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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teenagers: secret strategy exchange

47 replies

Bvop · 27/05/2021 23:15

Recently, my teenagers have been malfunctioning. Instead of talking, they often lapse into mumbling with occasional exclamations containing non-words. I discovered the fix today: I wished them a lit morning when they came down to breakfast, and said I hoped they’d have a very peng day when I went to work. I asked them not to be salty when getting them to do their chores. After some minor convulsions, they seem to be cured of the non-words! I’m using ‘how very peng’ as much as possible around them and it seems to be working as a maintenance dose to keep them using normal English.

Clearly IWBU to do this in front of their friends... unless they’ve been really bad. Please supply your hacks for dealing with teenagers, as I’m sure this one will be relatively short lived, and I’d like to keep them on their toes.

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 27/05/2021 23:28

'How very peng' really made me laugh Grin

Borris · 28/05/2021 09:32

I'm at the preteen stage, but am making notes for when my time comes. What an inspiration 🤣

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 28/05/2021 10:06

You’re my new hero OP Grin

Mumdiva99 · 28/05/2021 10:11

Blatant place marking for strategies to deal with my teen.

(The singing songs loudly on the way to school obviously doesn't work once they take themselves to school.....)

UndercoverIntrovert · 28/05/2021 10:20

I find getting the slang slightly (purposefully) wrong, especially with their friends present, to be equally effective. For example 'oh that looks well pang' or 'you're looking well hinch today'. There is no cure for said teenage behaviour, I've found, but amusing yourself in the meantime definitely makes the time pass more pleasurably

Sparklingbrook · 28/05/2021 10:23

We had a phase of 'I am aware'. Saying that back at them is a real winner.

Subjecting them to my superb Spotify playlist while singing along loudly in the car where there's no escape is always a hit. Grin

MorningNinja · 28/05/2021 10:27

When they are getting animated, put both hands up as if to surrender and say;
"Calm down [insert name]. Don't pull out the 9".

When greeting them/their friend, fist bump and say;
"Wag wan G".

It may not be effective but often raises a smile.

UmaTheUnbelievable · 28/05/2021 10:48

Hahaha, place marking for advice from the initiated.

Have recently been dealing with dd's preteen strops and moods by speaking very soothingly and appearing very empathetic, calm and understanding while secretly seething about their antic of the day.

I say, 'awwwwww that's understandable' and display sometimes fake sympathy. Once they've had their fill of this I stealthily move to 'have you tried to look at it from this angle or that angle, imagine what x, y, z might be feeling intros situation' while still appearing very understanding.

Seems to work sometimes but not other times. Confused

3scape · 28/05/2021 10:51

I referred to my daughter's outfit as non drippy. She did not respond in a useful way. Just rolled her eyes and called me a boiler.

3scape · 28/05/2021 10:51

*boomer

TotorosCatBus · 28/05/2021 10:55

and said I hoped they’d have a very peng day

😂😂😂
Genius

JanFebAnyMonth · 28/05/2021 11:02

Loving these!

Tangledtresses · 28/05/2021 11:09

😂😂😂😂

My teen is still asleep... as apparently he needs at least 4 weeks of doing nothing after is GCSEs

I will be also wishing him a peng day later 😂

Merryoldgoat · 28/05/2021 11:43

you're looking well hinch today

This made me actually laugh - image of a teen heading out with a bottle of Zoflora

JaneJeffer · 28/05/2021 13:46

Well done my drilla.

Horst · 28/05/2021 13:53

You’ll have to throw in a dilligaf.

This has been a popular phrase until dh started trying to use it, wrongly I may add.

peaceanddove · 28/05/2021 13:56

I go the opposite and launch into full, Shakespearean vernacular e.g. Prithee, fairest one. Woudst thou kindly convey thy besmirched drinking vessels from thy chamber to from whence they cameth?

It drives them up the wall, especially when it's Infront of their friends. And, with a degree in English Literature and post grad linguistics, I can keep it up all day. All. Day....

LagneyandCasey · 28/05/2021 14:18

Haha love it. You're not parenting teens properly if you don't make them cringe or embarrass them from time to time.

I'm generally not allowed anywhere near the front door when her friends call, but if she's been particularly annoying and I'm in my dressing gown ... well ... Grin

I also ask her what a roadman is regularly. I still don't get it but I enjoy her reaction and her attempt at explaining.

badgerread · 28/05/2021 14:22

🤣 brilliant! I'm frantically screen shotting...

TaraR2020 · 28/05/2021 14:32

how very peng

You're brilliant, op 🤣

bookworm20 · 28/05/2021 15:09

Excellent, thanks for the tips. At last some proper instructions!
Off to try some of these out.

StormBaby · 28/05/2021 15:16

My DD says “that sounds like a You problem” in such a dry tone that it’s hilarious. I love parroting it back to her 🤣

BarefootHippieChick · 28/05/2021 16:40

Woah bruh, that's peng innit

QueenofLouisiana · 28/05/2021 16:47

What a poggers idea! I stopped my year 6 class in their tracks when they told me something was poggers and I told them that I thought it was at least worthy of being a pog champ.

Joy of teens!