Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary school settling in for 3 weeks?!

298 replies

Smarshian · 27/05/2021 07:42

My eldest is due to start school in September. We have just been sent a letter about her settling in. Reception will not be in the first week (1st-3rd September), they will then do mornings (9-11.30) for one week and afternoons (1.15-3.30) for one week, before starting full time from 20th September.
Is this normal?! What are working parents supposed to do for those weeks? She goes to nursery full time at the moment and I will obviously ask them if they can do any wrap around either side, but it just seems a ridiculous amount of settling in and we can’t work around 3 weeks of 2.5hrs or less of school.

OP posts:
YoComoManzanas · 27/05/2021 07:45

This happened at my kids primary. It is very annoying. The kids were both well ready to get started properly. I think one week settling in is enough. I think you may need to talk with your respective employers and or try to find a temporary childminder. You have plenty of time to organise.

fruitpastille · 27/05/2021 07:46

It's very normal. I use a childminder fortunately so she did the wrap around.

CoffeeCakey · 27/05/2021 07:49

Why do they do that? I suppose it makes sense if the children haven't been to nursery or preschool for whole days but most children round where I am have.

NailsNeedDoing · 27/05/2021 07:49

It’s normal, and it usually works well for the children, especially when you consider that some of them will only just have turned four.

LittleOwl153 · 27/05/2021 07:50

It's very annoying. Fortunately our school had a more sensible approach!
I believe that school are obliged to take the kids for the full school hours - problem is here do you want to be the awkward one from the start and have the kid be the only one still in school.
Nursery will likely be aware of this nonsense and assist if they are within the school patch. They should be fine with the first week either way if she's not going at all assuming she has a nursery place over the summer.
Who is having her after school as I assume if you work someone else will be doing the 3pm pick up? Could they help?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/05/2021 07:51

It’s a nightmare it’s true! It happens at most schools as pps have said, and very normal.

It feels such a pain at the time, but it is only once in your child’s life. Hopefully your work and her dad’s (you said “we” do assuming he’s about) can accommodate you for this short period.

I was self employed when mine were at this stage so just took a big financial hit I think!

Newchances · 27/05/2021 07:51

Are you in Northern Ireland? Seems so common here. I know that as we have had difficulty booking annual leave in them weeks as I'm in a small team and every year someone is doing this!

Dee1975 · 27/05/2021 07:52

Yep pretty normal. 3 weeks isn’t too bad either. The local primary does it until the October half term ....!

EssentialHummus · 27/05/2021 07:52

From previous threads on this I vaguely remember people saying that you can refuse and the school will need to make provision for usual school hours for her - no idea in practice.

It seems a bit bonkers to me as a policy when so many kids have been doing longer hours in nursery. Why not 3 hours first week, 4 hours next week etc - what is the advantage of mornings here then afternoons there before starting?

QueenAdreena · 27/05/2021 07:53

It’s normal and as Nails said, works well for a lot of the children. Even if children do attend full time at nursery, it’s still a brand new setting with new staff and peers and can take a while to get used to. Appreciate it’s very difficult for working parents to work around but I think it’s done with the right intentions.

IggyAce · 27/05/2021 07:54

It is common however, the children who attend the school nursery on 30 hours or 2.5 days a week at my dcs school start full time from day one, because they already know the school routine and have often had a moving up day or 2 before the end of term.

Phineyj · 27/05/2021 07:56

It is a relic of the past and schools are slow to change. I really think there ought to be sticky posts on Mumsnet about this as it takes new people by surprise every year!

Parker231 · 27/05/2021 07:56

This comes up each year. You can send your DC’s full time from day one. We did as did many other parents in their class.

They had been in full time nursery and didn’t need a setting in period and who can take three weeks off work to spend their days going to and from school for a few hours unsettling children who are use to a full day.

Vebrithien · 27/05/2021 07:57

My Dad's primary school had 5 weeks if settling in last September. She started full time 2 weeks before half term.

Luckily, I was on maternity leave, however, one of my friends will be taking unpaid leave for the whole of this coming September, when her DD goes up.

It's always been 4 weeks before, but they took the extra week, as many of the children hadn't been in nursery/pre-school since March 2020

ChelseaChop · 27/05/2021 07:57

Normal yes

I declined the settling in hours and sent my child in full time from day 1.

JocastaNu · 27/05/2021 07:58

Our school got a new head a few years back who immediately did away with this crap, pointing out that the vast majority of kids went to the onsite nursery and interacted daily with other school staff.

Summertwilight · 27/05/2021 07:58

That does sound really difficult! I sometimes think primary schools think all children have a SAHM.

meditrina · 27/05/2021 07:59

I thought schools had finally given over on doing this, as it's a PITA behind PITA for working parents and no-one has ever been able to show it makes any difference whatsoever.

A couple of days, fine. Three weeks just no!

Email the school and say that you do not think it is in your DC's interests to have to deal with unfamiliar and cobbled together childcare at a time when she should be able to focus on her new routine. Ask for her to attend fulltime from the off, otherwise she will be starting once she can attend full days.

And arrange to continue existing childcare asap, before it's offered out again.

The last thing DC need are yet more changes in their routine in those first weeks, especially when they are entirely avoidable. I'd be aiming to get into the new regime with as few temp arrangements as possible

Original poster
Smarshian · 27/05/2021 08:00

I finish work at 3.15 2 days a week so will do pick up myself. I don’t work Fridays so that should be ok. The other 2 days we will be using wrap around care with the nursery she is usually at. I just don’t know what they expect from us, it’s ridiculous. When she started nursery at 12 months she did 2 settling in sessions!

OP posts:
VividImagination · 27/05/2021 08:00

Our primary used to do this but now they all start full time from the first day. I’m pretty sure they have to accommodate her full time so speak to the school. If they can’t or won’t than I would keep her at nursery for the first two weeks and take a/l for the third week so she can do the afternoons then on to full time.

CarlottaValdez · 27/05/2021 08:02

I can’t see how they justify delaying the start entirely by a week. That doesn’t assist with settling in.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 27/05/2021 08:02

When my younger DD started it was four days, then reduced to 2 days the next year as they thought it confused the children...

(Plus messed up the school buses... They had to provide a Reception only bus the first week and it took 90 minutes to get round everyone covering the four normal routes.)

x2boys · 27/05/2021 08:02

Yep they did this with my son when he started reception in 2011 I don't know why it just confused the children, incidentally when ds2 started reception at his special school in 2014 all kids were in full time from day one,and these were children with compl

x2boys · 27/05/2021 08:03

Complex learning disabilities.

m0therofdragons · 27/05/2021 08:03

We had 6 weeks of this utter disruptive nonsense. School changed to 2 weeks when dtd2&3 started - interestingly they have a senior staff member’s dc in their class so I can’t help thinking that’s why it changed. Ours was alternating morning/afternoon with lunches added week 4-6. I was on maternity leave with dtds when dd1 started school but how I’d have done it if I was working I don’t know - Dh worked an hour away at the time.

Swipe left for the next trending thread