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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents Facebook page comments

76 replies

Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 19:41

I work in a school as a Pastoral Lead and I've been sent some screenshots of a parents Facebook page (private group) where a parent has made some derogatory remarks about my appearance. I've posted in the Staffroom page and I'm shocked that the majority of the responses have been to ignore it. Do you think I should or do you think that this should be tackled?

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picturesandpickles · 25/05/2021 19:43

I don't see how you can tackle it - what rule or law have they broken? It doesn't make it right, in fact it is disgusting. I just don't know how you would tackle it.

I guess you can start by showing it to your headteacher and ask them to advise?

What horrible people.

FloralJammies · 25/05/2021 19:44

I personally ignore any comments made by parents on private groups. I often get sent screenshots of them and let them go over my head.

Thebig3 · 25/05/2021 19:45

How have you got a copy of this in the first place?

I honestly don't think you can tackle it. It is wrong and people shouldn't be making remarks like that. But you shouldn't have seen it anyway. It's no different to two parents sat having a coffee together making these horrible comments.

Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 19:48

For what it's worth I spend an inordinate about of time dealing with issues about bullying on social media with my students. I kind of feel if I ignore it I'm doing my students a disservice (especially the girls as it seems to be mostly a problem with them)

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Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 19:50

thebig3 Someone has sent me them. I do think it's different to a couple of parents having a coffee as it's there for every member (100's) to see.

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whosappleman · 25/05/2021 19:51

Did this person challenge the behaviour on the thread... or just let it happen then send it to you to wind you up? I'd be annoyed at them for dragging me in to something so petty.

Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 19:52

If I had driven past a parents work, saw a parent and then made similar comments I would be held to account. Am I wrong to think this should also be the other way around?

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MargaretFraggle · 25/05/2021 19:52

That's really shit. In this situation, our head has sent an email to parents saying they have been made aware of inappropriate conversations happening on social media and defended their staff, in a general way.

FWIW I am a parent not a teacher and I left my DD's class FB page because it was so bitchy. About people in the group and kids, even.

PinkSatinMoon · 25/05/2021 19:53

Pull her up on it 🌸

Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 19:53

whosappleman people report things to us as we have previously had making extremely damaging comments made about staff before.

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Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 19:54

This is the second time the parent has done it. The head wants to pull her up for bullying.

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DysmalRadius · 25/05/2021 19:55

I'd let your manager know - the school may well have a policy on dealing with this kind of behaviour and I think it's important to address this kind of treatment and model appropriate behaviour.

DysmalRadius · 25/05/2021 19:56

Cross posted - good for the head!

Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 19:56

I've already reported the page to fb for bullying and harassment but they haven't done anything yet.

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picturesandpickles · 25/05/2021 19:57

@Witchcraftandhokum

This is the second time the parent has done it. The head wants to pull her up for bullying.
If the head wants to support you then yes, I would do it. I am glad you have support from your head Flowers.

I have never joined a parents' fb group for this reason, to avoid even reading any of this shit.

SnackSizeRaisin · 25/05/2021 19:59

It should be tackled. It's online bullying. What people say in a private conversation is one thing but Facebook is not private.

PinkSatinMoon · 25/05/2021 19:59

@Witchcraftandhokum

This is the second time the parent has done it. The head wants to pull her up for bullying.

Good on her 🌸

Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 19:59

I had to speak to her regarding her sons behaviour but she tried to deflect it by talking about our "vile girls" and the length of their skirts (which we are also trying to deal with). I just hope she doesn't repeat these comments on the page. Most of out girls are lovely and they don't need to see such comments.

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Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 20:00

pinksatinmoon

He.

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Curioushorse · 25/05/2021 20:00

Yes, the Head should have them in to speak with them. That's disgusting, bullying behaviour. If it's a school-linked group then I actually think it's inappropriate for it not to be monitored. The fact that you've been sent screenshots suggests some of the parents felt uncomfortable.

We had parental WhatsApp groups for each year (small secondary). We ended up having to get parents to sign the same social media contracts as their kids, and put a member of SLT on each group. LOTS of parents thanked us for it.

OP, I'm really sorry this has happened to you. I think that sounds just awful.

Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 20:01

I find it sad that the teachers who responded to my other thread think this is just part of the job.

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Original poster
Witchcraftandhokum · 25/05/2021 20:01

Curioushorse Thank you.

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shouldistop · 25/05/2021 20:03

I'm really surprised the other parents on the page haven't said anything to her or reported the comments to Facebook. That's horrible. She's the one that sounds vile.

Mygardenisanightmare · 25/05/2021 20:03

About your appearance? Wtaf

picturesandpickles · 25/05/2021 20:04

@Curioushorse

Yes, the Head should have them in to speak with them. That's disgusting, bullying behaviour. If it's a school-linked group then I actually think it's inappropriate for it not to be monitored. The fact that you've been sent screenshots suggests some of the parents felt uncomfortable.

We had parental WhatsApp groups for each year (small secondary). We ended up having to get parents to sign the same social media contracts as their kids, and put a member of SLT on each group. LOTS of parents thanked us for it.

OP, I'm really sorry this has happened to you. I think that sounds just awful.

Depressing it is needed but if staff were on the groups I might be willing to join.