To say this is rude?

[PiedPiper558]

Replying with 'what?' when you have not heard what someone has said.

@PiedPiper558 What would you prefer?

Pardon?

Sorry?

Eh?

Can't say someone saying 'what' bothers me tbh.

@devilboughtmysoul

Oh Lordy threads like this make me cringe. The whole pardon and what and upper and lower class. Eurgh I couldn’t care less.

I hate this too. When people say 'it's a class thing.'

And the people who say this ALWAYS claim to be middle class/upper middle class.

I have a friend who says 'again please' which I think is an excellent way to put it, to the point but without the female specialism of unneeded apology.

I generally say "Sorry, what?" because I cannot physically bring myself to say pardon

Within the family we say "Say again?" which also works.

Lower or upper class, it still IS rude. That's the beauty of manners, they don't change depending on your class .

Who says "what?" in an interview for example? No one...

@tattleandbagels

Lower or upper class, it still IS rude. That's the beauty of manners, they don't change depending on your class .

Who says "what?" in an interview for example? No one...

But manners say "what" is the correct term. At the very least it makes sense. What does pardon even mean in the context of not hearing something?

@nokia3210567

Pardon, excuse me or sorry with an inflection are politer

All very lower middle class.

'What' is correct

All very lower middle class.

What’s wrong with that? If you are lower middle or working class, what’s wrong with using the language you were brought up with? Why is it better or superior to a) be upper middle or upper class in the first place or b) use language associated with another class which isn’t your own?

@UhtredRagnarson
It could become rather like the Que? What?exchange in Fawlty Towers.
People who fuss about this are a pain.

Op started this by saying that "what" was rude. No one needed to say that "pardon" was wrong until op called us rude.

I said "what?" to ex -partner (about 2 days after a traumatic delivery) because he was mumbling and I genuinely couldn't hear what he was saying, he replied with "do you want me to slap you whilst I'm holding my son?" Fucked me right up, that. tea lady found me in tears. This thread reminded me of it, it's not rude if it is not delivered in a rude manner. Don't overreact.

[quote ButtercupSquash]@UhtredRagnarson
It could become rather like the Que? What?exchange in Fawlty Towers.
People who fuss about this are a pain.[/quote]
yes, I think I’d quite enjoy it.

Isn't pardon something you say to excuse yourself more in the context of 'Pardon me'?

@Bbq1

Isn't pardon something you say to excuse yourself more in the context of 'Pardon me'?

Yes.

@UCOinanOCG

'What' is the correct response and it not rude at all.

This. ‘Pardon’ makes me think of Mrs Bucket trying to be ‘posh’

@TwoAndAnOnion yes! We were taught to say ‘what?’ Also - we would have been corrected if we had said ‘pardon?’

It certainly has been considered a class thing in the past. Taking that view these days that frankly makes you look like a ridiculously old-fashioned snob. But that doesn't for a moment mean that we automatically all have to start saying 'pardon' and agree that 'what' is rude. As long as they are said in a polite tone, 'what' 'pardon', 'sorry' etc are all fine imo. People just like policing others' use of language to score points, unfortunately. Snob points, inverse snob points, parenting points... all equally irritating.

@redheadwitch

Well, the "proper" response would be "pardon?" so in that respect, then yes, "what?" is technically rude. Its not something I could get steamed up about, though.

I think it very much comes down to the scenario its being said and the tone. For instance, if I was having an important medical consultation and the Dr said "what?" in a snippy tone, it would come across as rude. If a doctor was chatting to a colleague at the nurses station and misheard a comment and said "what?" it would simply be colloquial speech.

Only if they were working or middle class.

Isn't pardon something you say to excuse yourself more in the context of 'Pardon me'?

No, as you must surely be aware, since it has been used in the same way as 'what?' for aeons. It was presumably originally a shortening of "I beg your pardon?". When people mean 'pardon me', they tend to say 'pardon me' in my experience.

I’ve taught mine not to say pardon. I read too much Nancy Mitford in my teens

@tattleandbagels

I don't know any parent who doesn't correct their child when they reply with "what"

and it definitively sound rude if said to a teacher.

If your boss says "what?" to you, I bet you wouldn't like it so much either.

It might be regional, but as far as I know, YANBU, it IS rude.

Ah, we always corrected our children if they tried to say “Pardon” having been advised to do so by a TA. They aren’t a president or Pope. They are not, nor have ever been in a position to issue a pardon.

I think I’d roll of my chair laughing if my manager said Pardon to me.

Not quite as awful as “Pardon me” though.

Off not of

I say "you wha" so definitely rude 🤣🤣 only to people I'm comfortable with though

I don't know any parent who doesn't correct their child when they reply with "what" and it definitively sound rude if said to a teacher

I have never corrected my dc to say pardon. And I am a teacher.