AIBU ... this is not my issue ?

[SheepyLamb2]

I am having serious issues with work and not sure how much longer I can put up with this or AIBU?

I have been in my company for 5 years and generally it's OK . It's a small company of 20 so no HR to go to unfortunately with any problems.

We hired a new person this year who was under performing from day one.
They simply could not seem to get anything right and it did impact me a lot. We began WFH because of covid for 3 months so somethings were brushed under the carpet but it's only gotten worse since full office return inc not completing all tasks, lots and lots of mistakes, high amounts of lateness.

Manager was dealing with this and I thought he would fail probation but no, pass. Now their duties have been stripped and moved within the rest of the projects team and they do the bare minimum.

I still have to work with the person closely and there has almost been a switch in attitude from manager. Now anything new person gets wrong , manager will say it is us. Even the simplest of task . 'We havnt reminded them enough' or 'we need to give more simple instructions'
This can literally be as easy as 'please print this today ' and if person has forgotten I am blamed and told I should have set a reminder for him! I may aswell do this myself.

New person is quite sensitive and he takes things personally. So now anything I say to him is being critised as not sensitive enough and I feel I am being analysed for everything I do . It's putting me on edge and I just want to get on with my job!

E.g I say oh have you printed that item?
This is apparently not sensitive enough and I need to explain further why I am chasing and avoid sounding like I am accusing him of forgetting by chasing the item.. even if he's forgot.

AIBU or is this just impossible to work with?
Admitedly I have shown frustration at times due to difficulty dealing with the constant issues.
Spoke to manager who use to understand but now I am definetely 'the bad one' and anything I say negatively about this person or mention I am struggling is put back on me as being too negative.

It's making me want to leave!

You say this person is now just doing very minimal work anyway. Can you just not give them anything to do so you don't have to manage them at all? It sounds like there's no benefit to them doing the work if you're having to micromanage to the point you may as well do it yourself anyway!

Tell them you are considering leaving because you are constantly being undermined and it’s affecting your mental health.

I agree it’s most probably a hidden disability. Manager will have to put up with it for a long tone because it’s very hard to discipline and sack someone with such a disability who is taking advantage and not performing as well as they could even after accounting for the disability. It’s a very long and legal process and with no HR, I think your Manager is going to be a completely lost and unsupported.

I think them taking this frustration out on you by putting you under microscope is wrong and I couldn’t work in those conditions either. I’d keep quiet from now on, but look for a new job.

@SheepyLamb2 Yeah I couldn’t be arsed with that either I’m afraid. Blaming you for things going wrong is bad enough but to make it personal is too far!
If you do decide to leave, try to secure a new position first. It’s 100x easier to get a job when you’re currently in one! Also bear in mind that since it is a small business, chances are you will need that manager to act as a reference.

So you sound like you're on a lose/lose situation, ask them to do the task they are paid to do you're horrible and negative.
Don't ask them to do it, and you have to do it?

@Notaroadrunner lol this is what my husband says so maybe I should listen!

@Starlight39 yeah I think that's what I am going to do now. Not bother. They are suppose to help me with aspects of my workload but it's really not worth the hassle .... if they were on the ball it would have been fantastic to have the help.

OP,

I think you need to protect yourself completely here.

Make notes of EVERYTHING.

Your boss has absolutely no right to critique your character.

He may not realise this is what he is doing fully but you need to pull back massively and note everything.

Protect yourself.
Start looking for a job but it sounds as if you are being forced out and being bullied by your boss for the failures of this person.

Get some good advice on how to proceed but YANBU.

Op i had this exact thing happen. Months of it, me going home in a rage, taking over my own life. My boss just kept shrugging it off and blaming covid (I was in the office with her for gods sake). I was so bloody angry. I had detailed lists of the ridiculous stupid pointless lazy mistakes, lack of thinking, not listening to anything i said, rushing through so they would look amazing, going rogue with customers. STILL she was defended. We even have a HR dept that did nothing either. I even sent a lovely email about what I thought she would be good at (talking bullshit was her best quality but didn't obviously say it like that). She even needed to be told details like paragraphs, where to put a full stop, spelling. She didn't have SN

I ended up stripping them of every single bit of work, it was a massive effort to get in before she got to it and for me to move things around Exhausting. She sat there doing nothing eventually. My Manager kept asking me to give her work. I refused and kept resending the mistakes and the list of impact it had on us. Just kept repeating the same bloody thing.

She.was eventually moved to another department. I love my job and refused to leave because of it.

Anyway just to sympathise. The RELIEF I feel now is huge

From what you say there seems to be more at play than a new person messing up. Perhaps the new person has some sort of issue or has threatened to take them to tribunal or perhaps your manager knows them or their family outside work.

As it's a small company and you've been explicit and taken it as high as you can go (as there is only 20 ppl) but you've been ignored then I think I'd be looking for another job. Think about what you want and make the most of another role, perhaps using it as a way to try to get promotion or something you want (flexible time etc) rather than just to escape the new person. Good luck!

@PlanDeRaccordement yes microscope it very much is keep quiet and search i think is my last option as this can't carry on....

@MichelleScarn very much lose lose. Driving me mad !

@billy1966 thank you billy .. I definetely think there is lined crossed and going to get worse. Time to get out ..

@Curbaisti you have described my daily struggle. It's difficult isn't it??? I am happy for you that they got moved I wonder how the new department coped! You start questioning yourself sometimes don't you but then I look at the facts and deep down I truly know it's not me.

@Notaroadrunner

I'd be looking for another job. I couldn't be arsed with this game playing. Whatever the reason, it is not acceptable that you are left doing more work because of this colleagues lack of ability to do basic tasks. And if you do get another job, give your notice and do fuck all work while waiting to leave. Assign it all to this colleague, let them fuck it up, let your manager have to clean up the mess while you laugh your way out the door.

Yep. I agree with this. Make damn sure they know why you’re leaving.

I think the fact that your manager was frustrated but made a sudden u turn strongly suggests that the employee has disclosed a disability, possibly ADHD, MH, epilepsy medication or something similar that affects their cognitive process. This would fit in with clear instructions and reminders.

Being a small company your manager may not know how to manage this properly and has made adjustments but is not dealing with how those adjustments affect you or whether they are reasonable. Blaming you is easier than dealing with the employee (for your manager)

Lack of understanding of the equality act can panic employers and they are afraid to performance manage the person as they believe it will be disability discrimination.

You need to have a meeting, your manager can’t disclose but he needs to understand the full impact of him criticising you rather than facing the issue.

OP can you take sick leave because of stress or annual leave and more or less leave this other worker to sink or swim. Alternatively tell your boss there is a conflict of personalities and you just cannot work with this person and can he be reassigned to another job.

@Curbaisti - I had exactly the same. Honestly! I’ve ever known anyone make so many utterly stupid and pointless mistakes. It really was easier to do things myself. Didn’t help that she believe the sun shone out of her backside and talked the talk when she needed to but with nothing to back it up. I rejoiced the day she was moved on (pity her new department tho! Boss was similarly weak and absolutely failed to manage her.

but to be told if I give any task to him , no matter how small I have to set up in there calendar , remind, give very detailed instructions

Yeah fuck that. What is the point of him being there?

In instances like this I think if there is a hidden disability the team need to know, because it impacts them and the work they are expected to cover where needed.

Even if the employee has suddenly disclosed some MH issue or whatever they are supposed to do the job they have been engaged to do. The company is obliged to make reasonable adjustments to enable this, but that does not include other people who are managing them making reminders for them

OP i feel your pain. I've had similar but it was nepotism so i was on a hiding to nothing. I handed over one thing at a time and i didn't give them anything else until it was done satisfactorily. I had ensured there was a thorough job description for everyone in the team, and luckily 6 months before they were taken on, had got everyone to make a handbook of their tasks (daily, weekly, monthly, projects, contacts etc etc). So eventually it became clear that they weren't doing the job they were paid to, and 5 our of 10 of us left, giving their lack of performance as a reason.

The company went under about a year later, unfortunately.

Find a new job. Tell them why in your exit interview. In the meantime research raising a grievance and consider starting a grievance process. As a small family business they will have to seek outside advice. Putting you in a shitty position is one thing but blaming you too is bullying and you have nowhere to go. Make your leaving as difficult as possible for them!

I would tell your manager, " I am effectively doing two jobs, my own job, plus the other persons job, and getting blamed for their problems which I can't change. . This is not sustainable. If it continues I will hand in my notice at the end of June".

My first thought when reading this was that maybe he has some kind of hidden disability that only your manager knows about at that adjustments are being made. Otherwise how on earth did he pass probation unless it was to do with covid and them not feeling he had had enough training or supervision.
I have a colleague who two years after taking the role still does not seem to have grasped basic essential stuff to do the role properly. he was given the job on the sixth attempt at interviewing and I honestly think the manager feels she has invested so much in him that she can't now lwt him go !

Thanks everyone ! I feel better that it's not me

[quote SheepyLamb2]@billy1966 thank you billy .. I definetely think there is lined crossed and going to get worse. Time to get out ..

@Curbaisti you have described my daily struggle. It's difficult isn't it??? I am happy for you that they got moved I wonder how the new department coped! You start questioning yourself sometimes don't you but then I look at the facts and deep down I truly know it's not me.[/quote]
She ended up in an area where you just do the 1 thing over and over, copy and paste. Perfect for her. Good luck op I absolutely feel your pain still brings me out in a rash

Making reasonable adjustments is not what they are doing. So they are treading on thin ice with both of you. Are you sure you can’t go higher?
They’ll lose you and probably end up with a disability discrimination against them too.
This is being badly managed all round

@Lettuceforlunch that's it, sun shone out of her arae. Why?? Such brutal.weak Management. And they STILL don't fully believe me. She talks such crap. Anyway head held high hey

@Notaroadrunner

I'd be looking for another job. I couldn't be arsed with this game playing. Whatever the reason, it is not acceptable that you are left doing more work because of this colleagues lack of ability to do basic tasks. And if you do get another job, give your notice and do fuck all work while waiting to leave. Assign it all to this colleague, let them fuck it up, let your manager have to clean up the mess while you laugh your way out the door.

This in spades.

I spent a long time struggling to undetstand and help people like this until i realised.... These people aren't struggling or feeling bad. Only I am struggling and feeling bad while trying to help them do their jobs... They are happily pootling along, sleeping like a baby and happy as larry doing sweet FA while everyone runs around them trying to do their job for them.