Teenagers: secret strategy exchange

[Bvop]

Recently, my teenagers have been malfunctioning. Instead of talking, they often lapse into mumbling with occasional exclamations containing non-words. I discovered the fix today: I wished them a lit morning when they came down to breakfast, and said I hoped they’d have a very peng day when I went to work. I asked them not to be salty when getting them to do their chores. After some minor convulsions, they seem to be cured of the non-words! I’m using ‘how very peng’ as much as possible around them and it seems to be working as a maintenance dose to keep them using normal English.

Clearly IWBU to do this in front of their friends... unless they’ve been really bad. Please supply your hacks for dealing with teenagers, as I’m sure this one will be relatively short lived, and I’d like to keep them on their toes.

My DD informed me last week that one of her best friends thinks I’m a great mum and really funny! DD of course told me this slightly begrudgingly. I think I’ve now reached the pinnacle of my existence as surely there’s no achievement greater

maccoffee Indeed!! You should be proud of yourself! Apparently I'm seen as the 'cool' mum because I listen to alternative music and go clubbing until 3am. My greatest achievement 😆

Used this when mine were teens, they often suffered from a mysterious loss of hearing especially when asked to do something. The answer... whisper to someone else. They were sure they were missing out and they would have heard a dogs whistle the amount of attention they suddenly paid (works if on the phone too).

Morale: Teens are nosy buggers and afraid of being slagged off the way they would do to you .

Thanks @BarefootHippieChick go you too! She obviously had to temper telling me with an eye roll and something mumbled about ‘whatever’ and ‘so embarrassing’ but I’ll take it anyway

This phase is going to irritate the absolute shite out of me. Particularly because I'm a damned sight more ghetto than my kids. That means nothing though, does it? The more bourgeois their surroundings, the more they want to talk like a south London coke dealer...

My teen is still asleep... as apparently he needs at least 4 weeks of doing nothing after is GCSEs
But there weren't any exams, just assessments so that should cut it down by at least half and tell hi he only needs a week. If he doesn't pick youup that 1 week is not 1/2 4 weeks then he needs to work on his maths for 4 weeks.😉 😂😂😂

I find getting the slang slightly (purposefully) wrong, especially with their friends present, to be equally effective. For example 'oh that looks well pang' or 'you're looking well hinch today'. There is no cure for said teenage behaviour, I've found, but amusing yourself in the meantime definitely makes the time pass more pleasurably

I love this!!!

My generation started most of these words but my DD hates it if I accidentally use one! I’m definitely going to try the getting it wrong trick just to make myself laugh.

I love how phrases come full circle. I heard dd saying about a boy recently 'He's dead fit' and it took me right back to the 90s...

I may have over used the teen vernacular a bit when I was young. (In the Olden Days) a few well chosen “groovys” and “cools” from dad put paid to that.
Trouble I I stopped, df didn’t. 🤦🏼‍♀️

You forgot to mention bears, that's bear sick.

@toomuchtooold

This phase is going to irritate the absolute shite out of me. Particularly because I'm a damned sight more ghetto than my kids. That means nothing though, does it? The more bourgeois their surroundings, the more they want to talk like a south London coke dealer...

Or from the wilds of the Durham dales. One of our teachers once said to our wannabe Snoop Dogg. “Good Grief Henry, you’re straight out of Barnard Castle, not Compton.”

Well I can't help with the vernacular teen stuff but... my secret teen strategy is that when my teens won't get off online games late at night I suggest I will return in 45 minutes before 11pm (school night) or midnight not school night - (these are 16-17 yo teens) to tell their friends how cute they were as a baby and some toddler stories "cos you know I will so don't make me do it, turn it off before midnight "

It helps that for some reason most of their friends think I am "ok" or "cool" 😎

(Only Bc I let them hang out in our garden, feed them - all Covid safe- and have at times gone out of my way to pick up other teens drop them off and always say hi how are you? (in an interested but not intrusive way- I learn who likes what hobby so I can ask 'how's that going?')

Great thread, cheering me up. It’s buff ting

When my son was a teen, in a potential row, I shared with him the story of how arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. It shits on the board and struts around like it's won.

"And you, my child, are the pigeon here"

In future disagreements, one or other of us would come out with 'you're the pigeon' - and then there's lots of back and forth 'no, you're the pigeon'. And once it has degenerated to that, no-one can be angry any more. Shouting 'no, you're the pigeon!' at eachother always results in laughter.

@3scape 😂🤩😂😂 boiler that's class

Love the pigeon story

i havent heard peng for ages. anyway, teenagers are utter shit. my advice is dont try to be their friend, be a horrible parent. make them do the shit they dont want to.

the only joy of having a teenager is that you must always embarass them by using the word peng = also try a 'woke' from time to time

”Or from the wilds of the Durham dales. One of our teachers once said to our wannabe Snoop Dogg. “Good Grief Henry, you’re straight out of Barnard Castle, not Compton.”

What a brilliant retort, @OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow! Made me laugh - thanks.

Be sure to compliment them on their on fleek eyebrows and how well buff their latest celebrity crush is.

I got told to 'grab a carrot and calm down' by one of my Year 4s last week. I was perfectly calm?!

I like to greet mine with “wa gwan ma fam?”

I'm 30 and love to torment my 26yo, much more street, sister by asking her if she's going to 'link' any guy she's been texting. Makes her squirm!

straight out of Barnard Castle