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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Going from 2 to 3 kids is the hardest family size to transition into?

85 replies

scandicandi · 28/05/2021 16:08

I have 2 kids (3 and 1 years old) and DH and I would love a third.

We found going from 0 to 1 kid traumatic and then amazing. Going from 1 to 2 has been easy and so enjoyable.

But AIBU to think going from 2 to 3 is a different ball game as you are outnumbered?

Would love to hear other people's experiences.

OP posts:

cookiemonster5 · 28/05/2021 17:17

I found 1-2 a lot harder than 2-3 but that might be because I left my ex just after 2 was born and moved across the country. Once we settled in though it was fine. 2-3 had been a breeze compared to that plus I have my husband to help. But 3 is harder to balance because you are outnumbered and most things are made for families of 4 and not 5

SmokedDuck · 28/05/2021 17:21

I think this really varies a lot. I found it hard, mainly though because I was on my own a lot at that point as my husband was working offshore. Ages, the temperament of the kids, etc, makes a huge difference.

chasingmytail4 · 28/05/2021 17:32

I found 2 to 3 the easiest transition, mainly because the older two had both just started school and number 3 was a really chilled baby. 3 to 4 I didn't even notice, I had newborns sorted by then! Mind you, number 3 is 19 now and making up for being an easy baby by giving me lots of stress.

NotQuiteUsual · 28/05/2021 17:33

0-1 awful. 1-2 easy and awesome. 2-3 either awful or amazing and rarely inbetween.

Tetrixxs · 28/05/2021 17:35

@Cupcakegirl13 same.

2-3 has been a dream, he is only 9 weeks though! He really has slotted in.

1-2 was awful.

I think it depends on the baby. My middle child was very high needs!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 28/05/2021 17:36

One to three was a bit of a struggle.

BurningBenches · 28/05/2021 17:38

I found 0-1 hardest as I was youngish (21) unplanned, crap relationship, had to go back go full time work after 3m due to crap maternity in 2000.

2, 3, 4 have all been ok by comparison. I have reasonable sized gaps and the youngest ones have to fit in to an extent.

DeathStare · 28/05/2021 17:39

I found 2 to 3 by far the easiest

Feilin · 28/05/2021 17:41

Come from a family of 3 siblings initally dad and mum wanted two. Mum got pregnant with no.3 by accident 2 to 3 was a good mix

LeafBeetle · 28/05/2021 17:43

0-1 was lovely after the initial shock.
1-2 was easy.
2-3 was the hardest by far - a terrible sleeper and a nightmare toddler!

Myusername33 · 28/05/2021 17:55

I found 2-3 the worst, 1-2 was absolutely fine everything just fitted on well. I find 3 kids completely overwhelming to be honest, even now my youngest is 3 it’s just too much to cope with. Maybe it’s because no 3 was an unplanned pregnancy and my ex is useless and didn’t help when we were together and is just about as useless now we’ve separated.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 28/05/2021 17:56

I found 1 to 2 definitely the worse. 2 to 3 has been fine.

Bananarice · 28/05/2021 18:01

0-1 absolutely lovely, he was the easiest baby ever. Happy and content.

1-2 terrible, ds2 was born premature and had awful reflux and cried all the time and he hated sleep. Amazon prime and cbeebies helped raised ds1. I even put ds1 in nursery because of the guilt. It would give him time to play and have a book read to him while dh was at work.

2-3 ds3 is still very young (1yr) but he has slotted in nicely. It is a walk in the park compared to when ds2 was a baby.

WillowySnicket · 28/05/2021 18:04

2-3 total breeze. Easy brilliant baby, I was confident and a total pro, bossing it!
3-4 total car crash oh my goodness what have we done hardest thing ever.

PotteringAlong · 28/05/2021 18:07

1-2 was a doddle. Which is why we had number 3.

Number 3 nearly broke me.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 28/05/2021 18:33

0-1 really hard
1-2 lovely
2-3 wonderful
My friend who has five says it keeps getting better but we're done at 3. (I do wonder how much my experience reflects my eldest getting easier as she ages - she is wonderful but my god she can turn the mood of the whole house)

Tiredforfive45 · 28/05/2021 18:39

I went from 1-3 and it was hard as hell!

I love all my children very much and wouldn’t change anything now but I would never have chosen to have 3!

Lightswitchesoffatnight · 28/05/2021 18:40

@scandicandi

I have 2 kids (3 and 1 years old) and DH and I would love a third.

We found going from 0 to 1 kid traumatic and then amazing. Going from 1 to 2 has been easy and so enjoyable.

But AIBU to think going from 2 to 3 is a different ball game as you are outnumbered?

Would love to hear other people's experiences.

Barely noticed the third, he just fitted in. The first was the most difficult for us, so life changing. After that it was just normal life.

Miseryl · 28/05/2021 18:42

I found 0-1 and 1-2 equally traumatic. No plans for any more!

dottiedaisee · 28/05/2021 18:47

Depends on age gap and personality of the children. My third was the hardest because he had severe reflux but the other two were easy . Three is actually a really good crowd and now as adults they are all so different but get on well.

thisisfineihavewine · 28/05/2021 18:53

0-1 was hell on earth as missed my previous life so much, but DS was an easy baby

1-2... baby DS is only 9 weeks, but fucking hell he’s a piece of work. Such a demanding baby. I will never ever have another!

Somethingvague · 28/05/2021 19:11

Seems like it depends a lot on temperament.

0 - 1 was like a bomb going off. But he was a screamer who needed constant entertainment. Still a very emotional child now.
1 - 2 has been wonderful. But she is so laid back and happy.

We always said we'd like a 3rd. But I don't think I could do it with another one like my eldest - I don't think people realise how tricky some babies can be.

Crispyturtle · 28/05/2021 19:15

0-1 was the hardest for me as it was such a massive lifestyle change. 1-2 was just hard fucking work.
We were going to have three until we had two and realised that was as many kids as we could manage
I think it just depends on the kids you have. My best friend has three and her house is a haven of calm. My SIL has three and it’s unmitigated chaos every time.

Cattitudes · 28/05/2021 19:16

0-1 was the worst, 1-2 not too bad. 2-3 was fine, although having to do the school run with a baby was hassle, that was the age gap rather than having three per se but more likely with the third.

SmednotaSmoo · 28/05/2021 19:17

1-2 much harder than 2-3, when frankly I had ran out of fucks to give on what other people thought and I was too busy with school runs etc to spend time dwelling on how hard it was and how knackered I was. I was just more confident and in a better place.

But it helps DC3 was an easier baby than DC2.

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