Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if this happened at your work....

106 replies

Ifimight · 26/05/2021 21:00

If someone made a sexist/rape joke in a meeting mainly involving junior staff but also with senior managers in it, what do you think would happen at your work place? Would anyone complain? Would anyone call them out as it being inappropriate in the meeting itself?

Just curious. This comes on the back of years of inappropriate behaviour and harassment, I'm wondering how other work places would/should deal with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ifimight · 26/05/2021 21:00

Sorry the voting shouldn't have been enabled.

OP posts:
sbhydrogen · 26/05/2021 21:02

I would have said something there and then and brought shame upon the person making the joke.

LivingLaVidaCovid · 26/05/2021 21:08

I work in a big tech company.

Their feet wouldn't hit the floor.

Someone in the meeting would have said something like "that's grossly inappropriate" if I was there I'd have done my usual trick of making them explain why exactly it's funny... because I don't quite get the joke... oh....sorry, how is rape funny? Er... okay... this is all very awkward for you...

It would be reported and could expect disciplinary at a minimum
(One of the upsides to working in a woke office )

looptheloopinahulahoop · 26/05/2021 21:11

I have a woke employer too. I can't see someone's employment lasting beyond the time it would take the disciplinary process to conclude.

TheMotherlode · 26/05/2021 21:11

I would expect one of the senior managers in the room to say something then and there along the lines that it isn’t appropriate and then to have a one on one conversation with them afterwards about professional standards of behaviour.
I’m a senior manager and this is what I would do if it happened at work. I’m confident the other senior women where I work would do this too, not sure the men would though tbh.

looptheloopinahulahoop · 26/05/2021 21:12

I should make the distinction between sexist and rape "joke".

Sexist, probably a word in their ear and maybe a written warning.

Rape joke - gross misconduct.

WorraLiberty · 26/05/2021 21:13

I work for my LA and heads would roll.

Just about everyone including me would call them out on it straight away.

Babyroobs · 26/05/2021 21:14

I would like to think someone would complain but not sure. I think they would regarding a rape joke but in our very small team there is generally a lot of banter, some of it possibly sexist/ ageist in a jokey way.
I have witnessed some really unprofessional behaviors in our team in relation to clients and there has been complaints made.

GintyMcGinty · 26/05/2021 21:15

I would expect senior management to call it out in the meeting and for that person to be disciplined.

My work has a zero tolerance approach to this kind of thing.

ShirleyPhallus · 26/05/2021 21:18

Interesting how many workplaces would deal with this right away . There have been a few “Karen” jokes at my (otherwise formal, corporate) office recently. Would the “woke” offices deal with these as sexist / misogynistic comments?

JonahofArk · 26/05/2021 21:18

It would be taken very seriously in my workplace. I know this because I have actually reported inappropriate behaviour from a more senior colleague in the past and it has been escalated appropriately.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 26/05/2021 21:20

I work for a trade union and its like working for a company in the 1970's.

They would probably make an excuse for the person who made the vile 'joke'.

If anyone said they were upset/offended by it? They would pay lip service and say they'd have a word, but in reality, fuck all would happen to the instigator.

queenofthenorthwest · 26/05/2021 21:21

I'm new in my job but I probably would of said something along the lines of "are you fucking messing"

Standard scouse for this is inappropriate completely.

I'd of had to.

LemonRoses · 26/05/2021 21:22

Room would fall silent. The senior person would ask for a word in private. Everyone would look at each other.

Person making comments would not reappear; HR would escort them off the premises, pending investigation and formal hearing. They would likely be dismissed.

Moondust001 · 26/05/2021 21:26

As a senior manager, you wouldn't be posting here because you would know the answer already. I wouldn't care the seniority of anyone in the room. If it was one of my staff they would have been asked to leave immediately, go home and await a call from me. If someone else's, I'd have said that it was inappropriate and they could expect a formal complaint/grievance.

And by the way, for those who love insulting and offending others, I am very "woke" - in other words I respect the choices of others, and yes I would F*ing well come down on the comments and on your use of offensive labels as well. What the hell is wrong with the world that people think they must defend their own position by offensively attacking others first?

Fearnecuptea · 26/05/2021 21:28

Yes happened to me in a meeting, maybe 3 years ago with my boss (senior manager), me (coordinator at the time) and a client.

Our client said something about being raped by the rates. Literally used the words "raped". I felt completely weird as suddenly dynamic shifted. I'm female, boss and client were male.

I didn't say anything at the time as my boss made no reaction to the wording. Still makes me feel crap now remembering it as totally out of place in a professional meeting.

Original poster
Ifimight · 26/05/2021 21:29

As a senior manager, you wouldn't be posting here because you would know the answer already.

I'm not a senior manager. I was one of the more junior staff in the meeting. I want to gauge how differently this kind of thing goes down in my workplace compared to others.

Nothing happened at all. A few people laughed along and then they just moved along with the meeting.

OP posts:
historygeek · 26/05/2021 21:32

I don't think you necessarily have to be "woke" to not find rape funny.

ilovesooty · 26/05/2021 21:32

In my last job it would certainly have resulted in complaints and disciplinary action. If it were sexist there would probably be a written warning. A rape "joke" would have been gross misconduct and the person would have been dismissed by a senior manager that afternoon.

ragged · 26/05/2021 21:33

what OP thinks is sexist/rape joke might make me laugh

I work with fairly stroppy women & quite shy men as a rule who would all hate a super bad taste joke that is how OP describes.

I need to know what the joke was to comment sensibly, tbh

ilovesooty · 26/05/2021 21:33

@Ifimight

As a senior manager, you wouldn't be posting here because you would know the answer already.

I'm not a senior manager. I was one of the more junior staff in the meeting. I want to gauge how differently this kind of thing goes down in my workplace compared to others.

Nothing happened at all. A few people laughed along and then they just moved along with the meeting.

That is utterly disgraceful.

Any senior manager who condoned this should be disciplined as well.

PoTheDog · 26/05/2021 21:38

@WorraLiberty

I work for my LA and heads would roll.

Just about everyone including me would call them out on it straight away.

It's good to hear that some LA's have a backbone/some decency. In mine, our previous female ceo resigned after horrendous sexism from local councillors. She resigned, they were sent on a course and made a half hearted apology Hmm

www.stratford-herald.com/news/councillors-to-apologise-following-sexism-investigation-9132592/

BillyIsMyBunny · 26/05/2021 21:39

I wirk in a very female dominated profession, I think how a sexist joke would be received would very much depend on who said it and who it was aimed at. If, for example, a male colleague was off sick and somebody made a joke about them having ‘man-flu’ I doubt they would be pulled up on it. Sexist jokes cover quite a broad spectrum so at the more lighthearted end they might be ignored but obviously not at the other end.

I have no idea how a rape joke would be responded to as I absolutely cannot imagine one being made in my workplace, or at least not in a meeting situation. It would definitely be badly received and I am sure the person would be called out and seriously reprimanded.

ilovepixie · 26/05/2021 21:42

A male supervisor asked a young 18 year old girl who she would rather be raped by and named 2 male workers. The girl complained, she doesn't work there anymore and the supervisor has now got a promotion!

Howtomakeevery1 · 26/05/2021 21:43

I work for a social justice law firm, if anyone was to make a rape joke they’d being reading the room so badly they’d remove themselves and likely resign. It would be so unusual there would probably be concern they were seriously unwell as you couldn’t work for us with those views.

Swipe left for the next trending thread