To put dsc in 'dry nites'

[WashingFairyRequired]

Dsc 9 has started to wet the bed again after being dry a while.
Says they do at home too then gets to sleep with mummy.

Spoke to their dm who says they do not wet at home. (why would a child say this if they don't) and is detailed as in what happens. Ie. Wets, gets changed. Gets in with mummy. Likes sleeping with mummy. Mummy changes bed the next morning or after work.

I know it can't be helped and we want to find a way to help. However until we can take her to a GP ( her dm won't so it'll have to wait till half term)

Would it be unreasonable to buy the nappy pants night things someone else suggested.
When wets it's distribs Dd. It's not just a sheet it's the protector, duvet, cover and often the pillow too!

Only drinks water. Not gallons either. Toilet before bed. No late drinks. Says everything is OK at school etc.

I feel bad thinking of getting the dry nites. However it's exhausting having to strip it all off in the middle of the night. Dd got woken and has now been unsettled for 2 hours. She has pre school tomorrow so has to be up and out early.

Would this be a SHORT term solution or would it be cruel

Yanbu. Use them
Yabu don't use them

No sign of uti

Doesn't drink in the evening

Wees before bed

Yes he is going to call the GP today.

Get a washable duvet with cover where you wash the whole thing and layer bottom sheets. Then just throw a clean duvet over them and strip off one layer of the bed.

You shouldn’t need the two of you - put a nightlight in her room.

Is this an otherwise NT 9 year old or have I read this wrong? If your DSC has been dry for many years and this bed wetting is a new thing then definitely GP and ask the kid about the bed pants. My DD would be mortified about suddenly wetting the bed and would work with me to find a good solution until we could get to bottom of what’s causing it. You can’t really just apply bed pants to a NT 9 year old without a discussion first!

I think YABU. At 9 it can be embarrassing to wet the bed, don't make it worse by basically putting them in nappies. My dsd 's mum did this and it made everyone take 3 steps back instead of helping. Just keep a spare blanket/duvet and pillow folded in the corner of the room so all you need to change is the sheet , mat and pj's. There's a number of reasons they could be having accidents at this age, you need to find the cause not put her in dry nights imo.

We don't have a night light unfortunately as they sleep in pitch black. Even a night light keeps them awake -

I think reintroducing nappies to a 9 year old would be really humiliating.

Bed mats are more feasible.

It sounds like you think she is doing it deliberately because she likes sleeping with her mum. It's much more likely to be a medical issue.

@WashingFairyRequired

We don't have a night light unfortunately as they sleep in pitch black. Even a night light keeps them awake -

We have plug in nightlights with a PIR which only come on when you move close to them. This will help you. They were 2 for £12 at a diy store. Off topic in a way but might help make the nights easier.

@Stompythedinosaur

I think reintroducing nappies to a 9 year old would be really humiliating.

Bed mats are more feasible.

It sounds like you think she is doing it deliberately because she likes sleeping with her mum. It's much more likely to be a medical issue.

I wondered if this was the OPs implication too, but I think that if the problem has persisted despite OP and her husband NOT taking the child into their bed, then it’s much more likely to be medical than behavioural - at 9, I doubt the child would persist in doing this deliberately, unless she is scared or lonely at night and enjoying the attention.

Ruling out medical causes first seems the right thing to do. If there’s then proven to be no medical reason, that’s the time to explore the behavioural element. But not first.

Is this child 9? It’s just you mentioned pre school as well?
I think at let school age, yes, put them in nappies for a bit if bed mats won’t cut it, but maybe put some knickers on under nappy so they won’t get used to the feeling of a nappy at night. If they are 9, then this needs a GP literally now- could be constipation, UTI, or something else more complex and needs investigation. And no - don’t put egg in nappies! Not at 9!!!!

...Pre not let

I wet the bed occasionally til I was 7/8.

I would have LOVED to have had dry nites.

Waking up in sopping sheets with my poor parents having to strip the bed and all the palaver was humiliating.

There was no reason for me doing it other than physiological as far as I'm aware.

Once I stopped, I stopped.

Ask the child what they want to do if you can. If it were me I'd have jumped at the chance of a secure night's sleep without disturbing anyone else.

You can still talk to gp about it meanwhile if you're concerned about other causes.

At 9 you shouldn't force her, she needs some sense of autonomy or it's humiliating. Give her other options, Eg a fleece blanket under a light duvet will feel cosy and will save the duvet. See Eric website for ideas of other solutions, Eg fabric wee-containing PJ shorts but they cost a fortune. Ideally bedding she can strip off herself - doing the double layering if sheets and swapping to a blanket makes this much easier, so you can work towards her doing it herself (which she may well prefer if the idea comes from her). Mine would go to bed with a duvet but replace it with a massive cost fleece blanket in the night for ease.

Always 2 wees at bedtime, last one right before she goes to sleep. How does it work with her sharing the room, does she get to stay up later than DD and is her bedtime late enough that she can go straight to sleep?

However, absolutely GP first as something like constipation or a UTI is much more likely than behavioural at 9.

*massive cosy fleece blanket

Not sure how quite to word this but sudden bedwetting could be a sign she's being abused. M

Get DH to speak to GP now especially as UTI not always obvious. The school nurse can very helpful with continence issues after a UTI has been ruled out. Again try by phone initially.

I’d never even heard of pin worms before I joined Mumsnet. No one in my family has ever had them, odd to say children should be wormed regularly!

@WashingFairyRequired my son wet until he was quite old, he really didn’t want dry nites as he was embarrassed.

I’d say make up the bed in layers with mattress protector, puppy pads are cheaper than the human ones I believe, then sheet. Double it up. Use fleecy blankets instead of a duvet as they’re warm and wash really easily. Don’t comment on it too much but do get her to put her stuff in the washing machine in the morning.

But also do ask her if she would like them.

I really would avoid putting a 9 year old back in what are essentially night nappies. She will be painfully aware of what they are and it will batter her self confidence, and probably make the issue worse. You also remove the physical sensation of wetness that acts as important feedback to her body to learn to wake up to wee at night. It wont help her, it will only mean there's less faff for you to clean up.

Check for urinary infections & worms.
Maybe try a bed wetting alarm, or simply go and wake her for a wee at 10pm

If an 11 year old has just started bed wetting I don’t think her father should be waiting until half term to take her to the doctors.

Agreed fitforforty

I'd be quite concerned about a 9 year old (presumably dry at night for years) suddenly routinely bed wetting again.

It sounds like you think it’s psychological rather than physical, OP? Although I wouldn’t put too much weight on her version of events at home as she might be ashamed or misremembering things.

At 9 yo you can involve her in how you plan for accidents whilst you get to the bottom of the cause. I think a pair of heavy-flow period pants would be more comfortable and grown up than pull ups. If you combine this with a double-sheet system she can probably be taught to manage it herself, or at the very least with help from just DH. Another advantage of using period pants is that they’ll limit the damage whilst still providing feedback that her bladder has emptied. The overnight boy shorts style ones are best. They’re pricey, but you should be able to make do with one pair if you don’t mind a quick turnaround.

Finally, consider a very dimmed red-toned night light which may be less likely to wake your other child.

I’d worry she’ll feel humiliated, so she needs to be involved in the conversation.

What time does she go to bed, and what time does she wet the bed? It sounds like the before bed night-time wee isn’t enough, so could you encourage 1) a wee before stories/beginning of bedtime routine 2) a ‘final wee’ before tuck in (my eldest child needed the double-elimination for a long time and still does now, often waking 45-1 hour after dropping off needing to go again. Then 3) wake her when you & DP go to bed for another wee.

I’d try all this and swap to light duvet/fleece blankets/double bed layers/sleeping bag unzipped etc.

But does she not feel equally humiliated waking up in a wet bed? But I agree she needs to be involved in the conversation.

I also think it would be a good idea to take her for a final wee before you go to bed. Additionally, could the pitch dark bedroom and fear of waking your DD be part of the problem as, if she does need to wee in the night, it acts as a deterrent to getting up and going. I think a very dim nightlight may be worth a try.

But does she not feel equally humiliated waking up in a wet bed?

Many children sleep through wetting the bed. It's common in deep sleepers. We go and check our son to lift him for a wee, on occasion he has already wet the bed. We can clean him up and change the bed and he barely wakes, he is oblivious. He requested not to wear pull ups any more, as he associates them with his baby sister.

Thanks for the replies and tips.
She doesn't generalise what's happened at her dms.
She'll say I wet, Wed and Thursday this week.
Or the next time we'll ask of all been olnand dry and she'll say for example I wet last night.

When she was about 5. It was every night pretty much. She saw a specialist who said its one of them things.

Would have the odd one after but now it's regular again.

She likes to sleep in the dark and used to get up to the loo.

Constipation could be a possibility as she's really really hard to get to eat any vegetables and fruit. Shed have a very carb diet if she had her way. We encourage healthy eating. But going by what she says at home the only veg she has is a Sunday and has sweetcorn. But I don't know how true that is. I can only go by what she says
I know her lunchbox from dm is.
Sausage roll or bagel
Crisps.
Mini cake bar or something
Youghurt
Biscuit.
Cocktail sausages.

We put lots of fruit in but don't know whether she eats it unfortunately.

Don't get me wrong she'll also have bagel or sandwich, crisps in her box from here. I don't want to make it out that her dm gives a really poor lunch. I'm stating a fact.
She wouldn't eat half of what the other dcs eat unfortunately so if not she'd go hungry
Even tried school meals and she wouldn't touch most of it when it has veg or 'flavour' ie. Curry etc. Only eat if fish and chip day or pizza day.