To think children's centres should be open now

[Overthebow]

In my area none of the children's centres are open, so no baby and toddler play sessions or any in person activities at all. They are running a few online thins and emergency health visitor appointments but nothing else.

AIBU to think they should be open by now seeing as baby groups are allowed in the guidelines? Would I be unreasonable to contact them to ask what's going on and to see what can be done?

There’s definitely an attitude on MN that babies don’t need anything other than milk and a cuddle.

Developmentally however they do.

The government have been cutting funding for early years for years, especially universal services, and only funding things that can quantify results for targetting particular at risk groups. Unfortunately I think the Tories will take this opportunity to completely decimate universal services.

I run a church hall toddler group - we do want to get back but realistically we won't until social distancing requirements have ended.
It's not possible to have a socially distanced play group.

Now I come to think of it ours had their council funding pulled so is a private community supportes charity. I do wonder if the variation is down to whether the centre is community driven or council run.

Do babies really need play groups? Why not get together with other mums and babies and socialise in parks etc.?... You can obviously still get out and about with your baby, so try and meet up with people in the same situation as yourself, and stop being so selfish, expecting everyone else to facilitate your baby, who will not suffer from not “playing” with other babies

Ah, lovely empathetic post there. Where exactly are these ‘other mums and babies’ meant to find each other in the first place? As has been the case throughout the pandemic, Covid consistently trumps the needs of mothers and small children, especially the most vulnerable. And posters like this love to assert that toddler groups, children’s centres etc are ‘nice to have’ fripperies focused on tea and biscuits and superficial chat, rather than vital services that support struggling parents, help to identify issues and go some small way towards addressing the massive inequalities in our society.

DD is a preschooler now and an only, but many friends have have their 2nd during the pandemic and have found that there have been no weigh-ins, virtual postnatal check-ups focusing only on the baby, delayed vaccinations, no breastfeeding support, no casual baby groups... They’ve coped, just about, because they’re middle class professionals with resources and existing support networks, who to some extent can pay their way out of the problem. But so many others can’t, and I can’t imagine how vulnerable first time mums must be coping.

So many issues will be going unnoticed while these services remain closed, from feeding problems to domestic violence to parental mental health difficulties to speech and language delay. I suspect that only when this ‘Covid cohort’ starts school in 2022 onwards will we have some idea of the true extent of the problem. As a former teacher myself, I don’t envy the Early Years/KS1 teachers of the next few years.

Meanwhile middle class children like DD, with her private gym membership and her private music classes and her nice, educated, time and resource-rich parents, will thrive, and the gaps in society will continue to open ever wider.

OP YANBU; the children’s centres should have reopened as a priority, along with libraries and council leisure facilities (don’t even get me started on those!)

Excellent post temps

For some reason MN is very dismissive about the needs of tiny babies. I do not know why.

@lavenderandwisteria Yes, it’s been particularly shocking over the past year that so many posters on a site like this have virtually no grasp of basic child development, and little sympathy with parents (especially mothers’) struggles.

I can sort of vaguely understand the assertion you get on threads like these that babies don’t need to ‘play’ with other babies as such. It’s probably not a disaster if children under 1 aren’t mixing with loads of other babies (toddlers and preschoolers completely different story).

But facilitating baby play is far from the only thing these services are doing; they’re also invaluable in supporting mothers and identifying potential issues, and as I said above many of these will currently be flying under the radar. Also, even if feeding and secure parental attachment were the only things that small children did need, the conditions for achieving this are clearly sub-optimal if those parents are frazzled, exhausted, desperately isolated and suffering with poor MH.

There is a difference between socialising (with other children) and socialisation (learning normal day to day interactions) which gets missed here as well.

@lavenderandwisteria Absolutely, which is why I made a point of continuing to take DD to shops and markets and on public transport throughout lockdown (again, much to the horror of many posters on here!)

They should start opening again. There is such pent up demand, all I see is people asking for baby classes and groups, and everything is booked full.

YANBU OP. It’s very frustrating to see so many public services continuing to use this as an excuse to sit back and do nothing.

What will happen quite soon is council leaders looking at a spreadsheet and saying, "Ooh, look, demand for baby classes / Sure Start fell by 30% between 2020 and 2021 - cut cut cut!" - when actually even the few things that are running need to be booked x weeks in advance, using a particular app which is inevitably either Android or Apple but not both; or by phone on a phone line which isn't staffed adequately; or via a website which requires your council tax reference number from 1992 before it lets you add your name for Sing and Sign.

Honestly - I'm a well-rested, moderately wealthy mum of one neurotypical 3yo and I'm one of those irritating people whose mat leave was a veritable festival of lunch dates with NCT friends, baby art classes, mini Mozart, rhyme time etc etc. I could have a conversation with a shopping trolley. Even I'd be finding it difficult now.

They're open in my area now. I agree with PP who said new mothers are being let down in this regard. The support network is so important to many people at such an isolating time. YANBU

when actually even the few things that are running need to be booked x weeks in advance, using a particular app which is inevitably either Android or Apple but not both; or by phone on a phone line which isn't staffed adequately; or via a website which requires your council tax reference number from 1992 before it lets you add your name for Sing and Sign.

I feel like I want to stand up and applaud you for explaining so succinctly just how difficult it is to book onto some of the private baby groups which have now reopened. I joked to a friend the other day that I should have put DS's name down before he was born (despite the pandemic not being a thing).

I honestly hope they don't see it as an opportunity to make more cuts but ut wouldn't surprise me at all if that's what inevitably happened.

I just sincerely hope should the worst happen that charitable organisations will be able to help plug the gaps left behind before the educational gulf grows wider and parents or children fall through the cracks.

Round here (East Mids) the church hall mother and baby groups aren't restarting until September, it's only the commercial baby yoga / baby massage type sessions that are running, so you're fine if you can shell out £50 but not if you need the 50p a week social gathering type.

DD 2 year check was done at Christmas, over the phone, but I'm not aware that face to face sessions have resumed. They use the local library to hold f2f sessions though, so maybe they aren't giving HVs access to that space any more. Sessions with adults mixing, e.g. sports clubs, have only just got permission to re-open though, so maybe it's the adults, pregnant / breast feeding and therefore unvaccinated women etc. that have knobbled the risk assessments for such events.

@PegPeople I hope you find a few things for you and DS, it's awful and really angers me.

In any forward-thinking country you'd think someone in government would look at the clear risk to young kids and postpartum mums and immediately implement clear guidance for groups to re-open, government-backed insurance schemes, perhaps extra funding/grants for volunteer-run toddler and baby groups - I run a food bank and our "industry" is awash with funding at the mo, because covid has focused people's minds on food scarcity - outdoor groups that can meet on a weather-dependent basis, a national campaign about Five to Thrive and how to implement it under current restrictions, drop-in HV visits in accessible locations... with a bit of will it's not difficult to implement a few low-cost initiatives.

As an example, we've teamed up with a book-giving charity and deliver new children's books with our food parcels a few times a year. Not rocket science.

In this country at the moment it seems to be pay your own way or do without.

@Thatisnotwhatisaid

YANBU at all. The only groups running in my area are absolutely extortionate and I can’t afford them. I have a baby and toddler so am expected to pay double (would be the same for twins obviously) so I just can’t fork out for them. I really loved the sound of an art one in my local area so was put on the waiting list but when spaces became available, I saw the price and my heart just sank. They wanted £90 for 5 sessions. I have plenty of art supplies at home so I couldn’t justify it at all, I cried a bit afterwards because I’m so lonely.

The free groups I used to attend pre covid are no longer running so the ones at the library and children’s centre. I was new to the area when I was pregnant with my toddler so I don’t know anyone here and the loneliness is honestly crushing me.

This made me so sad - I really hope you find something for all of you soon, it is hard and unfair.

I was interested hear that my boroughs children centres are all closed but the next borough they’re all open found that odd as they have slightly higher amounts of cases

I agree, I work in a children's centre and we are only partially open, it's ridiculous.

YANBU, had my baby late February 2020 and have HD absolutely ZERO support with anything. She is my second baby so thankfully I didn't feel completely thrown into the deep end but I had post Natal depression and anxiety, plus the first lockdown in the early days.

I agree OP, it's too long now. I've also had no Health Visitor visits or any support from them except for a phone call when she was born last June. I've no idea if she's overweight (think she might be) but was told no help until the local centre opens and they still can't say when that is.

In our area, private/community venues (church halls etc) either aren't open, or have upped their cost/reduced the slots available so baby groups aren't cost effective at the moment.

The council owned buildings aren't opening for the group's due to a mixture of cost (covid bill for LA) staff being redeployed, or because the buildings don't meet covid risk assessments (eg internal rooms that don't have adequate ventilation can't be used)

It isn't possible to do outdoor sessions because the workers who do the job can't do be outdoors for their shift as they'd usually do multiple groups in a day.

It is awful for parents and I do hope it can change soon.