Primary school settling in for 3 weeks?!

[Smarshian]

My eldest is due to start school in September. We have just been sent a letter about her settling in. Reception will not be in the first week (1st-3rd September), they will then do mornings (9-11.30) for one week and afternoons (1.15-3.30) for one week, before starting full time from 20th September.
Is this normal?! What are working parents supposed to do for those weeks? She goes to nursery full time at the moment and I will obviously ask them if they can do any wrap around either side, but it just seems a ridiculous amount of settling in and we can’t work around 3 weeks of 2.5hrs or less of school.

Schools are run for children, not the convenience of parents. Many children struggle to settle and this is the tried and tested method that works.

I was so pleased our school didn’t do this. They started with 8 children on the first day, then added 4 more every day until the full class was in. All full days. They prioritised children with physical/educational needs, then children who didn’t have a sibling at school, then everyone else in alphabetical order.

I think you can refuse settling in, and tell school they’ll be attending full time, but I’m not entirely certain.

Suffolk wouldn't let DS1 go full time until the term he turned 5 so he was mornings only for two terms. I wrote to the head, local authority, MP. And then the school commented that DS1 wasn't settling in well ? They wouldn't even let him stay for lunch. He'd been going to nursery since 3 months old - he was more than able to cope with a school day which is 4 hours less than a nursery day.......

This has always been a thing even since I was a child. Usually they don’t have all 30 children in at once until the 3rd week.

There are many reasons schools do this.
Main reason is that Starting in small groups helps the teachers get to know each child and help them settle.

Everything is new for them, they need to learn where the toilets are, where they have lunch where they need to sit etc etc it’s a lot of new information for them to take in at once which is why it’s done at stages.

Also just because you think your child is more then ready to start school doesn’t mean that all children are. I thought my own child was more then ready for school, I could not have been more wrong.

Luckily our school just have them ft from the start and mine haven't had any real issues settling in at all.

My friend took issue with the very prolonged settling her dad's school was proposing as her dd had always been in childcare but the school replied saying it was so the teachers could get to know the children well in smaller groups, which actually made more sense.

@DancesWithTortoises

Schools are run for children, not the convenience of parents. Many children struggle to settle and this is the tried and tested method that works.

I understand that but I genuinely don’t see the benefit of almost 3 weeks of settling in. If they were fine with a couple of days at nursery at 12 months (and most nurseries I know do a couple of sessions) then why do they need 3 weeks of 2.5 hours or less at 4? Along with the disruption of the cobbled together childcare?

I've worked in a school for the past 7 years which does not do this. All the reception children are in school full time from day one of term and in all the time I've been there this has never caused a noteworthy problem.

I understand the philosophy of trying to transition gently, but from what I've seen it's quite unnecessary. Kids are resilient and as long as they're told what to expect in advance, ie through stay and play sessions in the previous summer term, they're fine!

But dances the convenience of parents and children at this age are pretty much of a muchness. If a parent is inconvenienced the child is too.

If the parent can’t get the time off work (if they are a teacher themselves, for instance!) then they have to use childcare which isn’t always in the child’s best interests. Or if they can get the time off work it may have a knock on effect in how much time they can have off in the school holidays.

It's not a tried and tested system that works at all. Most children will have been in some form of longer daycare and lots, like my children, did 7.30am - 6pm 5 days a week at nursery. It makes no sense at all and luckily schools do seem to be moving away from it. It's all well and good to say "it's for the children not the adults", if the adults can't earn any money for three weeks that doesn't do their kids any good either. Luckily my kids school didn't do this and my children also went to before and after school club from day one. One had only just turned four too. Children really are adaptable and to inconvenience everyone for 2.5hrs a day for 3 weeks is ridiculous.

Our school have them in full days from the off but they stagger them in over 2 weeks in age order, 5 new kids a day till all 35 kids are in.
Most of the kids attend the on-site preschool so the staff are not new to them.

As a former early years teacher I actually much prefer full days from day 1 and I find it suits most children. The chopping and changing for weeks on end is often more disruptive and causes many children lots of uncertainty compared to doing full days.

When DS starts school I shall be requesting he does full days from the beginning if they try to prolonge the setting in process. From my past experiences the uncertainty of knowing when he's staying to, who is picking him up or whether today is a lunch day or not is far more unsettling than knowing that knowing this is big school and you're here all day.

3 weeks is pretty standard. Check if your school has an after school club. At my children’s primary school, they offered wraparound care for reception children while they were settling in.

Don’t underestimate how tiring starting school will be for your child. My daughter was at full-time nursery from 7 months old. I assumed that the settling in sessions at school would be a breeze. I was completely wrong. She was absolutely shattered, and by the end of the first week, she was curling up on the sofa in the afternoon having a nap (having not slept in the day for 2 years by then).

It is both normal and ridiculous in this day and age where almost all children have been attending nursery for at least 3 hours a day for at least a year, and most parents work.

Luckily DS's school just did a half day the first day, and full days thereafter. All the DC settled in excellently.

We had this at my daughters. One week of not being in at all, one week of mornings, one week of mornings with lunch then in full time on week 4. It was complete overkill for the kids who's parents work and had been used to being in childcare all day from a fairly young age, luckily my work were flexible and we just had to get through it.

I think less and less schools are trying this now as more parents were sending their DC’s full time from day one.

I don’t know any family with two working parents who can do this. It’s too much holiday to take at the start of the school year (even if your employer would approve the time off) as you need your annual leave for the school holidays.

@DancesWithTortoises

Schools are run for children, not the convenience of parents. Many children struggle to settle and this is the tried and tested method that works.

It absolutely doesn't for a lot of children. There was a big things about this in our school when Ds2 started last year. The issue was about it not being individualised. At least 80 % of the class had been at the school nursery for longer hours. It had absolutely nothing to do with the parents needs because half of us were out of work due to Covid.

The settling in period did the exact opposite for most of them , it destabilised what they were used to and eventually even the teachers agreed and at the end of the first week changed things. I was impressed at how swiftly they did recognise the issue and resolved it.

It's an incredibly old fashioned system. Settling in should be far more individualised.

Also don't be so sniffy about parents needs because they are often the children's needs too. Parents ability to work isn't usually because they fancy a jolly. It's not a "convenience " as you so delightfully sneer. It's to pay mortgages and put food on the table.

Don’t underestimate how tiring starting school will be for your child.

Everyone told me this, but it wasn't true for DS or any of his friends. They were full of beans.

Ours do similar as well for 3 weeks. It works for a lot of kids as they're not used to childcare settings prior to primary.

If you ask, if they have to provide full time space for your child from day one I believe.

However, we had a last few sunny afternoons in the park on our own before he was school full time and wanting to race round the park with new friends.

Yes this is quite normal. Yes it is a pain in the arse for working parents. But as a former reception teacher I do think it is beneficial for the children to have this kind of start.

@DancesWithTortoises

Schools are run for children, not the convenience of parents. Many children struggle to settle and this is the tried and tested method that works.

Is that still true these days though? A lot of children would have been in full time daycare, whereas in the past like when more people were stay at home mum's the child may only have been in nursery a few hours per week. It does seem really unnecessary to have such a long settling in period and as a pp said the school are actually obligated to provide a full time place, but that's not widely advertised to parents.

Only 3 weeks - count yourself lucky! In all seriousness, wfh flexi working where possible. I kept my eldest in preschool for the setting in period as wraparound care along with brek & after school club. It's a nightmare but soon forgotten about

When my kids started school (2011 and 2013) they did half days (mornings) for the first 3 weeks. It only changed a year or 2 after mine started school.

My kids were at a childminder.

Oh & budding up with other parents in the same situation to share the load...

My dc went to a private school. They started full time on day one. Both my dc had only ever gone to pre school three mornings a week and they both settled into school just fine.

Ours did similar. We had been using private nursery so he stayed there that first week so it was only two weeks “settling”. I do understand it actually, at private nursery new children would join one or two at a time so could get extra staff attention and children and adults could get to know the new ones. At school if the whole 24+ started at once, all not knowing where to go, sit, hang coats, find the toilets, open their lunch boxes, listen quietly, it would be very hard to even get through introductions never mind get to know each other. Whereas in two half-classes the kids get to know 12+ kids first (so maybe at least some names or make some friends) before the whole class comes together.