Baby name dilemma

[lockdownbabyx]

So.. there is a name that I have wanted for years and years for a baby girl. When my partner and I for together and we had a conversation about names, I mentioned this one that I loved. He actually loves it too but straight away said he couldn't have that name as his best friend has a step child with the same name. Anyway, it wasn't spoke of again until now, as I'm 17 weeks pregnant. My desire for this name has just intensified 😂.
I was speaking to my partners friends wife and she actually asked if I had any ideas for names yet. Laughing, I told her my dilemma but I said of course I wouldn't choose it now but I have always loved the name. She said she wouldn't mind if we still chose it, which was so nice of her. But now I'm wondering if she was just saying that to be nice? AIBU If I still had it? Would you in my position? Help please 😁

Use it.

How common is it?

Emma, yes.
Persephone, no.

Yes I think you can use it

Unless it's a completely made up name by them or really unusual eg place they conceived baby and it's "Garage" as a name I would use it if you like it that much

I think you could consider Balonz as an alternative.

of course I would use it, nobody owns a name. A friend of mine chose the same name as my DD and they are born just months apart - I have no issues with that, I think it's very cute.

I wouldn't use a family name (just to avoid the confusion at family gatherings). Never understood families where sons were named after dads, must cause confusion when the post arrives and you're being called by someone in the house 😁

The only other time I wouldn't use a name is if I only heard it/wanted to use it as a result of hearing it from someone I was close to who was planning to use it imminently. But as you liked the name before you found you knew someone who'd used it for their child I definitely wouldn't worry. It's not really any different to you naming your child something, making a new friend and then finding out one of their kids happens to share the same name 🤷

However it's you and your partner that need to agree. It doesn't really matter what MN thinks.

Your kid, your choice!

You don't need anyone's permission (although your DPs agreement is obviously necessary). If you love the name then don't hesitate, go for it! X

So his friends wife has a kid with the same name? What's the problem?

Use it, you’ve wanted it for years, it wouldn’t bother me even slightly.

Is it Balonz?

Use it. You’ll regret not using it much more than you’ll ever think about some friend’s step-child having the same name.

Our friends used the name that we had been planning to use for DS2. We asked them if they minded us using it too. They were fine with it and whenever our DSs meet up they love that they have the same name (it's unusual enough that there aren't too many around).

Use it. Especially if it's a reasonably common name. How likely is it that your DC and the friend's stepchild are going to be friends or even know each other in years to come?

And especially if the other kid's mum has said it's fine!

I’m imagining the step child is quite a bit older than your baby so they’re unlikely to grow up as best friends so I wouldn’t worry about using it.

My sister named her son a shortened version of a name I quite liked if I’d had a boy. Say, he’s called Dan and I liked Daniel. He’s over 20 years older than my child so I didn’t think it was really a problem if the cousins had very similar names as really they’d only be likely to mix at big family events. In the end I had a daughter anyway.

This is ridiculous, of course you should use the name. It's not even like they're family.

What earthly difference does it make if someone you know has a child with the same name?

It's not stealing anything from the other child. The chances are there will loads of other children with that name.

When I was in my last year at school, there were 18 girls in my class five of us all had the same name. Somehow, we all managed to cope.

As everyone else has said, unless it is something entirely "original" younique then of course you can use it.

Of course you should use the name. Your DH is being ridiculous.

If nobody ever used the same name then the endless lists of top 10/top 100/best boy names/best girl names wouldn't exisit.

Use it. Who cares!

It's totally fine to use it. Friend's stepdaughter having the same name is a pretty distant link! My DH vetoed so many names because he knew someone with a child of that name and it was infuriating. We seriously don't see those people ever now and I don't think I've even met their children! Not saying he won't see his best friend, but my point is, where do you draw the line? Especially if it's a common name.

Siblings all having the same name (which I have actually encountered once!) is odd. First cousins having the same name...hmmm less odd but I'd probably try to avoid. After that, it's fine.

Oh, add the caveat to my last post that all of that applies unless the name is super unusual. Like Athelstan or Ursula.

I don’t see a problem with using it but only if your partner agrees.

Whether or not he likes the name, if he says no, he says no. Names have to be a joint decision.