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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't know if I'm just weird but...

62 replies

louisiannah · 27/05/2021 23:39

Hello,

Bit of a strange and kind of lighthearted post but anyway..
I am SO sensitive to sound to the point it angers me. Examples of this: If the TV is too loud of an evening (it will be on a low volume and I can't deal with it even though it's really not high to anyone else), sometimes the fridge freezer will make noises that annoy me, the bathroom extractor fan noise irritates the life out of me. I don't really know how to describe it to be honest but other examples are people breathing too loudly by me, eating loudly, loads of things. Am I the only one? It honestly is really effecting my daily life! I don't know what to do about it because i feel like I'm just quite clearly very sensitive to literally ANY noise whatsoever and it angers me massively. Going into bury places and there's loads of noise makes me want to run home is another example. I don't want to go the doctors in fear of him laughing at me and telling me to in polite words to get over myself! Blush

OP posts:
ofwarren · 27/05/2021 23:41

Misophonia

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia

Original poster
louisiannah · 27/05/2021 23:41

Busy places* grr autocorrect Hmm

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/05/2021 23:41

It's called misophonia. You are not alone, and it's far more common than you might think.

Original poster
louisiannah · 27/05/2021 23:42

[quote ofwarren]Misophonia

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia[/quote]
Is there a way to even treat that though?! It's driving me insaneSad

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 27/05/2021 23:42

Yeah, misophonia.

Original poster
louisiannah · 27/05/2021 23:42

Thanks everyone!! At least I'm not going crazy. Honestly it's exhausting to deal with.

OP posts:
Draineddraineddrained · 27/05/2021 23:44

My partner has this. He is doing CBT to keep his response to it under control, but it can't be "cured" per se AFAIK.

Original poster
louisiannah · 27/05/2021 23:45

@Draineddraineddrained

My partner has this. He is doing CBT to keep his response to it under control, but it can't be "cured" per se AFAIK.
@Draineddraineddrained might be worth speaking to my doctor about this then. I don't think I can go on living like this it's hell on earth for me! I'm glad your partner is getting help with it though that's really positive
OP posts:
sunflower1201 · 27/05/2021 23:46

I have this and I find it so frustrating. Especially with tv noise. I can hear a TV across the other side of our house and it used to make me feel sick when I lived in a terraced house. I'm glad it's not just me but I've never found a resolution for it

Laufeythejust · 27/05/2021 23:46

Omg yes I have this too! It’s awful isn’t it? I left my last job because of it- big open plan office, I just couldn’t deal with it!

Original poster
louisiannah · 27/05/2021 23:48

@sunflower1201

I have this and I find it so frustrating. Especially with tv noise. I can hear a TV across the other side of our house and it used to make me feel sick when I lived in a terraced house. I'm glad it's not just me but I've never found a resolution for it
The TV is the worst! Especially when I'm trying to sleep and my OH is watching the TV in bed. He ends up saying "it's literally on volume 5 I cannot lower it anymore" and it still seems soooo loud. Drives me insane!
OP posts:
Original poster
louisiannah · 27/05/2021 23:49

@Laufeythejust

Omg yes I have this too! It’s awful isn’t it? I left my last job because of it- big open plan office, I just couldn’t deal with it!
I cannot work in a big environment i would be exactly the same it makes me want to curl up in a ball and scream "be quiet!" Blush it's horrible!
OP posts:
SixDegrees · 27/05/2021 23:57

Would ear defenders or ear plugs take the edge off it?

Blacktothepink · 27/05/2021 23:58

Yeah ear plugs will help.

Draineddraineddrained · 27/05/2021 23:58

@louisiannah

He got help because I told him it was that or leave - his responses were coming out as uncontrollable anger, and one of his trigger noises was baby crying Sad He was never physical but very shouty, it was no environment for kids. Another trigger noise was drilling and there's endless bloody loft conversions round here so with WFH last year it would have been impossible with him having panic attacks/getting raging all day every day. I understand some people find medication can help with responses too, reducing the anxiety/fight or flight response to the trigger noise.

I hope you find something that works for you. Be aware it is incredibly hard to live with, so make sure your partner knows that you know it's you who is being U not him, that he doesn't annoy/disgust you - just the trigger noises provoke this excessive reaction in you, and that you are actively seeking help. It will help him so much - you really walk on eggshells living with someone with misophonia, so it's good to know they are at least trying to minimise the impact on those around them. Good luck!

Donitta · 28/05/2021 00:00

I hate noise. Not so much because of the volume - more because it irritates me and makes it difficult to focus. I struggle to have a conversation with music in the background. There’s no chance of me being able to work if there’s music on, I need noise cancelling headphones to work in a shared office.

Ellenthegenerous · 28/05/2021 00:01

Tv volume annoys me but my main trigger is cars on tickover outside my house. It drives me batshit

Original poster
louisiannah · 28/05/2021 00:01

@Blacktothepink @SixDegrees nopeBlush I can hear through them and I have tried so many different, supposedly noise blocking, earplugs. Also tried sleeping with earphones (AirPod pros) in with it on high volume meditation music playing and I can still hear sound through it. It baffles me how I can and I hate it

OP posts:
Howzaboutye · 28/05/2021 00:02

Noise cancelling headphones are your new friend! Get a pair that goes over the ear. As expensive as you can afford. They are amazing!

Original poster
louisiannah · 28/05/2021 00:06

[quote Draineddraineddrained]@louisiannah

He got help because I told him it was that or leave - his responses were coming out as uncontrollable anger, and one of his trigger noises was baby crying Sad He was never physical but very shouty, it was no environment for kids. Another trigger noise was drilling and there's endless bloody loft conversions round here so with WFH last year it would have been impossible with him having panic attacks/getting raging all day every day. I understand some people find medication can help with responses too, reducing the anxiety/fight or flight response to the trigger noise.

I hope you find something that works for you. Be aware it is incredibly hard to live with, so make sure your partner knows that you know it's you who is being U not him, that he doesn't annoy/disgust you - just the trigger noises provoke this excessive reaction in you, and that you are actively seeking help. It will help him so much - you really walk on eggshells living with someone with misophonia, so it's good to know they are at least trying to minimise the impact on those around them. Good luck![/quote]
@Draineddraineddrained it's so sad that the baby's crying triggered your partners, it must of been horrendous for youSadI really do feel for you as I know it must be terrible to live with someone with it. I've just show. my OH the responses to the thread and we are both relieved it's actually a thing and it has a name! My OH snores badly as well which is one of the things that massively angers me because even if he sleeps in a separate part of the home I can still hear him with every door closed! Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
louisiannah · 28/05/2021 00:08

@Ellenthegenerous

Tv volume annoys me but my main trigger is cars on tickover outside my house. It drives me batshit
That makes me want to cry when I'm trying to sleep!
OP posts:
Original poster
louisiannah · 28/05/2021 00:10

@Howzaboutye

Noise cancelling headphones are your new friend! Get a pair that goes over the ear. As expensive as you can afford. They are amazing!
I've got a noise cancelling headband with build in noise cancelling earphones and it didn't work for me. I honestly feel like I have no way to get rid of itSad
OP posts:
Original poster
louisiannah · 28/05/2021 00:13

@Donitta

I hate noise. Not so much because of the volume - more because it irritates me and makes it difficult to focus. I struggle to have a conversation with music in the background. There’s no chance of me being able to work if there’s music on, I need noise cancelling headphones to work in a shared office.
I find it hard to concentrate and have found that I love being on my own because I don't have to deal with the noise of other people no matter how big or smallBlush
OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 28/05/2021 00:21

Your partner shouldn’t be watching tv in your bedroom when you need to sleep.

He should wear headphones for that or watch elsewhere - that’s selfish of him.

NotChristine · 28/05/2021 00:24

Hyperacusis could also be worth looking into for investigation? Another condition that involves intolerance to sound.