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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you throw toys and clothing away?

214 replies

painfullyshywhy · 20/05/2021 10:56

I give everything to the charity shop or ask around or try to sell online (but that is so time consuming I don't bother anymore unless the item is brand new with tags) and I just can't stand the thought of good stuff being chucked in the bin.

Now, my parents are serial thrower away-ers eyeroll and my younger sister actually threw away a massive bag of fairly trendy clothing including a cardigan that my mum thought I had borrowed and she had given me a real telling off for losing it. I never borrowed it dsis had nicked it and then thrown it away instead of giving it back to dmum who lives with her! she could have put it outside her bedroom door but instead she black bagged it ready for the tip!
My old lego sets were all dumped even though I asked if I could have them for my kids when my siblings were too old for them. The same with my old guitars which I tried to bring home but was stopped because dsis wanted to learn. dumped mere weeks later.
Why do they do this?
I just can't understand why someone would throw away good stuff especially when people have shown an interest in having it! especially your own child or grandchildren!

It makes me so mad!

Another relative asked if I wanted any clothes for ds and dd as they are having a sort through. I said yes ill come to pick the bags up on xxx day. got there and they had thrown them in the bin as bin day is Tuesday and you said you'd come on Wednesday.
just tell me! or don't tell me because now I know a big black bag of good clothes are rotting in landfill instead of being reused.

I see bin bags of good stuff and toys being thrown out on my street daily. (everyone uses a little green area as a dumping ground and the council collects every 4 weeks or so) and I just don't have the space to save it all!

The cost of some things, to throw it in the bin, sometimes not even used... it blows my mind! I don't know how people can do it.

I know I sound preachy but it just feels cruel. my family know how much it upsets me, and its like they revel in telling me what they've thrown away.
The kicker is that they have about 6 charity shops and a shelter to pass before they get to the dump. and I have said I will come and get whatever you're throwing away and take it to the charity shop or give to friends children who are the same age or have xxx interests.
I don't understand it. this is more of a rant but. I needed to get it off my chest before I ring my parents up and explode!

OP posts:

BeastOfBODMAS · 20/05/2021 11:20

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion lots of charity shops receive clothes that are not sellable and have a regular rag collection where they receive £ by weight.
Labelling them as rags means a volunteer doesn’t need to sort through them first.

Ilovemaisie · 20/05/2021 11:21

Babyhere ok valid points. Although I have never had a charity shop inspect any donations I have dropped off. And I have been doing charity shop drop offs for over 25 years.

Miljea · 20/05/2021 11:22

My DB is very easy come, easy go, so it might have something to do with personality traits.

He, due to poor financial management, had to move out of his two bedroom house. He hired a skip, and into it he threw brand new, still wrapped items that he hadn't got round to opening. It was criminal!

But what pissed me off most was that, in that skip, were my old LPs that he'd taken from the family home years before, when I was abroad.

He knew they were mine, but because they were now surplus to his requirements, he threw them out.

I have a W ork acquaintance/ friend who had a chip on her shoulder about a not-wealthy childhood.

She'd buy her DD designer baby/ toddler wear, then make a point of telling us how she'd chucked them out when DD had outgrown them to prove she was now wealthy enough to have such a low regard for price and quality.

Finally, do I recall reading that Marie Kondo, after clearing up all of her own stuff, set to work on her sister's, without her permission?

Ilovemaisie · 20/05/2021 11:23

Happycat you must leave the house at some point though. You probably pass dozens of charity shops (or recycling bins) en route to any where you go.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 20/05/2021 11:23

Nope, never throw anything away unless it's ripped or broken or parts missing.

I try not to buy new clothes, books or toys as much as possible either. Clothes for my DC are hand-me-downs or bought second-hand unless I really like something I see. Toys and books are mostly second-hand from ebay and similar places (unless craft stuff, which we buy new) and they go to the charity shop when we've finished with them.

853ax · 20/05/2021 11:24

I pass clothes onto other or charity shops. If they bad condition give to recycling often clubs here have fundraiser where they get money for recycling old clothes.
Toys again to charity shops however I do throw out bad quality stuff ( kinder egg toys)
Can't believe they throw out Lego it a toy that can't be used over and over and never breaks
On the other side I try to be mindful of not buying too much stuff. Think reduce is the best thing we can do for environment

BabyhereBabythere · 20/05/2021 11:24

@Ilovemaisie

Babyhere ok valid points. Although I have never had a charity shop inspect any donations I have dropped off. And I have been doing charity shop drop offs for over 25 years.

We didn’t for a long time but they started before covid and then obviously with covid they were then shut anyway.

I dont really like to throw stuff away but it’s a case at the moment of get it sorted out and out of the house

BabyhereBabythere · 20/05/2021 11:25

I wonder if it was our area perhaps (London) and they often had people dumping stuff outside so probably got fed up of that and then checked everything

Happycat1212 · 20/05/2021 11:25

I don’t pass any no (except corner shops) , I only take my kids to school and back, if I want to go to the shops, I need to get a bus to them.

Ilovemaisie · 20/05/2021 11:25

OP you should figure out what the re sale value of your old Lego would be (Lego secondhand market is huge) and send the bill to your sister. Or say you are reporting her for theft. (Ok - extreme measures but might make her stop and think)

CeeceeBloomingdale · 20/05/2021 11:26

That’s awful, I only throw things away that are broken and unfixable. I try and pass on to friends or through Facebook pass it on sites. If that fails I send them to the charity shop. I hate the throw away mentality.

flashbac · 20/05/2021 11:27

Gosh. People who throw usable stuff away should be ashamed of themselves.
Don't you have any WhatsApp/facebook/freecycle groups for goodness sake?
Not only that but there are destitute people out there who could make better use of the stuff.

1990s · 20/05/2021 11:28

It would make me mad too!

Most of those things thrown in the dump will be in the ground for years and years.

I don't know how anyone can't feel bad about that.

Ilovemaisie · 20/05/2021 11:28

Happycat apologies if you have a genuine reason for not going out (illness, mental health etc) but do you really not go anywhere? You don't take your kids to the library or swimming or anything? (Non covid times obviously). Have you considered passing things on to other parents at the school? At my daughter's primary schools some things like baby slings got passed from person to person so much they were practically communal.

ChocOrange1 · 20/05/2021 11:29

Put clothing that isn't fit for resale in bag and label it 'rags' and take to charity shop
Charity shops don't want "rags". What are they going to do with this, they can't sell them can they.

SympathyFatigue · 20/05/2021 11:29

I put it all on market place and leave it in bags outside the front door so I never have to engage with the collectors.
I just take a photo. Say it's free but they need to collect the lot. Easier than charity shop as it's getting collected and I assume wanted.
Baby clothes etc.

Some people are cheeky buggers though and want it delivered to them (ha ok!!!)

flashbac · 20/05/2021 11:30

@Happycat1212

I throw it in the bin, haven’t got time to take things to charity shops

So you don't give a shit about the earth you live in?

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 20/05/2021 11:30

The only stuff I bin is broken (toys) or heavily stained/torn (clothes). Everything else goes to friends (clothes/toys the kids grow out of and books), the charity shop, the village nearly new sale or to a local charity that helps families in need.

My grandmother hated waste. Everything got recycled or reused in some fashion and I try do the same. Dd just tore her favourite dress near the hem so I'm go to turn it into a top and a hair band this evening. It's got peacocks on it and I think I can pinch one to patch my favourite ancient jeans as well.

ChocOrange1 · 20/05/2021 11:30

@Ilovemaisie

Don't do this, you will just look crazy.

You could look up resale values and say "next time you find some lego can you let me know and I'll have it to sell because the last lot was worth £X" but don't report her for theft. That's just silly.

1990s · 20/05/2021 11:33

@ChocOrange1

Put clothing that isn't fit for resale in bag and label it 'rags' and take to charity shop Charity shops don't want "rags". What are they going to do with this, they can't sell them can they.

This is completely wrong!

Charity shops make quite a bit of money out of selling rags by the kilo and it gets resued for stuffing things like car seats.

Happycat1212 · 20/05/2021 11:33

If charity shops can collect then they can have it, not everyone can get out to them. I am not friends with anyone at the school beyond a quick hello in passing (I rarely see any of the parents anyway as I pick my kids up at different times) I’ve put things on Facebook in the past but the people never show up so I don’t do that anymore.

Youdoyoutoday · 20/05/2021 11:33

I donate everything unless broken or stained except for underwear, that gets thrown away.

OrangeRug · 20/05/2021 11:35

It's lazy and irresponsible throw useable stuff away. It makes me so angry. Anything in good condition I give to charity or advertise for free usually on gumtree or Facebook. Stained clothes get used as cleaning rags. Old towels and bedding we use to cover floors whilst decorating or for the dogs. Scummy lazy twats where I live are always dumping near brand new things in the back lanes - trikes, prams, toys. Makes me rage.

Ilovemaisie · 20/05/2021 11:37

ChocOrange not crazy - but making a big obvious valid point. I was being tongue in cheek about reporting for theft. But it could stop the sister being so thoughtless about what she was doing. Both throwing away somebody else's property, destroying the earth and the fact that depending on what Lego it was she could have dumped what could be worth £100s.

1990s · 20/05/2021 11:38

@Youdoyoutoday

I donate everything unless broken or stained except for underwear, that gets thrown away.

I believe underwear can be included with the rags, clean of course!

There are a number of bra schemes, where if in good condition they are passed on, or the bits reused.

I've really made an effort with this recently and haven't found many things that need to be thrown away!

Another important one is electrical recycling, it's really important to find the special bin (on the street or at the tip) as the components in electricals are valuable or rare/precious metals.

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