To put dsc in 'dry nites'

[WashingFairyRequired]

Dsc 9 has started to wet the bed again after being dry a while.
Says they do at home too then gets to sleep with mummy.

Spoke to their dm who says they do not wet at home. (why would a child say this if they don't) and is detailed as in what happens. Ie. Wets, gets changed. Gets in with mummy. Likes sleeping with mummy. Mummy changes bed the next morning or after work.

I know it can't be helped and we want to find a way to help. However until we can take her to a GP ( her dm won't so it'll have to wait till half term)

Would it be unreasonable to buy the nappy pants night things someone else suggested.
When wets it's distribs Dd. It's not just a sheet it's the protector, duvet, cover and often the pillow too!

Only drinks water. Not gallons either. Toilet before bed. No late drinks. Says everything is OK at school etc.

I feel bad thinking of getting the dry nites. However it's exhausting having to strip it all off in the middle of the night. Dd got woken and has now been unsettled for 2 hours. She has pre school tomorrow so has to be up and out early.

Would this be a SHORT term solution or would it be cruel

Yanbu. Use them
Yabu don't use them

With your update, I’m wondering if there are some undiagnosed additional needs.
My son has autism and won’t have any food with flavour, he also has sensory issues.
He only eats 1 Pepperami and 1 apple most days.

I agree with YoYo - ask her what she wants to do, she needs to feel she has some agency in this.

I wet the bed regularly into my teens (undiagnosed additional needs and also some physical health issues) and I much preferred dry nites to the sensation of waking up with wet bedding. I also found it easier to self manage without waking my parents that way and felt less self-conscious.

My parents dealt with it very well, never showed frustration and I was always very aware it wasn't my fault, I just had a dodgy bladder.

The difference was that I wet the bed pretty much every night for years and it gradually eased off and became less frequent over time. I never had a substantial period of not wetting the bed and then restarting.

I would be taking her to the GP asap to check for a cause. Something may be bothering her and causing her to wet again, or it could be something simple like a UTI or constipation.

Ok so it sounds like not as new a problem as you thought, which is great news in terms of her wellbeing. Still need GP evaluation IMO.

The pattern sounds normal for wetting to me. It tends to be you have bad weeks and good weeks rather than one wet bed per week.

Dark is actually quite important, it stimulates the production of melatonin so if she likes dark stick with that. When you need more light to change the bed, try putting on the light in another room and leaving doors open. Much less disruptive for other DD than waving torches about.

Constipation can be easily helped with something like movicol from the GP. It's very unreactive and safe for DC to take. It's not particularly pleasant to take but likely to be much easier than eating loads of veg, for her. Keep daytime drinking up until teatime. We found moving the evening meal to earlier helped a lot too.

I speak from experience on this subject, both of my own growing up and of both DD’s.

You’ve already mentioned that she only drinks water, so I can’t give you my standard advice about avoiding artificial sweeteners, cordials and blackcurrent juice in particular (stopping those was our miracle cure, you see!)

My perspective is this:

HAVE THE CONVERSATION WITH HER.

Some points to consider:

1. DryNites go up to age 15 for a reason. The condition is common enough in older kids and teenagers for there to be a market for these things.

1. Explain to her that they are made for her age because it happens to a lot of kids her age.

1. Ask her if she wants to try wearing them. I

1. If she doesn’t want to wear them respect that.

1. If she doesn’t want to wear them, offer a different solution such as an absorbent sheet.

1. Don’t mention the word “nappy” or “nappies”.

1. Make it clear that suggesting them is not a punishment, but something to help her (and everyone else) get a good night’s sleep.

I was a bedwetter into secondary school. Unfortunately in the 80s there were no such things as DryNites or Pull-Ups so my parents (who were cool with this at a time when many kids still got punished or humiliated for bedwetting), bought me specialist “Child Size” giant disposable nappies that could only be bought from Chemists shops.

Past the age of around 4 or 5 I wasn’t “made” to wear them. I was given the option. I chose to continue to wear them because, although it was a bit embarrassing, it meant I got a good night’s sleep.

We would try without the nappies every few months. Eventually I grew out of it (though I was a Ribena junkie and no-one made the connection, so I suspect I might have stopped sooner had I/they known).

When both DD’s turned out to be bedwetters too, I got them the DryNites after they outgrew training pants. They weren’t embarrassed by them.

Switching to just water and milk cured both of them virtually overnight and we haven’t looked back.

Agree with the worming.

And get disposable bed matts maybe? Then make her bed twice. So when she pees you can just take one layer off.

So:
Mattress
Bedmatt
Sheet
Bedmatt
Sheet.

It is not advised but I'd wake her walk her to the bathroom mid sleep at that age.
I believe it can be a hormonal issue or anxiety or attention seeking, if she is fast asleep I doubt it is attention.
Get DH to discuss the situation with her DM.

I think DH needs to discuss this with his Ex.

This needs a unified response between households

She eats differently and is sleeping differently at your home.
Reading between the lines your comments on her sleep pattern and eating at her DM's aren't great? Is she be feeling judged and self conscious in your home?
Do you discuss her issues openly? Do you generally get on? Is she happy with new sister?

www.amazon.co.uk/Wet-Stop-Bedwetting-Enuresis-Vibration-Moisture/dp/B006B8U8BG/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?hvlocphy=9041122&hvnetw=g&keywords=bedwetting+alarm&hvadid=445699467575&qid=1621880361&dchild=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwna2FBhDPARIsACAEc_VxzknYyO6mFPrOrmO7IcQx-Gt2VCSVL4NdqRwgXaCHINqFsjQKTv8aAvH1EALw_wcB&hvlocint=9046644&hydadcr=16907_1745142&hvdev=m&hvqmt=e&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=kwd-117228780&adgrpid=103368740573&hvrand=18186615670188117830&sr=8-3

Try this for the bedwetting - not cheap but not too dear.

Ask her how often she poos and whether it's hard. If she's constipated she might need something like fybogel to help get back to a regular rhythm (she should be going every day, every other day at a push).

We have 5tog summer duvets here in the summer and a fleece blanket on chilly nights. They machine wash and tumble dry quickly so personally id do the bed mats and have two duvets. Just swap as needed and wash with sheet the next day. I honestly think some kids just take longer to be dry at night for whatever reason and you need to keep it simple but don’t make her feel like a baby in nappies. I was a childhood bed wetter so wasn’t surprised when my dc turned out to be. No fuss or drama, sometimes accidents happen just sheet off, new duvet on and back in bed.

That way if she’s doing it for attention she’s not being rewarded and if it’s genuinely something she can’t help, you’re not making her feel bad. She will grow out of it at some point and at 9 she’s possibly old enough to sort her own bed out without disturbing you.

I meant to add, the bladder can be affected by constipation. When the bowel gets overloaded with poo, it stretches and pushes against the bladder. This pushing distorts the bladder and makes it difficult to empty properly.

Leftover wee in the bladder can cause urinary tract infections (UTIs). The squashing of the bladder also reduces the storage space for urine and can cause the sensation of needing to wee frequently and urgently. Both these can lead to daytime and nighttime wetting problems.

So if she barely eats any fibre, that could be the issue.

@WashingFairyRequired

Sorry he is getting yo and doing it. We have to do by torch light as dd wakes so it's kind of a 2 person job.

The bed mats are a good idea but EVERY time is the duvet. Duvet cover the lot. And often even up to the pillow.

joizi.co.uk/collections/peapodmats/products/peadpodmats-medium-washable-bed-pads

This are easily washed.

I recommend using one of these and then a blanket to put over him that you can easily throw in the wash.

Do you say he was 9? I would be worried about any underlying emotional issues. Sexual/verbal/physical abuse has to be ruled out whether in the classroom or any hobbies he does. A bit worrying really.

Hugs x