To be very excited to return to work post maternity leave?

[TenLittlePirates]

I want to know if I am being unreasonable being very excited and looking forward to going back to work when DS turns 1 next month?

We could (just about) live off DH’s salary alone, and to be honest, most of my part time salary (I’m doing 3 days/week) will be going on nursery fees so we will affectively be in that situation anyway.

I just don’t want to stay at home. This is no dig at SAHMs - I have so much respect for you! It’s just not what I want. I must confess, my DS (who is adored and so wanted) hasn’t been the easiest baby and obviously maternity leave in Covid hasn’t been great. But even if he was the most easy going baby and times had been normal I think id still want to go back to work. I love my job - I’m lucky that before maternity leave I was genuinely excited for every day at work.

I’ve had friends and family both directly and indirectly say I’m making a mistake. A lot of my mum friends are dreading going back to work and would kill to be able to afford to stay at home. There have even been tears at recent meet ups - I couldn’t be further from this! A family member i value the opinion of even said (off hand, I should say) that putting a child in nursery unnecessarily is cruel - that they should be with their mother unless it’s absolutely impossible. I’ve seen the studies that say nursery can be detrimental under 3. It makes me feel selfish, but still not enough to not want to go to work.

Thing is, if I was working 5 days a week, I’d be earning about the same as DH. This isn’t a rant at him because he’s amazing. But I don’t hear anyone saying he should be at home with DS...

Would love to know the Mumsnet community’s views.

I hope your work colleagues are as glad to see you when you return as you are to be returning. YANBU to feel the way you do.

I found part time the perfect balance for me. Still got to spend plenty of time with DDs but kept my hand in and had an opportunity to use my brain.

I'd be a terrible mum full time imo, and I know I'd really struggle to climb back up to my level if i took a career break, I'm not very confident and my sector can move on quite quickly.

YANBU!

I couldn't wait to go back to work. I don't even earn that much and we could manage fine on DH's salary. I just love my job, and found maternity leave really boring.

DD is absolutely thriving at nursery, and I've never regretted my decision.

I thought a year was pretty normal maternity leave? Isn’t it?

@Minstermouse

I thought a year was pretty normal maternity leave? Isn’t it?

I only get some (really pathetic) pay for 39 weeks of maternity. I can’t afford to have the full year off and I would guess many others are the same or don’t want a full year off.

I went back when DS was about 9 months and was very happy to do so. The days were starting to feel very long and I wanted to be me rather than Mama again.

I've done 8 months (and shared my leave) both times. That felt about right to me.

@Minstermouse

I thought a year was pretty normal maternity leave? Isn’t it?

I'm not in the UK, so I don't really know, but a whole year sounds like an awful lot. I got 6 weeks paid leave (would have been 8 if I'd had a C-section).

Totally agree. I was so desperate to get back to work after my 2nd. Loved the babies, hated the mind-numbing, repetitive tedium.

BeingATwatItsABingThing

Minstermouse
I thought a year was pretty normal maternity leave? Isn’t it?
I only get some (really pathetic) pay for 39 weeks of maternity. I can’t afford to have the full year off and I would guess many others are the same or don’t want a full year off.“

Ah, I see. Our daughter was off for a year but her husband has a well paid job so for that period of time it didn’t cause difficulties.
Obviously, 39 weeks on not full pay doesn’t work in lots of other circumstances.

YANBU. Maternity leave is hard. I had 12 months, with stat pay for 39 weeks and accrued holiday pay for the last 12. If I'm honest with myself I was done by 9 months and that's pre-covid so I had classes, NCT meetups, baby cinema, etc.

I went back part time which was the best of both worlds.

You're not being unreasonable of course you're not, do what works for you and your family.

My DD is 10 months, my contract finished as I went on mat leave (well earlier actually due to covid) so I'd have to look for something else if I was going back. For various reasons we agreed I was going to stay home now at least till after Christmas, probably till DD is two. That seemed to make the most sense for all of us and up until a few weeks ago I would have said I couldn't imagine leaving DD and literally all I want is to be with her every day. But the last few weeks I've started missing work, I'm scouring the job pages and starting to feel sad when I chat to friends who are former colleagues and they fill me in on what's going on there. I'm definitely starting to rethink.

I went back full time when DD was 16 weeks out of necessity as I had been made redundant and given minimal maternity pay and totally hated it. However I had 14 months off with DS and was totally ready to go back. Working 3 days a week helps though! I enjoyed work much more when I had 4 days off than I do now being full time again.

@Minstermouse

BeingATwatItsABingThing

Minstermouse
I thought a year was pretty normal maternity leave? Isn’t it?
I only get some (really pathetic) pay for 39 weeks of maternity. I can’t afford to have the full year off and I would guess many others are the same or don’t want a full year off.“

Ah, I see. Our daughter was off for a year but her husband has a well paid job so for that period of time it didn’t cause difficulties.
Obviously, 39 weeks on not full pay doesn’t work in lots of other circumstances.

I earn more than my DH (not by much when you break it down to monthly income) so our income has nearly halved and that’s on SMP. DH and I are going without so that we can still afford nice things for our DDs but we’re out of money each month. If I went over 39 weeks, we would have less than half our normal income but with all the regular bills to pay.

It also makes sense for me to go back then because I’ll only have a couple of weeks before the summer holidays off (teacher) and I’ll be paid for them if I go back.