To think she wanted a argument?

[andreahh]

Today I arranged to meet a friend for lunch.
It was pretty overcast but mild.
She text saying "I look like a tramp today but I don't care"
I replied "don't be silly you always look lovely"

I wore a blazer,tee ,jeans and trainers so nothing fancy at all.

Walked up to her smiling and I didn't get a hello I got a
"God your dressed up a bit fancy aren't you,Jesus christ"

I didn't know what to say so just said "no not at all,just shoved my trainers on"

She replied "well I can be walking around like a tramp and still get attention,I don't need to dress up for it"

I didn't know what to say so just smiled and she then asked what I was smirking at

Basically the day was a bit of a non starter

What did I even do?

She was rude.Have you had a previous argument that in her head could be construed as still not settled?
If not,and her tone was sharp and brittle I'd either think she had problems she's bottling up or she is being a cow.without knowing either of you or the context in which the words were said it's impossible to give you a proper response.
I hope things improved.

You said you were not getting dressed up but you may have seemed dressed up by her standards. Take the compliment. She may have also thought that if you thought you looked like a tramp (while looking lovely to her), then you must think she looks worse than a tramp.

She sounds like a right bitch and not someone who I’d be bothered about losing a friendship with.

I'd have been at a loss what to say too. Was she very anxious? I've not socialised at all since seeing a friend in September time for a walk, and a handful of zoom calls. Could she be struggling to be out and about? Being tense makes me say even more off beat things than people expect from me because of autism.

She sounds hard work and envious. Is she usually like this, or perhaps having a bad time atm?

*not that I'm saying she is autistic! Just that if she's tense she might blurt out half thoughts or be talking about something she thinks you know about. Iyswim

She sounds delightful, I wouldn't bother with her again if it were me.

Blimey, who needs enemies with friends like that!

Anxiety? Feeling low about her looks/weight since lockdown? Or does she have form for making catty comments?

Sounds like she has issues with self confidence and by you saying ‘not at all, I just shoved trainers on’ might have made her think you don’t consider that you’ve made an effort, but she thinks you have compared to her so you must think she looks bad and so she was feeling a bit put out and defensive, if that makes sense?

I think she was appallingly rude. The bitchy comment about well I can be walking around like a tramp and still get attention,I don't need to dress up for it" was bad enough.

If I'd then smiled at her and she'd asked what I was smirking at she'd have got an absolute gob full from me about who the fuck did she think she was talking to and what was her problem!

I would be cutting the friendship. You're not her whipping boy.

I honestly wouldn't continue to be friends with someone like this. So much drama.in the space of a minute she -
Complained about what you were wearing
Boasted about getting 'attention'
Implied that's why you were dressed up I.e. called you attention seeking
Accused you of smirking

Nice people generally only comment on what someone is wearing to say 'nice shoes' or something. She sounds mean, petty and horribly insecure.

Sounds jealous.

Seems pretty obvious to me that she's not feeling great about herself and felt inferior to you in that regard. Of course that's her issue and not yours, but she didn't say anything that was putting you down, seems more like she just said stuff to try to build herself up a little/defend herself (not saying she needed to but obviously she felt the need to in her mind). I wouldn't be mad at her at all and definitely don't think she 'wanted an argument'. Its understandable that you're bothered by it souring your lunch and perhaps feel a bit bad that she was jealous/insecure and feel like that's not your problem, but if you care about her I'd just try to be considerate of her insecurity and let this particular incident go

There is absolutely no point in trying to figure out what she was on about. If she is never normally like this I'd chalk it up to a bad day and try again. If it's the 2nd time it's happened it certainly wouldn't happen a third. What are your boundaries?

Upon rereading I can see how the 'I get attention, don't need to dress up for it' comment could be delivered in a bit of a nasty way. But I still empathise with her obvious insecurity

She does not sound very nice or considerate of your feelings. I think I would give her the benefit of the doubt if this was the first time she's been like this but I would avoid her if it's happened before.

She sounds delightful!

I’m guessing something is up with her because if that was her normal behaviour, you wouldn’t be raising it on here or be surprised by it.

I would text her and ask what she meant by it. She was really rude.

I’m quite placid but I would have definitely asked what her problem is and then went home if she carried on.

Firstly,friends don't act love me that !

But did she actually look like a tramp? Enquiring minds need to know!

Doesn't sound like someone I'd want as a friend, unless of course she has problems which she hasn't told you about. If I were in your shoes, I'd have called her out on it, and asked what was eating her, as it seemed like she was angling for a row.

She's obviously not very secure in herself. I take any opportunity to 'dress up'- make up, nice jacket etc. Some of my friends dress up more than me, some less. None of us have ever said anything other than 'you look lovely'. She sounds like an arsehole and was looking the a fight.

Yeah she was being really nasty, wasnt she. She hadnt bothered with her appearance, saw you and thought you had made an effort, felt scruffy, and decided to bring you down too.