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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is wrong

46 replies

dazzlerdo · 21/05/2021 19:22

My sister has a 15 year old son, he's got a girlfriend the same age, they've been together about 6 months.
She thinks it's ok for him to stay round at her house in the same bed. Also her parents go camping most weekends, about 20 mins drive away from where they live. She also lets him stay over Friday to Sunday when the parents are away.

We've had a little argument about this, well disagreement. I've told her I don't think she should be letting this happen at 15 year old, she thinks it's fine and I need to "get a grip and chill out".

Just after other people's opinions. What do you think, am I right or is she?

OP posts:
HappyHappyHippocampus · 21/05/2021 19:23

I think it’s none of your business tbh.

TwoAndAnOnion · 21/05/2021 19:23

I don't think it's any of your business.

Whilst not ideal it's better than fumbling up a back alley. Safe space.

Yokey · 21/05/2021 19:26

Absolutely agree with PPs: none of your business. There's really nothing more to it. You're not best-placed to judge this one so let it go.

TopBlogger · 21/05/2021 19:27

I agree with you. She has discussed it with you so it doesnt matter "if it's none of your business" as others have said. Once someone tells you something then you have a right to an opinion.

But there is nothing you can do really is there?

BeachWaves2 · 21/05/2021 19:27

What they said

Smileyaxolotl1 · 21/05/2021 19:28

Yanbu at all. They are both underage, unfortunately lots of idiotic parents love being the cool person who is down with the kids. Like someone I knew who used to bring her daughter and whichever kid she was shagging tea in bed when they were 14. No surprise she was the first in the year to get pregnant.
Having said that there isn’t much you can do and if you comment your sister will most likely dig her heels in

Bluntness100 · 21/05/2021 19:29

Yup. It’s none of your business, it’s her decision and the girls parents decision.

ufucoffee · 21/05/2021 19:30

You can't do anything about it.

UhtredRagnarson · 21/05/2021 19:30

I’ve a 15yo. I wouldn’t allow it.

Tal45 · 21/05/2021 19:36

I certainly wouldn't let my 15 year old, but what can you do.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 21/05/2021 19:37

Not much you can do about it but I agree I’d never allow it either.

MysteriousMonkey · 21/05/2021 19:46

You can think what you like but it won't change her decision. One of my children has been staying with his girlfriend since her was 15 and a half and she was 16.i took the decision better that than them sneaking around. They are both now 17.

Mooda · 21/05/2021 19:54

My DS15 would jump at the chance of this, he and his 14yo gf are very intense (and sweet and well matched tbf) but no way is it going to happen. They're underage, it's too soon and it's my job to put those boundaries in place.

Having said that it's not your business. But objectively you are right, no question.

Rillington · 21/05/2021 19:56

It's none of your business. They would find a way to do it somewhere.

riotlady · 21/05/2021 20:04

None of your business and one of those parenting things that I think is just a judgement call, no wrong answer unless you go to either extreme

Bellringer · 21/05/2021 20:04

Why are her parents allowing this. Contraception? Put your children on a plate and watch them get messed up, they should be doing homework and hanging out with mates

Original poster
dazzlerdo · 21/05/2021 20:23

Yes I agree with you all, it is none of my business but when she's coming to me asking my opinion because she doesn't think it should happen and she's worried, then when I tell her my opinion I get told to chill out. Can't win!!

Yet she's the first to judge anyone and their kids.
Was just wanting to know from others if this is something they would agree to.

OP posts:
Sally872 · 21/05/2021 20:26

So if she is worried she doesn't think it is ok the does she? Massive drip feed. And still none of your business.

Enroljas · 21/05/2021 20:27

I wouldn’t allow DD’s BF to sleep over when she was 15. Plenty of her friends parents were ok with it for their DD’s though.

DD is now married with her own DC and can totally see why I didn’t allow her BF to sleep over at such a young age

Sally872 · 21/05/2021 20:28

I would agree to it if we're my 15 year old. Unless I thought one was using or taking advantage of the other I don't see a problem.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 21/05/2021 20:33

None of your business.

Original poster
dazzlerdo · 21/05/2021 20:33

All those saying they don't have a problem. Are you ok with underage sex then???

OP posts:
Original poster
dazzlerdo · 21/05/2021 20:35

All saying it's none of my business. When did I say it was?? Only asking for opinions on this.
Yes we had an argument about it because we didn't agree, it wasn't me not agreeing that caused the argument it was her telling me I need to chill out.
So I was asking for opinions if this is something people let there teens do

OP posts:
Original poster
dazzlerdo · 21/05/2021 20:37

@Enroljas

I wouldn’t allow DD’s BF to sleep over when she was 15. Plenty of her friends parents were ok with it for their DD’s though.

DD is now married with her own DC and can totally see why I didn’t allow her BF to sleep over at such a young age

Thank you. I totally agree. My mum never let my BF stay over at that age. No chance! I was allowed my BF to stay over when I was 18 but in separate rooms!
OP posts:
osbertthesyrianhamster · 21/05/2021 20:38

@dazzlerdo

All those saying they don't have a problem. Are you ok with underage sex then???
At 15? Yes. I was 15 myself. No law could have stopped me. I wanted to have it. He was also 15. People don't magically change the day they turn 16.

Wow, you come across as bristly and defensive, I'm surprised she still talks to you, you're so argumentative.

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