how are social workers allowed to talk to young children?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 22/05/2021 12:17

Cafcass officers are experienced social workers who report to the court children’s wishes and feelings along with the officer’s opinion about how their best interests are met.

Seesawmummadaw · 22/05/2021 12:21

That’s their job!
They need to find out the children’s views and work out what will work in the best interests of the children.

What do you think they should have done differently?

Brunilde · 22/05/2021 12:21

Why do you think they shouldn't ask those questions?

Russell19 · 22/05/2021 12:23

Surely thats the point of them being spoken to....to be direct and find out their views.

PotteringAlong · 22/05/2021 12:24

The responses from the boy and girl was fine so no worries there thank god

Actually, any response they gave would have been fine, because that’s what they thought. It’s not fine for them to have an opinion as long as it’s the opinion your friend wants them to have.

Original poster

LetterFromAnUnknownWoman · 22/05/2021 12:24

@TestingTestingWonTooFree yup I know that which is why I couldn't believe those questions being asked. I've heard that normally for such young children social workers get the children to draw pictures, play games and talk more generally and through the things they say infer the relationship they have with their parents. But to point blank ask the child "how often do you want to the see them" is just out of order in my view.

Just because someone is a "professional" doesn't give them immunity from scrutiny.

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IanHBuckells · 22/05/2021 12:27

I think they are OK questions. If someone asked my kids those questions they'd say the same about spending time with me (mum) as they would their dad which is why we have 50:50.

Brunilde · 22/05/2021 12:27

But 'infer' means someone has to make assumptions or guess what the kids want. Why do you think asking them directly and trusting in their answers is not acceptable?

TwoAndAnOnion · 22/05/2021 12:28

@LetterFromAnUnknownWoman

I'm helping a friend who's going through a messy divorce and somehow CAFCASS has been roped in. The case worker has spoken to the children (aged 6 & 7) and asked what I think are unbelieveably direct questions of "do you like spending time with your mum", "how often do you want to see mum", "when you see her how long would like to spend time with her". I saw it in the written CAFCASS report and was taken aback with the unashamably direct questioning of such young children. The responses from the boy and girl was fine so no worries there thank god, but I'm still shocked with the manner in which they were asked. I've had a look on the CAFCASS website under there CIAF policy framework (child impact assessment framework) but couldn't find what their own internal rules are with regards to talking to children. It's not easy to search and navigate so am hoping someone here knows? thanks!

So you weren't actually there to hear the question framed?

Original poster

LetterFromAnUnknownWoman · 22/05/2021 12:28

@Brunilde why shouldn't they be asked? Because (1) as the CAFCASS officer says so himself "they are too young to make an informed decision", and (2) because if for whatever reason they get their wish and it turns out to be not what they want, they could end up feeling guilt.

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TestingTestingWonTooFree · 22/05/2021 12:30

I have a 3 year old and a 7 year old. They would be capable of expressing their wishes in response to direct questions. Not all of their wishes would be in their best interests (I dare say they might be happy to have chocolate for breakfast and skip school for a theme park every Tuesday). I don’t know what your problem is with direct questions. If they didn’t answer, or gave inconsistent answers, then I’m sure the CAFCASS officer will have had other strategies.

Brunilde · 22/05/2021 12:31

No one is saying if a small child says they never want to see their mum again that is what is going to happen. But asking them direct questions and giving them to chance to openly express their opinions is important. Kids can say all sorts of things and take things the wrong way so asking clear questions that leave no room for misinterpretation is vital rather than wishy washy picture drawing that people have to guess what it means

Original poster

LetterFromAnUnknownWoman · 22/05/2021 12:31

@TwoAndAnOnion well yes, neither parent was there. The children were spoken to at school I think. No audio recording was taken. I see your point, but the answers given in inverted commas could only have been given to a direct question.

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Ellpellwood · 22/05/2021 12:32

I suppose my concern is whether they think it's just a nice chat as opposed to a line of questioning that could have consequences.

Original poster

LetterFromAnUnknownWoman · 22/05/2021 12:36

alrighty sounds like you think I am being unreasonable! The kids know about the breakup, it's upsetting to them, and feel torn between the parents. Such direct questions could harm them IMO. Although it does make things easier for the case worker and courts. From what I've seen before it just doesn't normally work like that...

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Undersnatch · 22/05/2021 12:40

Children are people too you know! And capable of expressing their views and feelings. Not of making a fully informed decision, but since the final decision is not only based on their wish, then there’s no pressure on them like you say.

Even the views of babies and young children can be gathered by direct (and indirect) methods. I think YAVU to think that a 6 and 7 year old cannot express a view on a direct question. Maybe it’s a misunderstanding and you think that the child’s opinion will override other considerations- that’s not the case, but it’s taken into account.

Undersnatch · 22/05/2021 12:41

It definitely normally works like that.

CleanQueen123 · 22/05/2021 12:45

I agree with @Brunilde. It's important to get the facts of the situation.

If the children had said that they didn't want to see mum then the worker could have explored why that was.

If it was because mum doesn't let them constantly eat sweets and play video games instead of going to school it would put a far different weighting on their answer than, if for example, they'd said they didn't want to see mum because she regularly beats them.

I'm not saying either of those scenarios is the case for your friend but it would influence the decision the court makes.

I've worked with children in a related role and often they appreciate being asked their opinion directly rather than beating around the bush.

notanothertakeaway · 22/05/2021 12:46

I think those questions are ok. Drawings are just one way of getting info, not the only way

Children have a right to express their views, but should be reassured that it's not their responsibility to determine residence / contact arrangements

ZoeMaye · 22/05/2021 12:47

At 6 or 7 their opinion can be used as an influencing factor in court, at 12 they can be asked those kinds of questions in court and they basically make the decision as to where they live. Whether you agree with it or not, The court process says they are not very young to be asked these questions

LadyWhistledownsQuill · 22/05/2021 12:49

Better to ask and get their opinions than pussyfoot with a set of crayons.

I certainly had firmopinions on the same topic at that age, but if you'd let me loose with some crayons I'd probably have drawn a picture of me and the dog.

UCOinanOCG · 22/05/2021 12:49

Use of an open questioning and non leading style is used by child protection SW when talking to children about abuse when there is a possibility it may end up in court. The sort of questioning you are taking about is completely different and is fine in this instance. Children sometimes find it hard to give answers if the questioner is skirting around and not asking direct questions.

titchy · 22/05/2021 12:52

If the kids are perfectly capable of articulating what they want why do you think using drawings and inferences would be better?

Those sorts of strategies are useful where kids have limited verbal ability or who clam up when asked what they like about going to dad's. But no need otherwise!

I think you're getting confused as to when alternatives to direct questions are used and assuming they're a better option in all cases. Clearly if the kids here said clearly they wanted to see both parents the questions were good ones to ask!

WhathappenstoDD · 22/05/2021 12:52

When I split with my ExH when my DD was 2 and a half we ended up in court, a Social Worker from SS was involved instead of cafcass (long story) and she asked similar questions of DD "When do you see daddy?" "Do you like seeing daddy?" "Do you like mummy picking you up from Nursery?" etc. it seemed intrusive to me, but it was explained that they had to assess the relationship between DD and her DF and also DD and me, we were both observed with her but it's easy to fake in front of a social worker.

Redruby2020 · 22/05/2021 12:54

I have heard that they do ask questions like this. I don't want to laugh as it's not funny of course, but my DS who is just over 3, says to all of those he has around him, he does not like them, does not want to see them, then later on can be hugging you and telling you he loves you. That would concern me as well, as we are going through mediation at the moment, that if it did ever go to court that my DS could be asked similar questions!