yes a strimmer will do it.

I’ve this one ans honestly it’s an awesome bit of kit.

www.amazon.co.uk/BLACK-DECKER-Cordless-Trimmer-Lithium/dp/B01DXV8YNW/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&s=diy&keywords=BLACK%2BDECKER+GLC3630L20+36+V+Lithium-Ion+Strimmer+with+2.0+Ah+Battery&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1622476145&sr=1-1

Thank you! It isn’t available for 1-4 weeks but I’ll have a look elsewhere online. It’s half term and Ds has a tennis club for a couple of days, so hoping to get my arse in gear

The best thing I ever did was buy John Deere lawn tractor. Tamed an overgrown acre that now looks like park land. I used to pay a gardener with a strimmer £50 a week to do about 10% because he charged by the hour. If you're going to be a gardener buy the kit.

My lawn is about the size of your tractor.

Bluntness - I thought we needed a brush cutter but the John Deere is truly awesome. Channel your inner Hank Hill.

@KOKOagainandagain

Bluntness - I thought we needed a brush cutter but the John Deere is truly awesome. Channel your inner Hank Hill.

Um we do need the brush cutter, For the borders and the banks of the stream, I have a stiga park. We don’t need another ride on, But I was advising the poster on what she needed. 😂

OP maybe it would help to reframe how you think of your garden a bit. Messy gardens are great for wildlife, a lot better than a manicured garden. So rather than a failure, your long grass is a great habitat for insects which in turn are feeding the hedgehogs and the birds who will take care of your slugs and snails. Dandelions are brilliant for pollinators and you can eat the leaves in a salad (seriously, riverford sell dandelion leaves for about £3 a pack!).

I really love gardening but don't have much time so go for low maintenance options in our little garden. We mow paths in the grass and leave the rest to do it's own thing. I have a bunch of perennials planted up and then purposely only put in annuals that self seed so they just do their own thing and outnumber the weeds. It looks messy to many but to me it's heaven...and if in doubt just tell yourself messy gardens are totally on trend right now. If you're worried about what neighbours might think if they can see, just put up a sign saying you're doing a re-wilding project - only half joking there, I've seen a few signs in my town saying the same thing.

Oh OK - I leave banks wild. Each to their own

I cut back the bully weeds and wait to see what nature grows a lot of the time. Not to be too 'woo' but I see it as an extension of the curiosity of meditation. I have lots of planters etc where I can exercise my control freakery.

I think I am overfeeding my birds (people did point out on different occasions that birds here are bit chubby) because they are NOT touching the slug population😂

I have discovered in lockdown that I LOVE gardening! Every windowsill in the house has stuff growing on it. I like my garden packed with stuff, so wild that you can hardly get through the gate. I have planted 2 trees, a rhododendron, loads of foxgloves and put in a load of giant sunflower seeds today. I like to buy bedraggled supermarket stuff at knock down prices snd bring it back from the dead. My nightmare is the ‘municipal parks’ look with lots of tidy, twee arrangements of bedding plants. When I mow the lawn I go round the daisies and buttercups and I always question whether something should be labelled a weed if it’s flowering or has interesting leaves. Gardens are all about the growing in my opinion 😊

I always question whether something should be labelled a weed if it’s flowering or has interesting leaves

I hear somewhere taht weed is basically justa plant in a wrong place😁 i keep and cultivate some😂
Not all tho. Some choke everything else. But for example ragwort is favourite dinner of cinnabar moth caterpillars so i keep that in one corner