how are social workers allowed to talk to young children?

[LetterFromAnUnknownWoman]

I'm helping a friend who's going through a messy divorce and somehow CAFCASS has been roped in. The case worker has spoken to the children (aged 6 & 7) and asked what I think are unbelieveably direct questions of "do you like spending time with your mum", "how often do you want to see mum", "when you see her how long would like to spend time with her". I saw it in the written CAFCASS report and was taken aback with the unashamably direct questioning of such young children. The responses from the boy and girl was fine so no worries there thank god, but I'm still shocked with the manner in which they were asked. I've had a look on the CAFCASS website under there CIAF policy framework (child impact assessment framework) but couldn't find what their own internal rules are with regards to talking to children. It's not easy to search and navigate so am hoping someone here knows? thanks!

Direct question is better than a leading question with a child.

If they asked 'would you be happier spending more time with mummy?' they'd be leading the child towards answering the question positively, as they're already putting a 'happy' spin on the answer through the formulation of the question. Same if they said 'are you worried about spending lots of time with mummy'?

It's easy for a person in a 'helping' role to lead a subject, and they have to formulate questions in a very open way, often direct, although it can seem blunt, is the only way to get the actual answer, rather than the one that is being given because the e subject thinks it's what you want to hear.

Actually, any response they gave would have been fine, because that’s what they thought. It’s not fine for them to have an opinion as long as it’s the opinion your friend wants them to have.

I agree with this. I can't see why anyone would have a problem with this question unless they were afraid of what might come to the surface. I also can't see why anyone would want to infer answers from art etc unless the child wasn't willing or able to speak.

[quote LetterFromAnUnknownWoman]@Brunilde why shouldn't they be asked? Because (1) as the CAFCASS officer says so himself "they are too young to make an informed decision", and (2) because if for whatever reason they get their wish and it turns out to be not what they want, they could end up feeling guilt.[/quote]
As a DSL, I’ve been present in school when children have been interviewed by CAFCASS.
They ask these types of questions as one of many ways to try to determine if a child has been coached by a parent. They note body language, same answers given by siblings, language used that a child of a particular age may not ordinarily use. They are not counsellors or therapists, their job is to ascertain what a child may think / feel about a particular situation.
They are not asked to make an ‘informed decision’.

"Draw a picture of how often you'd like to see your mum"

[quote LetterFromAnUnknownWoman]@TwoAndAnOnion well yes, neither parent was there. The children were spoken to at school I think. No audio recording was taken. I see your point, but the answers given in inverted commas could only have been given to a direct question.[/quote]
somehow CAFCASS were roped in

Not "somehow". Their involvement is not some random surprise/accident. Your friend knows why they are involved.

You can't really help her until and unless she's willing to face her own reality and confide the truth to you.

[quote LetterFromAnUnknownWoman]@TwoAndAnOnion well yes, neither parent was there. The children were spoken to at school I think. No audio recording was taken. I see your point, but the answers given in inverted commas could only have been given to a direct question.[/quote]
School is a familiar safe environment, "neutral" in the sense it is not the home of either parent, and OF COURSE neither parent was or should be present during such questions. So from the childrens POV it was the best possible place for a SW to speak to them .

[quote LetterFromAnUnknownWoman]@Brunilde why shouldn't they be asked? Because (1) as the CAFCASS officer says so himself "they are too young to make an informed decision", and (2) because if for whatever reason they get their wish and it turns out to be not what they want, they could end up feeling guilt.[/quote]
Well, the decision won't be based entirely on what the kids choose, but of course their feelings will be taken into account. They're not chattel.

[quote LetterFromAnUnknownWoman]@TestingTestingWonTooFree yup I know that which is why I couldn't believe those questions being asked. I've heard that normally for such young children social workers get the children to draw pictures, play games and talk more generally and through the things they say infer the relationship they have with their parents. But to point blank ask the child "how often do you want to the see them" is just out of order in my view.

Just because someone is a "professional" doesn't give them immunity from scrutiny.[/quote]
If we 'inferred' from games and pictures we would be accused of adding whatever interpretation we wanted, correctly. How the hell would you as a parent accept a report that said 'child drew a picture of mummy and daddy and mummy had a frowny face so I infer child prefers to live with daddy'
Come on.

I think direct questions are fine and the first one you’ve mentioned seems ok but the other questions you’ve mentioned I would think a bit tricky for young children, who might not have a proper concept of time, to answer. But anyway, the point is to let the children express their views and have their voices heard by a neutral party, but it’s not the children who make the ultimate decision so the fact that they can’t make an informed decision is irrelevant as that’s not what they’re being asked to do.

[quote LetterFromAnUnknownWoman]@Brunilde why shouldn't they be asked? Because (1) as the CAFCASS officer says so himself "they are too young to make an informed decision", and (2) because if for whatever reason they get their wish and it turns out to be not what they want, they could end up feeling guilt.[/quote]
A) asking the child's wishes is not asking them to make a decision
B) there are many ways of eliciting a child's preference or wish without promising that they will be granted

Have you ever actually met a child?

@Redruby2020

I have heard that they do ask questions like this. I don't want to laugh as it's not funny of course, but my DS who is just over 3, says to all of those he has around him, he does not like them, does not want to see them, then later on can be hugging you and telling you he loves you. That would concern me as well, as we are going through mediation at the moment, that if it did ever go to court that my DS could be asked similar questions!

They should also observe children with parents in order to inform the quality of the relationship

OP you are making it seem like the SW sat the child down across the table and just fired questions at them in some sort of interrogation, which I very much doubt was the case.

The child will (and should) have been asked direct questions so as not to be leading/biasing the child's answers but it will have been done in a way where the questions were framed naturally within the conversation not a Q&A interview. The written report won't have included that context, just the questions and their answers because that is what is relevant.

My children could say absolutely anything. If I hadn't given them a treat that day they could announce they didn't want to see me much at all. I can imagine them not feeling able to say if they didn't want to see someone. It would never ever enter their heads that they could actually influence their environment with their answers. They speak what they feel in the moment and sometimes say utter nonsense. I don't think children should be put in this position.

@namechangingforthis19586

My children could say absolutely anything. If I hadn't given them a treat that day they could announce they didn't want to see me much at all. I can imagine them not feeling able to say if they didn't want to see someone. It would never ever enter their heads that they could actually influence their environment with their answers. They speak what they feel in the moment and sometimes say utter nonsense. I don't think children should be put in this position.

That's why social workers do more than just ask questions on one occasion.

Neither parent should be there. The child needs to be able to express their view and a parent in the room will influence what is said.

These social workers have many years of training and experience at having these conversations with children.

Its not about the child making a decision - its about getting their wishes. The court then makes the decision in the best interests of the child - taking into account the child's wishes, age and maturity,

Of course they need asked. Children don't get to decide by their opinion/perspective should be valid and an important part of the process.

They have to ask direct questions they can't interpret the child's feelings that isn't their job.

beeep

The same would be true of every interview!

They would also find multiple interviews so upsetting, some more than others.

You can't really help her until and unless she's willing to face her own reality and confide the truth to you.
In all likelihood there's no terrible truth to be confided, CAFCASS are almost always involved in cases where there's animosity between the parents, as a representative for the children's interests.

Such direct questioning is abusive. Poor kids.

Questions need to be blunt and direct to ensure they are leading the child somewhere and aren’t open to interpretation. No point asking a question in a gentle way if it means it isn’t understood and answered.

@Cactusesi

Such direct questioning is abusive. Poor kids.

No.

@Cactusesi

Such direct questioning is abusive. Poor kids.

Abusive?

Get real

I was between 6/7 years old when I was seeing a social worker. I was perfect capable of expressing that I didn't want to see my father again when asked directly. I was asked questions while also drawing pictures of things I liked, e.g. flowers and shit. I made that decision at that age and didn't see him again. This was almost 30 years ago.

I don't see your issue. What would you rather they were asked?

@Cactusesi

Such direct questioning is abusive. Poor kids.

Honestly, having gone through this myself and considering the real life physical and mental abuse and neglect children suffer at the hands of adults, I find your comment deeply offensive!