To think children's centres should be open now

[Overthebow]

In my area none of the children's centres are open, so no baby and toddler play sessions or any in person activities at all. They are running a few online thins and emergency health visitor appointments but nothing else.

AIBU to think they should be open by now seeing as baby groups are allowed in the guidelines? Would I be unreasonable to contact them to ask what's going on and to see what can be done?

Do babies really need play groups? Why not get together with other mums and babies and socialise in parks etc.?
People are still dying and having to self isolate due to Covid, so the usual volunteers and people who assist with baby groups are helping with marshalling vaccination centres and other similar areas.
Start your own play group?
The priority is still to keep people safe and free from having Covid, or spreading it to more vulnerable people in the community.
Babies will be fine, they are not aware they are missing out on playgroups, they need their care givers to interact with more than they need other people to facilitate this.
Maybe think about how this is affecting other, far more vulnerable people in the community, maybe volunteer yourself to see how how COVID is affecting people who are still having to completely self isolate.
You can obviously still get out and about with your baby, so try and meet up with people in the same situation as yourself, and stop being so selfish, expecting everyone else to facilitate your baby, who will not suffer from not “playing” with other babies.

What a lovely cheery post Greeneyedminx I strongly suspect you don't currently have a small child as otherwise you would be quite aware that we are all pretty acclimatised to using our local parks as play spaces.

We have been patient and we have prioratised others but that doesn't however mean we wouldn't like some of the groups to reopen now it's a viable option.

I would definitely enquire. Round here the children's centre staff have been available for support and advice enquiries pretty much the whole time. Online new born groups have been running for ages and bookable in person sessions for babies have been running for a month or so, with more sessions/older ages being added recently. All pre booked for numbers control.

I imagine it comes down to staff and volunteer availability in a particular area plus maybe venue issues.

@Greeneyedminx i don't think it's selfish to want a bit of support from the services that are supposed to provide that, or to want somewhere to take your baby to play with others. Babies absolutely do need to play and interact with others. There have been articles out about how young children have been affected developmentally by this.

Our area has low cases and no hospitalisations or deaths for weeks now. There is no reason why they can't open.

@Greeneyedminx

Do babies really need play groups? Why not get together with other mums and babies and socialise in parks etc.? People are still dying and having to self isolate due to Covid, so the usual volunteers and people who assist with baby groups are helping with marshalling vaccination centres and other similar areas. Start your own play group? The priority is still to keep people safe and free from having Covid, or spreading it to more vulnerable people in the community. Babies will be fine, they are not aware they are missing out on playgroups, they need their care givers to interact with more than they need other people to facilitate this. Maybe think about how this is affecting other, far more vulnerable people in the community, maybe volunteer yourself to see how how COVID is affecting people who are still having to completely self isolate. You can obviously still get out and about with your baby, so try and meet up with people in the same situation as yourself, and stop being so selfish, expecting everyone else to facilitate your baby, who will not suffer from not “playing” with other babies.

Where do you find these other mums though? I don't know anyone with a similar age baby to my DD (5mo). You know where you find them? Baby groups!

It's not selfish to expect a council to provide services for babies and young children - there's no children's centre activities, no health visitor check ups, no weigh clinics. I'm fine - I can pay for stuff, I've got family & friends but plenty of parents don't have money or support, and that's what the children's centres used to provide. We can't keep saying "people are dying" to excuse poor services.

I didn't realise children's centres were still going. They shut our local one a few years ago after the latest Tory cuts.

My dc are older now but pre covid we were going to a stay and play group after school for children with autism. We haven't heard anything about that opening again. Last time I asked they were hoping to be open in September.

Yanbu but they should also be “open” in more generally terms, ie not closed completely.

I remember the difference between my first in 2008 and second in 2014 was stark. I can only imagine how much worse it is now.

Ours are all reopening in September, with all services and groups expected to be available.

I didn't realise children's centres were still going. They shut our local one a few years ago after the latest Tory cuts

I genuinely believe ours is only still around because of the lottery money they receive. Most of the other ones outside our area ha e been closed for years but ours is fortunately still here.

It really is a necessity because so many people here cannot afford to pay for groups, don't have any support or wouldn't access the facilities if they had to pay.

I really hope your group starts back soon, it must be a real lifeline for those trying to support children with additional needs.

Do babies really need play groups? Why not get together with other mums and babies and socialise in parks etc.?
People are still dying and having to self isolate due to Covid,

I can’t believe anyone can say this with a straight face! Of course it’s needed - and it’s needed for the Mums - they are people too. Babies need their Mums to have somewhere to go for help and advice, and older ones need to see a range of people.

“People are having to self isolate” - so isolation is bad, but never mind if new mums are isolated!

That's a shame and I completely agree with you that they should be open. I'm in Lincolnshire and we've had wellbeing walks for a while now. They opened end of March for outside sessions and very limited tiny baby groups. They're now inside for up to 18 months but you have to book and spaces are limited.
They're still running virtual classes as well, which is great on a rainy day.
I hope you get somewhere with the council. It really does seem to be a bit hit and miss.
Oir breaststart groups haven't opened yet, which I'm disgusted about, and the health visiting team has been worse than useless.

Yes, they should absolutely be open now. What’s happening about baby weigh ins? Round my way the children’s centres (often just a room in a local school used on certain days each week) offered a weigh in service at a different place in the city every day. As far as I know they’re not happening now. So presumably some babies are failing to thrive and it’s not being picked up on. Same as milestone checks are still done over the phone. What’s the point in that? My little girl’s preschool check is next week. As it happens I have no concerns and she’s safe and well. But what if she wasn’t? What if she was covered in bruises and living in a hovel? An actual check on her would hopefully bring that to light. So how many kids are living with neglect or abuse, or needing extra help to support their development, but their parents are just saying ‘oh yes, everything’s fine’ and no one knows any different until it’s too late?

@elliejjtiny

I didn't realise children's centres were still going. They shut our local one a few years ago after the latest Tory cuts.

My dc are older now but pre covid we were going to a stay and play group after school for children with autism. We haven't heard anything about that opening again. Last time I asked they were hoping to be open in September.

Such a difference between areas. Ours have been expanding in recent years with new centres opening, there was a massive push for community facilities and lots of money been spent on it. Which is why I'm now so shocked that we've heard nothing from them during covid.

[quote Overthebow]@MsSquiz The thing is, a lot of the community halls that were used for these are still being used for private baby classes, so it is not a case of no appropriate space. Right now I'd happily accept being allocated a lot once a month even, or maybe they could put on outdoor play sessions and other events.[/quote]
@Overthebow so that's 1 aspect of it. What about the costs incurred? Private groups have increased their costs (in my experience), free classes cannot do this, but would be spending more.

Why not see if your local area has a face book group and ask if anyone fancies taking littles ones for a walk or to the park? Some mum's did this where I live when you could go for a walk with 1 other person and now are arranging play dates and meet ups

Yes the last year has been rubbish for those with babies and small children, but it's now down to us as parents to react positively and do what we can rather than complain about what we don't have access to

@Greeneyedminx

Do babies really need play groups? Why not get together with other mums and babies and socialise in parks etc.? People are still dying and having to self isolate due to Covid, so the usual volunteers and people who assist with baby groups are helping with marshalling vaccination centres and other similar areas. Start your own play group? The priority is still to keep people safe and free from having Covid, or spreading it to more vulnerable people in the community. Babies will be fine, they are not aware they are missing out on playgroups, they need their care givers to interact with more than they need other people to facilitate this. Maybe think about how this is affecting other, far more vulnerable people in the community, maybe volunteer yourself to see how how COVID is affecting people who are still having to completely self isolate. You can obviously still get out and about with your baby, so try and meet up with people in the same situation as yourself, and stop being so selfish, expecting everyone else to facilitate your baby, who will not suffer from not “playing” with other babies.

That’s very unkind. Pls do also consider that postnatal depression is serious and it’s not easy for every woman to find people to socialise with outside. Health visitors are more able to help if they can actually see and meet women/babies.

Today 08:08 saraclara

Development checks aren't happening even now. Which I find appalling. There are vulnerable babies and toddlers out there who may need interventions, and no-one seems to give a damn.“

They are where we are (in the NW).

I think babies do need things other than parks, yes.

[quote Overthebow]@saraclara Ours are still online. No idea how they can assess development over the phone, they just take your word for it that your baby can do something.[/quote]
They don't. I have personal knowledge of a baby who desperately needs to be seen. The last check was by phone, and if the HV had actually seen the child there's no way that intervention wouldn't be in the pipeline.

There's another OP this morning from someone really worried about a friend's baby's development, and no-one being aware.

It sounds very much like the priority for these buildings needs to be getting the routine checks and similar up and running face to face. The lack of them in much more concerning

I think everyone is being too generous. I feel let down by my local children’s centres. They should be supporting us through the most serious mental health and parenting crisis of our generation. Zoom sessions don’t cut it. I am confident your local ones could be running face to face sessions with reduced numbers.

This. Incredibly the private ones have reopened - because they are privately run businesses and have an incentive to adapt and get on with things. So that means thinking laterally about how/where to do things, so they do, and still manage to attract people and do it profitably and safely.

YANBU at all. The only groups running in my area are absolutely extortionate and I can’t afford them. I have a baby and toddler so am expected to pay double (would be the same for twins obviously) so I just can’t fork out for them. I really loved the sound of an art one in my local area so was put on the waiting list but when spaces became available, I saw the price and my heart just sank. They wanted £90 for 5 sessions. I have plenty of art supplies at home so I couldn’t justify it at all, I cried a bit afterwards because I’m so lonely.

The free groups I used to attend pre covid are no longer running so the ones at the library and children’s centre. I was new to the area when I was pregnant with my toddler so I don’t know anyone here and the loneliness is honestly crushing me.

Why not get together with other mums and babies and socialise in parks etc.?

Right. You know where you meet these other mums and babies, typically? Or is it now a matter of going up to women with prams in Sainsbury’s and saying “Hey, yours is about the same size as mine, fancy a coffee?”

Thatisnotwhatisaid oh lovely I'm so sorry to see you're having a crummy time. I really wish there was something I could do to make it even a little easier. Just know you're not alone and it's ok to be finding everything difficult.

Should also add that someone set up a free drop in session at a local park which is a lovely idea but I haven’t been able to go yet because it’s pissed it down every week since I found out about it. I don’t just mean a bit of drizzle either, I mean it’s belted it down and I don’t really want to sit in a park in the rain.

My HV is calling me today so I’m going to ask for some advice. I was totally crushed by the cost of the art class. I’m on the waiting list for a phonics group for the toddler which I’ll just have to take the baby along to as well but if it’s as expensive as that one, I can’t go.

It’s just such a shame because the free one at the library was fantastic, my toddler absolutely loved it and loved choosing books afterwards too. I miss it dreadfully.

Right. You know where you meet these other mums and babies, typically? Or is it now a matter of going up to women with prams in Sainsbury’s and saying “Hey, yours is about the same size as mine, fancy a coffee?”

This made me chuckle .

Thank you @PegPeople, it’s certainly been a crummy old year!