To not do extra curricular activities for a 5 year old?

[Mollylikestodance]

We have two dcs - one age 5 in Reception, and a little one still in nursery. For our 5 year old we don't do any extra curricular activities. AIBU?

It seems that most of her class do tennis/football/drama/a faith school/music/something once or twice a week.... and we just... don't!

We both work - my DH full time and me 4 days. So she's in after school club at her school 4 days which makes week nights impossible.
On the day she's not, I wouldn't want to tie ourselves down to a planned activity as we go to the park with friends/have play dates etc.

At the weekends, we are very very active - we love family days out to farms, zoos, museums, attractions etc. and will do that at least one of the days. The other weekend day we will see friends, family, go to the park, go out to eat. In the holidays we go away a lot. I feel like at the moment the kids are so young they benefit more from this than being tied to a schedule of classes?

What's normal? We are starting to feel bad that she's one of the minority of children not doing all of these extra classes and courses - but surely there's so much time for that in a couple of years..?

AIBU?

I think every child should learn to swim....

Sorry - I should say - she had swimming lessons for a while and now we do that as a family too.

I'm shocked at how many classes and clubs kids do from such a young age these days, I saw a facebook post recently of someone asking for dance classes for a 1 year old who couldn't even walk yet!! I think some people have forgotten how to entertain/occupy their own kids.

I agree with @SweepTheHalls It's much easier to learn when you're the same age as the other beginners.

Does she want to do an activity? My 8 year old didn't do any extras until he turned 7 and wanted to do Beavers. My 5 nearly 6 year old asked to do football so she does that now. It does tie us down each Sunday morning but she is absolutely thriving there and it has boosted her confidence in other areas too.

Nothing wrong with you at all. She has tons of time to find and try activities she may want to do.

I think there's a balance between over-scheduling and not providing opportunities to enjoy hobbies and activities that are not available at school.

Having said that, I don't think you need to worry about that quite yet as your dc is only 5.

At that age I'd be thinking about swimming lessons, and looking again at 7-8 for extra-curriculars that allow her to make friends independently of school.

My five year old has just started needing a 'thing' of their own, like swimming or tennis. This has been a recurring theme for mine at this age as it seems they need an activity to call their own. I don't think they need it for any other reason as I, like you, do all the needful in other ways

My DD is 4 (starting school this year) and does ballet and will start swimming lessons in September. She does ballet at 9am on a Saturday so we don’t find it interrupts our weekend much. It seems quite 50:50 in her nursery friends about whether they do extra curricular activities

Just to answer @TheGumption no she doesn't 😂 we have suggested she joins this friend/that friend at such and such club, but she really shows no desire at all. Which is why also I don't want to 'push' her.

I'm hoping that when she's 6/7 she will show an interest in joining something!

What do/did you all do at this age with your kids?

Dd4 does swimming lessons and her sister who is 7 does swimming midweek and Italian (which is DH’s 1st language) on a sat morning.
That’s more than enough for now.

Agree on the swimming lesson - we waited until DD was 4 to learn to swim and regret it as she's still very behind her classmates now she is 5.

We are the same in that both work full time and have done since she was 20 weeks so unable to join a lot of clubs like baby swimming as they never have weekend lessons or lessons during school holidays

She did go to ballet for a bit but doesn't want to go back now she has had a year off due to them being closed due to lockdown

There are huge waiting lists for every other kind of club like football and outrageous prices (£30/mth for a Saturday morning 30 mins footie club!)

I'd recommend just searching around even if you have to travel a bit further for clubs that are early in the morning. We now do a swimming lesson at 8am on a Sunday (no lie ins for us then!) and waiting for a Saturday morning reasonably priced footie club to start - again at 9 ish so doesn't wipe out the whole weekend

Both situations sound normal. DS’ best friend does cricket one weekend morning, rugby the other (crossover with seasons at the mo) and then football after school one day. DS just does swimming lessons sat morning (essential life skill IMO) and one sport club one day after school. Leaves us lots of time for play dates and chilling after school. My nieces are in breakfast and after school clubs every day of the week. All normal!

You aren't unreasonable not to do the clubs but as you said she is in afterschool club most of the week which is keeping her entertained. Other parents are just trying to keep their kids entertained after school while learning a skill at the same time, there's nothing wrong with that either

I guess it depends on the kind of child you have. My DCs are both very active and physical, so we do activities that help them us that energy. My youngest did gymnastics once a week in reception, and I think started football either at the end of reception or in year 1, my younger DC had to come along to the footy session anyway, so when he started to show an interest we signed him up.
I was very wary about committing to weekly weekend activities for a good while,so we did quite a lot of drop in stuff. With swimming, we've mainly done holiday intensive classes as the thought of weekly swimming lessons make me want to cry but I absolutely wanted my DCs to learn to swim.

Your DCs will probably start to show an interest in some kind of activities at some point, maybe something their friends do, or something they've tried in school. That's the time to get them signed up.

At 5 my DD only really did swimming - she tried a dance class (at the school) but didn’t get on with it so we left it at that.

In Year 1 she took up piano (taught at school in school time) and tried out a cheerleading class after school which she stuck with for a while but when the first lockdown happened last year she decided she didn’t want to go back.

Now, coming to the end of Year 2, she still swims but has added Rainbows and martial arts into the after school mix and also does French on Saturdays.

DS starts school this coming September, to start with the only after school activity he will do is swimming. He’s just got a place at RugbyTots on a Saturday so we’ll see how that goes. My intention is for no other after school activities for DS until the Spring Term so that he has time to adjust to being at school. He wants to try martial arts like his big sister so that will probably be our first port of call.

It depends entirely on the child.

My almost six year old has been doing dance, swimming and rugby tots since he was three. I only work part time and I do short days, so I have the luxury of not needing much after school care, if we needed after school care I wouldn’t do any clubs in the week.

What's wrong with just playing out - you know, like kids used to do?

I don't think there's anything the matter with your approach, and tbh your time is limited so no point beating yourself up over other people and their acres of free time. And they, in turn, may be doing all these classes precisely because their kids aren't in after-school club... swings and roundabouts.

As a parent I want DD to do swimming and a class in DH's language, so we do that (she's 3.5 now). When she's a bit bigger I'd like her to at least try drama and martial arts - but it may be a few years, and it's all down to time/logistics/siblings etc. I'm not a fan of spending every waking moment out of the house doing one thing after another - I think a bit of boredom is a good thing.

We pulled all activities for DS1 in Reception for fear he would be too tired and massively regretted it when we then couldn’t get him back into swimming lessons. DS2 (now in Reception) therefore does swimming every week. Our childminder is happy to take them. DS1 (Y3) now does six activities in the summer...this was not deliberate but is the result of cricket and athletics being summer only whilst swimming, Cubs, dance and music are year round. Music he could have done at school but it was group (rather than individual) lessons. It’s probably one too many but he’s aghast at the suggestion that he drops any.

Its what suits you and your family.
Swimming for us is non negotiable other activities the dd can give a good try and then stop if they wish.
We also do alot as a family and afte school childcare however I found a club like football or rainbows was good for building their independence. It's good to have a balance between family activities and independent
Although I'm sure in a few years time you will be trying to squeeze a drink in with your own friends around dd's countless activities

My oldest DD started dancing in reception at her request and also swimming. That was more than enough for her (she was young in the year too which I think made a difference) as she went through activities changed. She did Rainbows/brownies which she enjoyed and picked up other dance lessons but dropped the swimming once we were happy with her standard. My younger DD age 4 does 2 dance lessons and swimming, the dance at her request as she wants to be like her sister. I never put pressure to do anything just what they ask and if they want to quit as long as they do all the lessons I've paid for they can! My DP works sat morns so we get up early and get the lessons done then so it doesnt eat into family time. I dont think it matters thou as long as they are happy sometimes it's just nice to have opportunities they dont get at school.

We had a similar working pattern and therefore DD only did swimming at that age.

When she was 6 she asked to go to the drama school her friend went to. Things like gymnastic followed and later riding and Brownies/Scouts.

But, DH’s working changed and I moved between 3 and 4 days over the years so there was more time.

We cancelled things, put things back on again, increased one.

I found it got a lot easier when start times got later in the day. No mad rush after school anymore.

She is now nearly 14 and stuck with some great hobbies.

I just let my dc do clubs if they want to. Dd does quite a few music clubs and younger ds does a couple of sporty clubs. Ds13 has never done any clubs but is now thinking about starting a club. As long as she's happy I would carry on as you are

Our 7yo has just started swimming lessons so he can learn proper strokes.

He’s not interested in anything else. We have the time for after school classes but every time he shows an interest in something he says he still doesn’t want to do an actual club.