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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you throw toys and clothing away?

214 replies

painfullyshywhy · 20/05/2021 10:56

I give everything to the charity shop or ask around or try to sell online (but that is so time consuming I don't bother anymore unless the item is brand new with tags) and I just can't stand the thought of good stuff being chucked in the bin.

Now, my parents are serial thrower away-ers eyeroll and my younger sister actually threw away a massive bag of fairly trendy clothing including a cardigan that my mum thought I had borrowed and she had given me a real telling off for losing it. I never borrowed it dsis had nicked it and then thrown it away instead of giving it back to dmum who lives with her! she could have put it outside her bedroom door but instead she black bagged it ready for the tip!
My old lego sets were all dumped even though I asked if I could have them for my kids when my siblings were too old for them. The same with my old guitars which I tried to bring home but was stopped because dsis wanted to learn. dumped mere weeks later.
Why do they do this?
I just can't understand why someone would throw away good stuff especially when people have shown an interest in having it! especially your own child or grandchildren!

It makes me so mad!

Another relative asked if I wanted any clothes for ds and dd as they are having a sort through. I said yes ill come to pick the bags up on xxx day. got there and they had thrown them in the bin as bin day is Tuesday and you said you'd come on Wednesday.
just tell me! or don't tell me because now I know a big black bag of good clothes are rotting in landfill instead of being reused.

I see bin bags of good stuff and toys being thrown out on my street daily. (everyone uses a little green area as a dumping ground and the council collects every 4 weeks or so) and I just don't have the space to save it all!

The cost of some things, to throw it in the bin, sometimes not even used... it blows my mind! I don't know how people can do it.

I know I sound preachy but it just feels cruel. my family know how much it upsets me, and its like they revel in telling me what they've thrown away.
The kicker is that they have about 6 charity shops and a shelter to pass before they get to the dump. and I have said I will come and get whatever you're throwing away and take it to the charity shop or give to friends children who are the same age or have xxx interests.
I don't understand it. this is more of a rant but. I needed to get it off my chest before I ring my parents up and explode!

OP posts:
rainyskylight · 20/05/2021 10:59

The only clothes and toys that go in the bin in our house are ruined or broken. They get taken to the recycling centre and put in the proper skip. Everything else is charity shop, Facebook marketplace, or gumtree.

Original poster
painfullyshywhy · 20/05/2021 11:00

I'm also a charity shop buyer and the quality of things I buy second hand is better than what I would be able to afford brand new. So it works out better for me.

I only posted this because I was reminded by an old post on reddit or similar about a woman who cut up her old designer clothes before binning to make sure nobody else could use them.
and I've gotten myself really angry! Confused

OP posts:
Thatisnotwhatisaid · 20/05/2021 11:00

Anything broken beyond repair or just useless to someone else does get chucked but I try to recycle it if possible. Everything else is taken to a charity shop, sold, given away etc like you do.

My Mum is like yours and just chucks anything and everything away. She hates clutter so when I moved out she got rid of the majority of my things I’d forgotten to take with me. Twat.

Crosstrainer · 20/05/2021 11:02

I take your point - but my mother is the opposite and will not throw anything away. Ever. She’s constantly trying to palm off old stuff that should’ve been disposed of years ago. So I definitely think there’s a happy medium!

TeenMinusTests · 20/05/2021 11:04

Clothes: anything still in sellable condition goes to charity, anything else goes in rag bags to textile recycling.
Toys: anything sellable goes to charity, everything else is binned

BabyhereBabythere · 20/05/2021 11:04

I used to sort things and sell/giveaway or donate to the charity shop
Ended up being HUGE amounts of hassle so everything goes to the tip now

DisgruntledPelican · 20/05/2021 11:06

YANBU, I can’t bear throwing things away if there is use left in them. It’s bad enough when things are damaged, it still feels wasteful! I had an upholstered chair that had been very slightly damaged by cat scratches and wasn’t accepted by the charity shop who took the matching sofa. I searched everywhere for an organisation or person who would be able to upcycle or fix it, but there was nothing.

Luckily we have a few places near here that take damaged clothes/rags and pay about 50p per kg, so it’s a nice way to make a £ or two and recycle fabrics that are stained, torn or worn.

midgedude · 20/05/2021 11:07

I use things to destruction normally

Soubriquet · 20/05/2021 11:09

If it’s something that I know that people will get a use of, I’ll sell or donate it.

If it’s something that no one would be interested in I.e, broken, ripped, badly stained, it goes in the bin.

Charity shops aren’t a dumping ground. They don’t want bags and bags of useless clothes and toys that need to be binned

Lockheart · 20/05/2021 11:10

I only throw things away as a last resort or if they're not in condition for anyone else to use.

Most other things go to charity shops or to clothing / shoe recycling bins.

If you're ever stumped for where to send old blankets / pillows / duvets which are no longer fit to be sold or donated, try calling your local vets and animal shelters. Whenever I've called them up because I have a couple of old lumpy pillows they've practically taken my hand off!

Happycat1212 · 20/05/2021 11:10

I throw it in the bin, haven’t got time to take things to charity shops

CellyBee · 20/05/2021 11:13

Ugh that seems so wasteful!! I never throw anything out if it can still be useful somehow.

Ilovemaisie · 20/05/2021 11:13

Babyhere I am curious about what made it such a hassle? Put stuff (that is in good condition) in bag and take to charity shop. Put clothing that isn't fit for resale in bag and label it 'rags' and take to charity shop. Why is that a hassle? Genuine question.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 20/05/2021 11:14

I very rarely se anything, I bag it up and stick it online for anyone to collect for free. I will take to the charity shop if bo one claims. I throw away a lot of broken things and ruined clothes, but we got a skip recently and I binned loads of stuff because we needed a clear out, we didn't have time to take it round different charity shops and I couldn't have ut all lying around my house waiting to be taken away.

They probably do revel in telling you. You sound like you are quite preachy about it to be honest.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 20/05/2021 11:15

Put clothing that isn't fit for resale in bag and label it 'rags' and take to charity shop. Why is that a hassle? Genuine question.

Why would the charity shop want a bag of old clothes labelled rags? The whole point is they sell th on. I find that a bit insulting actually.

Ilovemaisie · 20/05/2021 11:17

Happycat how much time does it take to go to a charity shop? Do you go to regular shops? Or cafes/library/dentist/wherever? They are places usually found near charity shops? It takes a minute to drop stuff off.

Happycat1212 · 20/05/2021 11:18

No I don’t go to the shops at all, I get everything online and I don’t drive to cart around big toys or bags of clothes to charity shops.

BabyhereBabythere · 20/05/2021 11:18

@Ilovemaisie

Babyhere I am curious about what made it such a hassle? Put stuff (that is in good condition) in bag and take to charity shop. Put clothing that isn't fit for resale in bag and label it 'rags' and take to charity shop. Why is that a hassle? Genuine question.
Charity shop- they wanted me to wait whilst they inspected everything and would rummage through and want to hand back stuff )it was all good quality but if they had too many jumpers for example ) I wanted to drop and go they wanted me standing waiting while they picked best/needed things

-selling. Holding onto stuff and no shows/late shows. Hagglers and time wasters

-giving away- lots of issues as with selling. People wanting me to take numerous pictures of the item and then changing the day and time
One person once upon collecting a free scooter coming back 3 months later that it was broken and demanding I pay for a meeting one as it was ‘a birthday present’ and I’d let them down !!!!

ChocOrange1 · 20/05/2021 11:18

With clothing they could at least put them into one of those big clothing donation bins rather than just the normal household waste. That's just lazy to be honest.

I do think there is a big throwaway culture in this country (and probably elsewhere, I wouldn't know)

Ilovemaisie · 20/05/2021 11:19

Charity shops sell rags to the rag recycling people. They get money for the rags. It saves them time if rag items are pre sorted from good items because they don't have to spend hours sorting it. The bags go straight to the rag recycling.

BabyhereBabythere · 20/05/2021 11:19

New one (not meeting lol)

Soubriquet · 20/05/2021 11:19

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Put clothing that isn't fit for resale in bag and label it 'rags' and take to charity shop. Why is that a hassle? Genuine question.

Why would the charity shop want a bag of old clothes labelled rags? The whole point is they sell th on. I find that a bit insulting actually.

Depends on the charity shop

Some will donate bags of clothes to the rag man for money. Others don’t and will have to dispose of them

Check with the store if they want ragged clothes or not before donating them

HOkieCOkie · 20/05/2021 11:19

I try not to throw anything away if I can help it, charity shops can sell bags of rag for cash and I offer Thorne for free or a small fee in selling sight. Only things I’ve thrown lately are so baking trays which have gone all horrible.

Sparklybanana · 20/05/2021 11:20

Facebook marketplace. If it's good I'll try and sell it but otherwise I just offer it for really cheap or free and run the gauntlet of timewasters. I've gotten rid of a lot of the kids things this way and made back enough to pay for the kids clubs. I hate, hate, hate throwing away things, and even more so if they still have life in them. Someone will usually want them - even marked bibs and old muslins. IMO, it's definitely worth trying. We did take a bag of stained or torn textiles to the recylcing centre and I still feel guilty even though they should be recycled as opposed to dumped.

billy1966 · 20/05/2021 11:20

Your family sound awful OP, revelling in throwing away stuff that you asked to be given?
Who does that.

I agree with you.

I pass everything on.
My children were never hard on clothes and 95% was past on in perfect condition, usually through friends that would know of someone.

I passed perfect bikes, scooters and even a large ping pong table that mine were no long using.

I hate to think of things ending up in the dump.

Recycle, recycle all the way here.
I hope my children will follow our lead.

It is easier to dump I get that.
But is worth the effort to pass things on, particularly when they are good quality items, barely used.