To sell wedding and engagement rings?

[Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme]

I left ExH ten months ago after a very unhappy marriage - with lots of help and support from lovely people on Mumsnet and a few in RL. this question is about money. I had to borrow 4000 to move , have paid back 1600. I have no means of credit ( DH had a gambling , drugs and alcohol issue ) and , although I work and have been managing fine , myself and the two DC are living month to month. We manage , and I have been trying to squirrel away a bit each month for Christmas(currently standing at £130) I have had a huge essential car bill for 400 which has basically wiped out my grocery bill for the month . I cannot earn any more due to childcare , I have no means to borrow. The only asset I have is my wedding and engagement rings. I have had three valuations , highest is a commission , lowest is £500 for both.
My question is , even though my marriage was not the best and I have no daughters to pass then down to , AIBU to sell them ? No doubt we need the money , but I feel a tug in my stomach . I always imagined one day I would sell them and put the money towards something fun for us like a small holiday , not essential car maintenance. AIBU to use them now ?
(For context , ExDH still has his but lives with new partner and it hasn't been an issue for him )

Oh sell.them. Really why would you want to keep them? Another bridge burned as well . Sorry things are so hard for you x

Sell them without a doubt. It is sad and I'm sorry that your marriage turned out this way xx

Definitely sell them.

Is ex paying maintenance? If not, contact CMS.

I would in a heartbeat, I think it's nice to pass rings down if it's been a long and happy marriage as they have sentimental value for the child and they're a reminder of their parents' love. I've never understood it when the relationship fails, they're a reminder that things didn't work out and of all of the unhappy memories from that time.
You need food more than you need the rings.

Sell them. Even if you don’t need the money this minute, you’d be better off with a bit of a buffer.

I’d sell them. My mum gave me hers. They unhappily divorced when I was a kid. The rings sit in a drawer in my spare bedroom.

Thank you all so so much for quick responses ! KingdomScrolls- exactly what I was thinking to be honest , I just know he will give me grief for doing it, and I wanted to check I wasn't being unreasonable. TestingTestingWonTooFree if I could wait and manage I would but it has now become very pressing . They are my only safety net , and that's why I think I am wobblibg just a bit. There is no sentimentality , only sadness.l for the marriage - never regret though. But it's this or a payday loan which is a horrific thought. mainsfed- he is where he can , how we has no job currently.

bookish83 and flapjackfairy thank you x
OloBo - okay that does put it in perspective. Thank you xx

I sold mine when I moved out as I needed the money. Didn't even mention it to ex.

he is where he can, how we has no job currently

Not sure what this means but it sounds like you need the cash-I wouldn’t hesitate to sell. Don’t tell him, if you don’t want to hear his ‘opinion’ about it-they could be in a drawer for all he knows.

Apologies - I meant he is currently out of work and pays what he can . I have had my hours dropped since lockdown lifting so it's been a bit difficult. It's a good point mabelface- could just not mention it at all to him at all. Did you ever regret it ?

Not sure what the bill was for but where I live you can get interest free loans for essential household items eg washing machine through a charity.

Worth speaking to CAB about whether there is anything similar??

Ok - that is something I didn't know - sounds like an option and definitely worth looking into . Thank you xxx

Why would he need to know you've sold them? Nothing to do with him or anyone else.

Sell them; I hope you get a decent amount for them.

I think even after time has passed, some inherent behaviours from the marriage linger. Initially I was relieved and exhilarated , and some of the more insidious behaviours have only now started to crop up . Like risk assessing , moderating my behaviour from guilt , feeling responsible etc . I now realize some things are going to take a bit longer to shake . One of them is trying not to upset him ....selling the rings he bought is going to upset him I know x

Those feelings will stay with you but he really does not need to know anything about your life bar the dc's now.
Hope you get a good price, get them valued separately aswell incase joint price is less. If the value is too low at the moment you could consider pawning them?
Remember he got you into this financial mess so has zero right to an opinion on how you get out of it

I'd definitely sell them and get a few different valuations to make sure that you've got a good rate. I wouldn't even tell him.

Could you talk to your bank for some help? I'm guessing you're registered at the food bank etc?

Tereseta thank you - good to know the way I am feeling is normal . I hadn't actually thought about pawning - my budget is so tight I think I would struggle to get the money together to get them back. I am already paying as much as I can off of the moving debt . But will have a look at that option too thank you xx Jokieyes the bank are the first people I spoke to to ask for an overdraft - I have been with them five years but because of my IVA which finishes in November they cannot help me. I haven't registered with a food bank - we have managed so far but I may look into that if needed for sure. Once this month is done we should be ok - I just run a rather close ship and a big bill like this car bill has thrown me off completely. That is life I suppose x

I would try and sell yourself online even eBay - you are likely to get more than by selling to a secondhand jewellers

Maybe the feeling is too raw still. I would wait a bit just to make sure I wouldn't regret it later.

As long as you can afford not to, I mean

£500 for secondhand rings is a lot! Usually you’d only get the weight of whatever metal they are made from. Do it.

Sell them. Use the money to pay your bills. But remember how much you got for them. Finances won’t always be this tight. When you are in a better place, with decent savings, remember that you owe yourself that amount of money, and put it towards something meaningful to you without guilt.

I just know he will give me grief for doing it

Don’t tell him, it’s none of his business. Flog them to whoever will give you most money and move on.