Would you have another baby?

[Peakenog]

I'm new here and not sure where to post this.

I've been with my partner for 5 years and I've got 2 children from a previous relationship. My youngest is 8, he is autistic but now he's got older he isn't too difficult and doesn't need constant supervision.

Me and my partner both agreed to no children (although at first he did want a child). In January I found out I was pregnant and although we were shocked at first we were both happy. I then unfortunately had a miscarriage.

For some reason I now want another child but I'm not sure. My eldest became a young dad a few months ago so I've been helping out him and his girlfriend and I've been looking after my grandson so that also could be why I want another child.

I just have no idea what to do

I would love to have a baby with my
partners. But we both have two each already. His are already mid teenage years. We just don't feel it would be fair to the ones we already have and especially the older ones. So we aren't. It will always be a question unanswered and a big what if. But we feel it would be very selfish.

Depends, if you and your partner both want one and its a joint desire.

I think if it's what you want, then go for it!

Personally, I don't think I would though. I think the amount of freedom you must get when your youngest is 8 must be amazing. I don't think I'd like to go back to a young baby after that.

Also (not in a rude way at all), but maybe you have forgotten how much hard work a baby really is as You don't think your Son and Girlfriend need a massive amount of support now the baby is 6 months old. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old, and I found the first 2/3 years absolutely horrific. I am SO grateful for when the grandparents offer to help, and they will drop everything to help us out or have a sleepover etc to give us a break. With your own baby you just won't be able to offer that help and support to your Son.

But I really do think that if your heart is set on it, Then I would do it

Absolutely not.

I'm going to say yes!

At 37 with no children or small children I’d say yes.
At 37 with grandchildren I’d say no.

I think now is the time to enjoy your grandchild, enjoy handing him back spoiling him etc. I think if you have another baby yes they’ll grow up together but it won’t be the same enjoyment.

Go for it! My grandma and my aunt were pregnant at the same time and this was 40 years ago. I don't see how it matters that you're a grandma. It's not for others to judge. If you feel you can manage, then why not! You're still young!

It’s really up to you OP. No one else can truly understand your feelings and circumstances. If you want a baby, have a baby.

Saying that. I’m coming up 36 with dds aged 16 and 13 abs there’s no way on earth you’d convince me to have another!

No! My sister is 6 years older than my son and that is close enough.. Be a mum to the children you have, and a grandma to the grandchildren to come.

I think I would in your situation, as you both want child , you have a long established relationship and at 37 you are a very young granny and that's not a reason to write yourself out of this! . Also DP has no children so no stepchildren scenarios to worry about. I don't know much about autism and the potential impact ,you would know best on that front.
In terms of supporting your son - I don't think anyone expects their parents lives to stop because they've had a baby. I appreciate your son is very young but you've got another dependant child for quite a lot more years yet, it's not like you're completely free of childcare responsibilities now, and it sounds like he is coping.

Where are your son, his partner, and your grandson living? I know you said the baby is 6 months old so they need slightly less help, but 17 and a father is still quite young, and very difficult to suddenly provide for a family, so I might be concerned they’d end up with you for a bit and you’d have two babies in the house.

At 37 with grandchildren I’d say no it seems unfair that op shouldn't have the child she wants because of her son's decision

Yes. Go for it. You're young.
I had my first at 36.