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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help.... me.... about to assume to foetal position

53 replies

anxietyaunt · 23/05/2021 08:32

My husband is doing some work (of sorts) with some acquaintances of ours. Before I knew it, without knowing how it’s happened I have now been left to host their twin boys at our place. I already have a “spirited” boy of my own. These kids are next level. They tore the place apart within the first few minutes, have broken numerous toys, traumatised the dog.... I thought I’d be enjoying a relaxing late afternoon wine by now. Instead my will go live is shot to shit. AIBU to find a dark corner in which I can assume the foetal position? They’re now punching the flowers FFS...

OP posts:
Original poster
anxietyaunt · 23/05/2021 09:13

@Sillawithans

Crack on with the wine op, no one will judge you Grin
That I might @Sillawithans. I just might.
OP posts:
bloodyhell19 · 23/05/2021 09:13
  1. Get the other parent to collect their kids as this wasn't planned for you today

Or

  1. Roar at them. And I mean roar. Bad enough they're running riot, worse if the adult in charge is watching them do it...
Puntastic · 23/05/2021 09:15

Call them back, OP. You are not a nanny.

Original poster
anxietyaunt · 23/05/2021 09:16

I’m a bit surprised to find people commiserating with me. I was half expecting to cop the “you’re not being a very good host”.

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 23/05/2021 09:18

have you got a shed or garage you can lock them in?
Tie them to the lemon tree?

why are you unable to call the parents/dump them back on your partner - he can do the job another time.

ThatIsMyPotato · 23/05/2021 09:19

@Temp023

She has been asked to look after these children for a few hours/ day as a favour to her husband. She can cope, she doesn’t need to start demanding that they be removed because “they’re not her responsibility “ No wonder there are so many single parents on this bloody website!

OP, discipline is your friend here. Be absolutely firm about what is acceptable and what is not, I would build them a tent personally. It will soon be over!

It doesn't sound like she was asked
Original poster
anxietyaunt · 23/05/2021 09:22

Correct. There was no asking.

OP posts:
PerveenMistry · 23/05/2021 09:22

@SympathyFatigue

This shit drives me mad. Imagine going to your female friends house and telling the husband he's got your kids for the day while you and Suzy sod off and fix things. I bet it never happens.

I've had this happen where my husband and his pal went fishing. Kid left awake with me, refused to sleep, obviously confused as nobody told them what was happening, or me. I rang them and gave them a piece of my mind.
If I'm asked and it's planned it's not as bad but if people just sneakily use you as childcare it's pretty awful.
Ring them and get them to collect their kids.

Exactly.

What utter bullshit to expect you to play free nanny.

Where is the twins' mother in all this?

Call her or your husband and tell them they have half an hour to collect the kids.

PerveenMistry · 23/05/2021 09:24

@Temp023

She has been asked to look after these children for a few hours/ day as a favour to her husband. She can cope, she doesn’t need to start demanding that they be removed because “they’re not her responsibility “ No wonder there are so many single parents on this bloody website!

OP, discipline is your friend here. Be absolutely firm about what is acceptable and what is not, I would build them a tent personally. It will soon be over!

What the fuck?

Sorting childcare for strangers is not the OP's job.

LapinR0se · 23/05/2021 09:24

I would say very clearly “Wow, I won’t be doing that again!” and “they’re quite a handful aren’t they” as I handed them back (drop kicked them over the fence at their parents).
Never. Again.

Original poster
anxietyaunt · 23/05/2021 09:26

I just realised I made an error in the subject of this thread. Now I’m even angrier.

OP posts:
MrsTulipTattsyrup · 23/05/2021 09:27

Make a list of everything they’ve damaged, with the cost of a replacement. Add the cost of a visit to the vet, and a reasonable amount for childminding services. Present it to the parents as a bill when they collect.

3scape · 23/05/2021 09:32

'Tag you're it' seems to be a necessary phrase many days in parenting.

SympathyFatigue · 23/05/2021 09:44

This is why I present myself as wholly inadequate. That way nobody risks leaving their kids with me.
I'd have said oh no I can't look after them as I'm absolutely trollied/opening a beer.
Don't risk it.

So selfish. Dumping their kids at you.

Tell them to get them and take yours while they're at it.

Original poster
anxietyaunt · 23/05/2021 09:51

Whoever invented musical toys was one sadistic bastard.

OP posts:
Flibbitygibbit · 23/05/2021 10:06

Lots of “ no ! We don’t do that you little bastards I mean darlings “🤣

CPsRus · 23/05/2021 10:18

If anyone’s kids tried kicking my dog they would be in locked a dark room alone until their parents came home asap. And that’s the kindest of my possible reactions. I don’t have kids though, and now I am thankful for it.

Original poster
anxietyaunt · 23/05/2021 10:39

They’re gone. Finally. Not before they repeatedly pretended to fart on me, mocked and called me “silly mummy” and blew raspberries at me amid their trail of destruction.

Never again. Ever, ever again.

As she was picking them up the mum said to me: “Yes, I thought they would be too energetic for you. I didn’t think you could handle them!”

😶

OP posts:
thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 23/05/2021 10:46

It sounds a bit like the last time we looked after SIL’s children who were 3 and 5 at the time. SIL and BIL were staying in another city for the night and we had their children for 24 hours - they were like little wild animals! They broke ornaments, terrorised the cats, mixed the cats dry food with water, poured juice into various pieces of furniture, got into my DC’s room and trashed it, and were generally hyper and annoying. After that, any time we were asked to babysit I insisted that it took place in their own house! (And sent DH to do it while I relaxed at home with my lovely calm DC)

SympathyFatigue · 23/05/2021 10:50

@anxietyaunt

They’re gone. Finally. Not before they repeatedly pretended to fart on me, mocked and called me “silly mummy” and blew raspberries at me amid their trail of destruction.

Never again. Ever, ever again.

As she was picking them up the mum said to me: “Yes, I thought they would be too energetic for you. I didn’t think you could handle them!”

😶

Wow. Just say not energetic my dear, they're actually terribly behaved, your children are feral. Maybe teach them some manners.

Kicking dogs isn't normal.

SympathyFatigue · 23/05/2021 10:51

@thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear

It sounds a bit like the last time we looked after SIL’s children who were 3 and 5 at the time. SIL and BIL were staying in another city for the night and we had their children for 24 hours - they were like little wild animals! They broke ornaments, terrorised the cats, mixed the cats dry food with water, poured juice into various pieces of furniture, got into my DC’s room and trashed it, and were generally hyper and annoying. After that, any time we were asked to babysit I insisted that it took place in their own house! (And sent DH to do it while I relaxed at home with my lovely calm DC)
Hideous.
Crunchymum · 23/05/2021 11:04

If the mum actually said that, then you should have bloody well told her that her kids were not energetic but disrespectful, rude and violent.

Anyone who kicks my pet would have had no more opportunities to misbehave.

sherrystrull · 23/05/2021 11:09

@anxietyaunt

They’re gone. Finally. Not before they repeatedly pretended to fart on me, mocked and called me “silly mummy” and blew raspberries at me amid their trail of destruction.

Never again. Ever, ever again.

As she was picking them up the mum said to me: “Yes, I thought they would be too energetic for you. I didn’t think you could handle them!”

😶

Oh my goodness! How rude! What did you say in response?

How about 'thank you for looking after my children'

Greygreenblue · 23/05/2021 11:16

Yours is 4 too? 4 year olds times 3 are a force to be reckoned with (when my 4 year old twins had their 4 year old friend over I had to bail out the cat, who they are all normally individually great with). But these two sound a bit more than spirited. Mine can be trusted to go to other peoples houses and not destroy them/call adults names

2bazookas · 23/05/2021 11:24

Shout at them (Angry face, ) " Name and name, Sit down NOW and shut up".

When they are sitting and quiet, give them a very simple short instruction such as "pick up the lego and put it in this box".

Keep at it. The sheer novelty of clear instructions from a determined adult often works wonders on kids unused to any discipline. When they have put right some of the mess they made, take them outside and play with them; something energetic to run off some beans.

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