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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that muted pastel baby toys that cost about X5 the price of the average are a waste of money and a bit pretentious?

209 replies

FreesiaFairy · 26/05/2021 03:45

Have noticed that some mums seem to only tolerate muted pastel baby toys from brands such as Little Dutch or Liewood, that usually cost about X5 the price of the average for that toy, is this a first time mum thing?

I like to think I have good taste and appreciate good quality, but it's starting to annoy me how snobby some people are about kids toys, surely at some point they are going to have to break free of the muted pastel colour palette? I think Instagram might have quite a lot to do with it.

I get most of my little ones toys second hand and as long as he finds it fun don't massively care what it looks like. I feel like I'm getting judged on my taste for this!

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 26/05/2021 11:30

Yanbu at all. I just don't believe people who say they 'invest' in these toys

Ooh I know. Classic marketing trick from companies to make people feel good about paying extortionate prices. Grin

misspattylacosta · 26/05/2021 11:34

Why would you assume someone's house is a tip just because their child wasn't dressed in matching clothes? confused Surely the more logical assumption (if any were to be made at all) is that most children go through a stage of wanting to choose their own clothes.

because when you put random items, it looks like you grab anything clean from the pile of clean laundry!

Toddlers don't choose their own clothes 😂

misspattylacosta · 26/05/2021 11:36

TheKeatingFive

chill out, it was just a passing thought, I didn't feel the need to start a thread about it.

It just looks like the mum is too overwhelmed to have a chance to tidy up, I didn't realise it was that fashion statement.

TheKeatingFive · 26/05/2021 11:38

Toddlers don't choose their own clothes

Mine do Smile

chill out, it was just a passing thought

It was as passive-aggressive-judgy as I’ve ever seen on here and that’s saying something.

PegPeople · 26/05/2021 11:39

Toddlers don't choose their own clothes 😂

Dont they? I thought toddlers were notorious for choosing what they would or wouldn't wear which is why you so often see a toddler dressed in wellies and fairy wings.

NerrSnerr · 26/05/2021 11:41

My toddlers chose their clothes. Usually Peppa pig tops, party dresses or anything with Mario on it. Mine have always been particular.

Thesearmsofmine · 26/05/2021 11:45

@misspattylacosta

Why would you assume someone's house is a tip just because their child wasn't dressed in matching clothes? confused Surely the more logical assumption (if any were to be made at all) is that most children go through a stage of wanting to choose their own clothes.

because when you put random items, it looks like you grab anything clean from the pile of clean laundry!

Toddlers don't choose their own clothes 😂

Of course toddlers choose their own clothes!
misspattylacosta · 26/05/2021 11:46

If you are one of the lazy parent allowing your toddler to wear a snowsuit in a heatwave or a summer dress in the snow, then what can I say?

I am laughing at the idea of toddlers picking up their clothes in the supermarket, no wonder some of them look a mess and the good nurseries insist on a uniform!

misspattylacosta · 26/05/2021 11:47

TheKeatingFive

you might want to research the definition of "passive-aggressive"..Wink
sorry I touched a nerve with you and you are one of those mums!

PegPeople · 26/05/2021 11:49

@misspattylacosta

If you are one of the lazy parent allowing your toddler to wear a snowsuit in a heatwave or a summer dress in the snow, then what can I say?

I am laughing at the idea of toddlers picking up their clothes in the supermarket, no wonder some of them look a mess and the good nurseries insist on a uniform!

Well now your clearly just being goady for the sake of it so there's not much point in continuing the discussion.

I'm glad the OP has had some sensible answers and hopefully she has found the thread useful.

TheKeatingFive · 26/05/2021 11:50

sorry I touched a nerve with you and you are one of those mums!

Oh, very happy to be one of those I can assure you.

Your approach to raising children sounds radically different to mine.

misspattylacosta · 26/05/2021 11:51

there's not much point in continuing the discussion.

In proving that judgment can go both ways? Indeed...

NerrSnerr · 26/05/2021 11:51

@misspattylacosta

If you are one of the lazy parent allowing your toddler to wear a snowsuit in a heatwave or a summer dress in the snow, then what can I say?

I am laughing at the idea of toddlers picking up their clothes in the supermarket, no wonder some of them look a mess and the good nurseries insist on a uniform!

Well. I can only bow down to your superior parenting and perfectly dressed children. You sound like an amazing parent and I can't ever imagine living up to your example.

Seriously though, live and let live. My children are not going to be disadvantaged because their clothes may clash at times (they are now 6 and 4 so old enough to choose most of the time).

Just because parents choose to do things differently doesn't make you the superior one (but it does make you sound like a bit of a bitch).

TheKeatingFive · 26/05/2021 11:52

I’d run a million miles from a nursery with a uniform personally.

BeHappyAndSmile · 26/05/2021 11:52

@misspattylacosta ooooh you're a goady one aren't you 😂. Why not just let people (and their kids) dress how they please. The world would be a boring place if we all liked and did the same thing.

EmeraldShamrock · 26/05/2021 11:53

I do see your point with competitive parenting driven by SM.
6 years ago people judged when I bought a 2nd hand unbranded pram, Dsis bought a bugaboo 6 months later now every bloody pram is the bugaboo or similar, people are getting in debt or not saving anything striving to live the Instagram lifestyle.
It is all for show.

Original poster
FreesiaFairy · 26/05/2021 11:53

I have reason to believe from comments made that people were being bitchy about my choice of paddling pool haha. Sounds pathetic I agree and maybe I was being a bit paranoid. It's obviously hit a nerve in me that I probably need to address. But it's not nice when you feel like you're being laughed / sneered at and that makes me want to retaliate.

That's so true about being judged about every you choose after having a baby and I'm going to try and consciously stay away from that now (and also judging others) otherwise it's going to be a long 18 years of it..

I think this kind of thing definitely went on before insta but that has hightened it and is a sad thing for society, hopefully it won't continue on this way with appearance becoming the priority.

With the mismatched outfits etc, to be honest that can be a case of other priorities, I remember in the beginning being judged about how much make up I did or didn't have on - as if if I had time to put make up on I had everything under control / things were going well. But a lot of the time I would have spent time playing with the baby then rushed out the door at the last minute, not really caring what I looked like so that could be the case sometimes too

OP posts:
misspattylacosta · 26/05/2021 11:54

NerrSnerr

You need to get a thicker skin if you can't accept that people do thing differently and make different choices, no need to insult them and calling them a bitch. If that makes you feel a bit better....

misspattylacosta · 26/05/2021 11:56

BeHappyAndSmile

Why do think people having a different opinion as yours is being "goady" exactly?

NerrSnerr · 26/05/2021 11:56

I remember in the beginning being judged about how much make up I did or didn't have on - as if if I had time to put make up on I had everything under control / things were going well.

Who are these people judging you on such things? If people are judging you on your choice of toys and whether you wear makeup or not maybe you just need nicer people around you?

Original poster
FreesiaFairy · 26/05/2021 11:57

@EmeraldShamrock yes I agree, it can fuel quite an insidious type of competitiveness and focus on appearance which does wonders for consumerism but probably not much for our wellbeing

OP posts:
misspattylacosta · 26/05/2021 11:58

There was a thread recently about people judging parents for spending too much on a car seat Hmm.

Honestly who the hell cares!

NerrSnerr · 26/05/2021 11:58

@misspattylacosta don't worry- my skin is thick enough. It's you that is judging people for making different choices.

Can you honestly say your comments about parents of children is mismatched clothes came from a place of kindness?

BeHappyAndSmile · 26/05/2021 11:59

@misspattylacosta

BeHappyAndSmile

Why do think people having a different opinion as yours is being "goady" exactly?

It was the lazy parent comment and the "oh your one of those mum's" comment that came across as goady, not your difference in opinion. You can have a different opinion on how people dress their children without resorting to name calling and snidey comments.
Original poster
FreesiaFairy · 26/05/2021 11:59

@NerrSnerr that's probably true. Also a thicker skin probably needed. I just found it annoying that sometimes people assumed that if you didn't (or your baby) didn't look put together it was because you weren't coping etc rather than that you just had different priorities. Again probably eventing some of this in my head a bit Confused

OP posts: