Would you have another baby?

[Peakenog]

I'm new here and not sure where to post this.

I've been with my partner for 5 years and I've got 2 children from a previous relationship. My youngest is 8, he is autistic but now he's got older he isn't too difficult and doesn't need constant supervision.

Me and my partner both agreed to no children (although at first he did want a child). In January I found out I was pregnant and although we were shocked at first we were both happy. I then unfortunately had a miscarriage.

For some reason I now want another child but I'm not sure. My eldest became a young dad a few months ago so I've been helping out him and his girlfriend and I've been looking after my grandson so that also could be why I want another child.

I just have no idea what to do

God no.
Becoming a young grandparent (39) put the final nail in any coffin for me.
how old is your ds? I would focus on the lovely part that you're a granny. I love looking after my dgd but oooooh I love going home to my dogs after

Your OP could've said quite literally anything and the answer would've been "no to more kids" from the MN jury.

Since OP asked for opinions it’s just possible she’s open to getting them. That’s how a forum works.
L

no.

If I wanted one I’d have one. I wouldn’t think to ask strangers on an Internet forum

How old are you OP? How old is DP and does he have children from a presvious relationship as well?

Maybe. You sound like you would manage well and your partner is on board with it.

I'm 37 and my partner is 35. My eldest is 17, him and his girlfriend don't need much support now as grandson is now almost 6 months.

No partner doesn't have children from a previous relationship.

No chance at 37 with a grandchild, But it's your life do what makes you happy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Can't believe all these people telling you not to. It's fine that they wouldn't but to tell you not to is a bit much.

I'm 35 and I want another, of course you should if you want to.

@SourLemons. She’s literally asking if people think she should under the circumstances of course some people are going to say no!

I think no as well. I’m sorry about the miscarriage, it’s normal to feel like that after loss. But under your circumstances no I wouldn’t try again.

@SourLemons

Can't believe all these people telling you not to. It's fine that they wouldn't but to tell you not to is a bit much.

I'm 35 and I want another, of course you should if you want to.

You don't really get the point of this, do you?

[quote JackieTheFart]@SourLemons. She’s literally asking if people think she should under the circumstances of course some people are going to say no!

I think no as well. I’m sorry about the miscarriage, it’s normal to feel like that after loss. But under your circumstances no I wouldn’t try again.[/quote]
I'm not saying they shouldn't say no but actually telling her not to do it.. she asked if they would or not.

I don't think you'd regret it if you did have another... It seems like quite a massive decision but I think once the baby joins the family, you forget about that initial worry about the change in circumstances etc.
Maybe let it all settle though for a few months and see if you feel any different? I think after a miscarriage your body is extra fertile so it might be the reason for sudden broodiness. Hope you manage to come to an easy decision one way or another and I'm sorry for your loss

Wow how lovely to be able to enjoy your child child at such a young age (even if it maybe felt like a shock initially!). You and your partner need to have a really honest conversation about it. The fact that you’re a granny really shouldn’t matter!

If you think you can manage the rigours of having a newborn, which as you know can be pretty all-consuming, alongside your other responsibilities then by all means. At 37 you'd likely not be the oldest in the clinic. I don't see why having a grandchild inherently means you shouldn't have another child, if you are young and fit enough to do so.

However, as this thread shows, you might have to face a degree of judgement from strangers.

Was supposed to be grandchild*

No. Not a chance

I wouldn't have another in those circumstances, no. You say that your DS's SEN are easier to manage now that he's older but in your shoes I would be concerned about the impact that a new sibling could have on him. The noise, disturbed sleep, disruption to his usual routine and having to share your attention could potentially be very unsettling for him. Also, at 17 your eldest is very young to be a Father and I would want to make sure I was available to support. Although it sounds like he is coping well, they are bound to have their ups and downs like all young families.

Personally, not a chance.

I say go for it. You were both happy when you got pregnant before and then sadly had a loss so you would have had a baby if that hadnt have happened. Best of luck to you and go for it!

No.

Personally if I had a grandchild I wouldn’t want any more of my own babies I’d move on to the next stage and be a grandparent

[quote JackieTheFart]@SourLemons. She’s literally asking if people think she should under the circumstances of course some people are going to say no!

I think no as well. I’m sorry about the miscarriage, it’s normal to feel like that after loss. But under your circumstances no I wouldn’t try again.[/quote]
No, OP didn't ask that, actually. OP asked what people would do - she didn't ask for people's opinions on what she should do. There's a huge difference.

At 37 you still have time to think about it. I think it depends how you and your partner feel, but I don't think your circumstances make it a bad idea to have another.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I think the fact that you were excited about becoming parents again after the shock gives you the answer you need.

FUCK THAT NOISE. Just no.