Caring for 3 year old son

[soul83]

I am really worried about my job. I work full time night shift and my wife decided to fight and run off at the last minute forcing me to bring my sleeping son to work. I called my parents to come and get him but they live 1.5hrs away. They got in contact with my wife and she agreed to come and get him.

Now I'm in big trouble for bringing a young child into my office and for security letting her into the building unaccompanied!

I can't take much more of this nonsense. I work full time night shift (it won't be much longer at this rate) and I also try to study part time nursing.

My parents are trying to throw me a lifeline to take in my son and I if I choose to separate. My wife also throws things and carries on at me. Goes right off the deep end. She refuses counselling etc. Blames it all on me. I'm a useless, stupid husband who doesn't contribute to the family and just takes up space. My wages aren't good enough for her and so by default my job is not important.

She works real estate and has 3 investment properties. I pay the mortgage, insurances, bills etc. Buy majority of my son's food and clothes.

Every day when I'm night shift I go home and take him to school. Sleep a few hours and then pick him up or be up to feed him and take care of him before she gets home from work. Yesterday I didn't get to clean the home but took time out feed him, bathe him, do 2 loads of washing, bring in the dry clothes and send him to bed to sleep.

There really wasn't any need for there to be a fight. Her yelling and throwing things was terrible. I guess I never shut up when she told me to so she got more angry at me by reaching my face and trying to reef my mouth off.

I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't want to get a warning letter and bad record but I feel like the drama before my night shifts has gone on for too long and now I'm going to get a serious wake up call.

Even my parents are tired and angry. I'm not sure what else I could do apart from calling work and saying she took off and I need last minute carers leave. But they can discipline that short notice as well. My son's safety is paramount though.

That's why I chose to bring him with me and then contact my parents to come and get him. I couldn't imagine the trouble I could've been in if he stayed the entire night.

The work are mandatory reporters too so they could report this :(

If a woman wrote this everyone would be up in arms saying she needed to escape an abusive relationship. I’m sorry for what you’re going through OP, this is domestic violence and both you and your child deserve better. Talk to your parents and explain what has been going on.

Good luck OP, be strong 💪, you can do this

@Hesma

If a woman wrote this everyone would be up in arms saying she needed to escape an abusive relationship. I’m sorry for what you’re going through OP, this is domestic violence and both you and your child deserve better. Talk to your parents and explain what has been going on.

Good luck OP, be strong 💪, you can do this

Thanks for the messages of support. I think uni was the final straw that made me realise that my life has no enjoyment or fun. I ranked about medium on a depression scoring index by the psychologist. She hasn't mentioned needing to address that yet. I think most of it is coming about from feeling defeated about uni.

The psychologist found a clause in my organisation's paperwork that can help protect my job should she decide to take off again and leave me with my son. I could take the night off on short notice for emergencies. I mean that's what would happen if I had been injured or something serious had happened to the family anyway.

So it's all good and I will keep talking with the right people and start to unpack and deal with emotions I've bottled up. That's probably fuelling my depression but at least I'm addressing it. I'll come to accept the situation with uni. It looks like they will give me a chance to come back after my affairs are in order. They'll keep my place if I understand it correctly. So I won't need to compete with all then other entrants to the degree. My uni is good because they also do an interview with the Dean during the application process. Hopefully it doesn't come to that.

@Nothingwillcomeofnothing you are totally blinded by the fact the OP is a man. He is being abused! If the roles were reversed, you'd say a lot different.