To be totally overwhelmed by the garden?

[flyingtartar]

It defeats me every fucking year. Last year, for obvious reasons, I got on top of it and got some pleasure out of it and thought it would be a turning point. This year I started out with good intentions in the Easter break (I'm a teacher) and mowed the lawn and did some weeding and planting. Then it rained solidly for a month.

This morning I have gone out there and it's just awful. The lawn is massive, there are waist high dandelions and other weeds around the edges. These weird things that I think are comfrey (?) are out of control and shrubs that had been cut to stumps are flourishing in an unattractive way. The lavender I planted last year looks good and can just about be seen, the carpet rose I planted is alive but barely identifiable and the hydrangea I planted at Easter is amazingly alive but only visible if you go right up to it.

It doesn't help that I'm really scared of slugs and snails so won't go out unless it's been dry for a few days. Also a big hebe in the front that had been there for a few years had died for some reason so that needs sorting too.

When I go running literally every garden looks tidy and the majority look lovely yet this seems beyond me. I posted on a million sites and a guy is coming round later so hopefully it will be better by tonight and ds1 has decided to dig up the dead thing, but AIBU to think every other person manages to keep on top of this?

Yes it’s lots of work.
With a 1 year old it’s a nightmare as it’s all sloped and terraced so I can’t let him just potter around whilst I garden on any part except the first tiny level.

I found a gardener last year when I realised it was just dangerous me even thinking a 6 week old in sling and considering using the hedge trimmer was a good idea

I have the gardener now April- October at least once per month to handle the steep slopes, hedges and ladders. I’m then so far managing the lawns, pruning and raised beds between dh and I.

I have decided to keep at least 1/3 of the slopes long as wildlife areas as well. And just ordered 1000kg of wood chip to try and reduce weeds in borders

FlatterNow

Many thanks, I live really rurally so suspect may not attract many people or they are all in same boat as me! Thank you though x

@Jahebejrjr

Please don’t cover your garden with artificial grass and pebbles. It looks awful and is terrible for wildlife The best low maintenance plants are trees! Forget the fiddling little annual bedding plants and plant a beautiful tree.

It doesn’t!

I’ve got lots of trees, plants in raised beds, veggie patches, hedges, a little front lawn - and a dog with a grass allergy!

Needs must and it looks lovely.

@LunaNorth My apologies. That sounds lovely!

Easy solution?

Get someone in regularly to just cut the lawns.

Take pleasure in the weeding and trimming instead.

I have a grass cut dude. Doesn’t cost me a bomb, does just the lawns and occasionally a bit of heavy lifting. My garden is getting there now I can dedicate more time to other things and less to pushing a mower around.

Our lawn isnt nice lawn grass, it's more like you get in fields and grows all willy nilly. I hate it, add to that it seems to be a dandelion paradise.

We made a lovely flower bed last year, I planted bee bombs and a few shrubs to make it look nice until they grow. Saw the bee bomb pictures online & looked beautiful. Mine however just looks like horrid, 4ft tall weeds. Pretty flowers, but raggedy weed looks none the less.

Our patios have to be mown because of the sheer volume of grass that grows in them.

So glad we move next month to a garden which is smaller and hopefully simpler.

[quote Jahebejrjr]@LunaNorth My apologies. That sounds lovely![/quote]
No worries

Bee bombs and seeds on general just have never worked for me.

@EveningOverRooftops beat me to it - get a regular grass cutter I used to have a lovely retired chap who did mine every 2 weeks. We have moved now and have a much bigger garden so we employ a local charity who provide training for SEN adults to get gardening qualifications and they come twice a month to keep on top of it. People with perfect gardens either employ people or are retired .

It's constant work 😂

Maybe concentrate on the area around your patio/seating area so that you're surrounded by lovely things and work outwards from there?

Weed suppressing membrane and bark chip is probably the way to go to keep weeds at bay in the flowerbed. You could do this bit by bit (metre by metre) as a rolling project and showcase the plants you actually like.

Aim to include a fair amount of medium height (1m-1.2m) evergreen shrubs for year round structure. Evergreen climbers are great too. You can fill gaps with smaller evergreen shrubs (hebes etc) and your favourite perennials.

Unfortunately the lawn takes upkeep. I've just purchased an Aldi cordless lawnmower (+charger +battery) with 3yr warranty to hopefully make the job a bit quicker with no trailing cables. I apply Wilko weed/feed/mosskiller sparingly late March/April and late September/October to keep the weeds at bay. I try to limit chemicals in the garden but I like a nice lawn.

I hear you OP I’m not very green fingered at all, I see the garden as a chore rather than a hobby or something I enjoy doing. My mother absolutely loves it, so did her mother - but I’m in my 30s and that trait certainly hasn’t kicked in for me at any point.

Now we have an awful lawn but we get a lot of birds feeding on it so that consoles me.😂

I don't really like the results of the wildflower mixes I've tried! I try to incorporate a lot of wildlife friendly planting, a small wildlife pond (no fish), log piles and insect hotels instead 😁

If you can afford to a regular lawnmowing person (maybe even weeding) would make a big difference and allow you to concentrate on more enjoyable aspects of gardening!

Gardening is tough if you don’t have a plan. It’s taken me about 5 years to realise that with my garden.

Think easy plants and keep it low maintenance. So, cut the grass once a week.
Try ground cover plants such a geranium - these are perennials so will come back every year and smother most weeds.
Plants bulbs in the autumn for spring. East shrubs like azaleas which flower in early summer.

I don’t like wildflower mixes unless you’ve got a massive garden and can dedicate a space to that sort of thing. Instead try annuals like cosmos (you can sow now) which will reflower each year.

My garden usually sits at the "just about under control" zone.

When I moved in it was chest high weeds up to the back door. I've fought my way back down 90ft of garden and only have the last 10ft to get under control. However, the rest is still very prone to weeds and it is a battle. For me lawn is easier than loads of flower beds but that's just because they get so weedy so fast. I have flowering shrubs that only need pruning once a year, and then I have bulbs (spring and summer) that reappear every year.

Last year was crazy (NHS) and the whole thing got totally out of control. In the end I begged my parents to come over and the three of us spent 2 full days sorting it out. Now it's under control I can keep on top of it. The rain has made things crazy currently though, I only mowed on Monday and it's desperate again already.

To attract the birds to eat the slugs you need to provide them with water - either an ornamental birdbath, but then you have to remember to fill it up regularly, or put in a small pond. The pond will hopefully attract frogs that also eat slugs. Nesting boxes are also really good for attracting birds - do some research online to do it right.

If you have a rubbish weedy lawn, it may need feeding. A good lawn is a lot of work, so you can either pay someone, or call it a 'meadow' and just mow a small section and mow a 'path' through the long grass.
But is has to be one or the other: lawns need good feeding, meadows need really poor low-nutrient soil.

YANBU. I've spent 5 hours solidly gardening today, I actually enjoy gardening but as a single parent I rarely have the time to do any and I'm sure my neighbours hate me too. It isn't low maintenance, my grass seemed like it's been fed steroids from the last month of rain, there's a gravel bit that's always full of weeds and weeds pop up between every SINGLE gap in the patio stones. Can't afford a bloody gardener or to have it landscaped so I just do dedicate days to it whenever it's nice weather and knacker myself out in the process.

I used to really struggle with ours but during the first lockdown we did a major overhaul and dug everything up, put down new paving slabs, artifical grass and built a lovely covered pergola area with seating down the back. Now I just have one big raised flower bed running the length of the garden to worry about and thats very manageable and enjoyable! Think we ended up spending around 6k in total even though it was all DIY but so worth it!

Try to do little bits at a time. Like tidying a messy house you need to conquer it bit-by-bit. I try mowing the lawn one day, weeding one bed the next, etc. It makes it less scary, you can have a list of things to get done in a week/day/month and when it's tidied up you can start planning how to make it more manageable. Could the rubbish weedy lawn be made into a wildflower area, or even a bug hotel type of thing? Depends how big it is and if you're happy with it being organised chaos. I gave up on growing grass in one corner of our garden so fenced it off and chucked in some mixed seeds. It looks lovely now and a hive for wildlife- which keeps them away from the rest mostly.

I've spent all day beating mine into submission. Almost an hour with strimmer, followed by 2 hours with the lawnmower. The grass was so thick and damp I had to keep stopping to clear clumps of wet grass from around the mower blades. I broke all my wooden flower bed borders and tossed the ornamental rocks into a pile in the corner as can't be arsed to carefully mow and strim around them anymore. My whole body aches, I'm still vibrating, and I've got sunburn

As a pp said, you need to attract birds to your garden and they'll deal with your slug problem. I've got a few bird tables and one of those feeder stations with a bird bath attachment. I rarely see a slug or snail anymore!

My garden looks lovely. My house on the other hand ...

I am lucky/unlucky to have small garden now but grew up with half an acre of difficult one.
You need to once sort it and then make plan. Like with a house.
So one week x is done, next week y area is done. Bit by bit. I use food industry gloves so i don't touch slugs. Bastards.

If you want alternative to lawn so it doesn't need much cutting look into things like creeping thyme or camomile, at least for some areas, maybe.

Dandelions can make lovely syrup btw 😁

Most importantly. Make garden comfortable for you. Don't look at super pretty gardens. If you have little time, you have little time. Make it simple with simple care plants.

I used to love lilac, then i remembered how short time they flower and decided, it's not worth it. 90% of my plants are chosen by the "spent vs how long pretty (or how much food they produce)" ratio😂 Does it need special soil? Not happening. Is it prone to ilnesses? Not happening. Make life easier for yourself😁

@weehoo

I feel your pain. Bought a house last year which came with a large garden which had been lovingly tended by the previous owner for 50 years. I clearly didn't think this through properly and right now the garden is my life (on top of a f/t job, a business and 2 kids)

There's 2 massive conifer hedges, long, long beech hedge, 21,357 shrubs, veg patch, more shrubs, borders, flower beds, FOUR lawns (which I lifted 50kg of moss from last month), shrubs, rose bed, 15' espaliered apple plus 3 other apple trees. And did I mention the shrubs? 🌲🌿🌳🪴🌲

DP doesn't help much, but refuses to pay for help so it's pretty much just me doing it!

I swing between loving it and wanting to cry as I get so overwhelmed

What kind of a knob head says I'm not going to help you deal with the garden and I refuse to let us pay for someone else to do it?! I hate the garden, but I want it cut fortnightly. If my oh isn't willing to do that then we pay someone to. He wants to save the money so he cuts it. If he didn't I'd pay someone. I certainly wouldn't expect him to do it and refuse to pay for help when I won't do it

I love gardening. It's my hobby and obsession. I think you'll find that the gardens you see that look lovely will be maintained by someone who loves it.
When it rained for a month I was still gardening, sowing and weeding.
If you're not a gardener then good idea to pay someone else to do it- it may be that that helps to spur you on

We have two large, beautiful gardens but they take me two full days each week to maintain during growing season. Atm, it’s worth it because we all get a great deal of value from them, particularly over the past year.
We’re looking at downsizing in 10 years though, when I’ll be in my late 60s and shall be looking for a courtyard, terrace or large balcony.
Can you stretch to a gardener? It is a lot of work.