Aibu to never dance again

[PeriMisabastard]

I’ve never danced with my partner. I’ve witnessed him on a dance floor once in 13 years and he was like a drunken puppet wizard casting spells on the others on the dance floor. It was embarrassing to say the least. Dad dancing would have been a welcome relief.

I’m a bit sad we’ve never actually danced together but I’ve no desire to be cast into the bowels of Mordor on a night out. AIBU to avoid dance floors for the rest of my life?

Please tell me other people have partners who are closet wizards on the dance floor.

@Vodkaandballoon

Guilty feet have got no rhythm!

Oh my God! I've just realised I've always sang these words wrong - I really did think it was "Guilty feeling, got no rhythm" which, of course, now that I think about it makes absolutely No Sense!

I can handle DH dancing solo. I hate it when he wants to dance with me because the only way to do it is to go floppy and forget all notions of rhythm and counting to 4 and just let him flail my arms around.
He thinks he's good...

Life is much too short to avoid dancing! I can dance, my husband dad dances. I dance on my own and grab him for the slow dances. I do not care a jot what people think of his dancing as I love him.

I dance like a twitchy zombie and love it. Dancing isn’t a spectator sport.

op your description gave me a good laugh. I don't even know the last time I danced, probably really out of touch myself

Dh and I play the same Earth Wind & Fire song and dance like absolute fools.

Let me guess...Boogie Wonderland? Oh the sheer joy of Earth Wind & Fire. And Disco Inferno by the Trammps. What passes for dance music these days is just shit in comparison.

My ex danced horrifically - all crouching in front of me, arms uplifted, sort of bouncing on his heels, imploring me somehow, and then partial splits & one arm up, grasping me by the hips

Like a drunken Travolta doing Northern Soul. Just awful - I hated it & found it excruciating.

He told me I couldn’t dance very well at all - I love to dance & everyone else seems to think I’m a good dancer - he just liked to put me down —twat—

he was like a drunken puppet wizard casting spells on the others on the dance floor

Thank you OP for a genuine belly laugh.

The imagery of your DH dancing is vivid!

I didn't see DH dance until our wedding day. It was a fabulous revelation purely because he's so funny with his dodgy moves. I'm gutted that he's never danced since, I'd love to get up there with his crazy moves again.

Oh god once you're old enough to be a dad you have to dance like one, it's odd otherwise surely?

@CounsellorTroi

Dh and I play the same Earth Wind & Fire song and dance like absolute fools.

Let me guess...Boogie Wonderland? Oh the sheer joy of Earth Wind & Fire. And Disco Inferno by the Trammps. What passes for dance music these days is just shit in comparison.

Fantasy, great song to behave ridiculous to.

Oh yes Fantasy is great.

The last time I was 'getting down' on the dance floor, two young ones came up to me and said 'we love you you're brilliant'. I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified.

Oh my God! I've just realised I've always sang these words wrong - I really did think it was "Guilty feeling, got no rhythm" which, of course, now that I think about it makes absolutely No Sense!

Not that it makes a whole lot of sense to think that the feet of someone who's shagging around suddenly 'ain't got no rhythm', otherwise all the appalling dancers described in wondrous detail on this thread would clearly be serial shaggers, hence the two left feet and wizard puppetry.

I think it's better do dance wildly than not to dance at all. My DH won't dance. He sits on the side lines.

"Dance like no-one is watching".

Yes YABU and I think you are missing the point of dancing.

My husband never dances - he has no sense of rhythm. He literally can't clap in time to music.

Doesn't stop me getting up on the dance floor ever chance I get though. Love a good boogie :)

I'm disabled now but I used to be the one who embarrassed my husband while he just kind of shuffled on one spot. I cut my teeth in the gay clubs of Belfast in my teens and early twenties (when the Kremlin had poles and The Parliament was in its heyday 😳) with my male best friend who had no inhibitions and danced like nobody was watching, husband had a really sheltered upbringing and didn't really go out much. I miss those days!

One of my favourite memes was "Dance like no one is watching - they're not, they're checking their phones."

Haha! My husband is a really good dancer but my ex was an embarrassment. We went to a rock club once and he pulled out the drunk uncle at wedding moves 🙈

Get him a copy of Just Dance and let him practise!

Loving the mental image from your OP DH has absolutely zero rhythm - he couldn't even sway/side step in time to our wedding dance (annoyingly as I've spent a good portion of my life playing instruments so find it nearly impossible not to move in time to a beat!!)

But I'm not exactly known for my grace so we love having a silly dance together. It's just my silly moves are in time and his aren't!

@PussGirl

DP is dreadful at dancing, it is awful to watch, it only happens when he is pissed, thumbs in the air, drunkenly falling from one foot to the other.

He never dances but was so pissed a couple of years he “danced” and it was filmed and put on Facebook. Even DP can’t bear to watch it.

Dancing style is a clear indicator of what a man is like in bed. I’m not sure what a wizard puppet would be like in the sack, though.