Baby name dilemma

[lockdownbabyx]

So.. there is a name that I have wanted for years and years for a baby girl. When my partner and I for together and we had a conversation about names, I mentioned this one that I loved. He actually loves it too but straight away said he couldn't have that name as his best friend has a step child with the same name. Anyway, it wasn't spoke of again until now, as I'm 17 weeks pregnant. My desire for this name has just intensified 😂.
I was speaking to my partners friends wife and she actually asked if I had any ideas for names yet. Laughing, I told her my dilemma but I said of course I wouldn't choose it now but I have always loved the name. She said she wouldn't mind if we still chose it, which was so nice of her. But now I'm wondering if she was just saying that to be nice? AIBU If I still had it? Would you in my position? Help please 😁

I called my son (now an adult) the same name as his cousin. They have different surnames, never have lived near each other are not the same age.
I never asked if anyone minded as I always loved the name and was always going to call my son that.
But then no one laid claim to names.
If you like a name use it as otherwise you will regret it.

As much as everyone says ‘Nobody owns a name’, I would find it odd if friends having babies close together used the same name. However, as another poster has pointed out, the friend’s stepdaughter is probably a few years older, so it’s not like they’ll be growing up together.

The main question is, is there another name you both like? If there isn’t anything you both like even nearly as much, I wouldn’t give up on the ‘dream’ name because of a friend’s older stepdaughter.

Is Balonz a name?

Still, anything is a name nowadays it seems.

I quite like Garage. Or 'Shed'? that's quite nice.

Here you go @KaptainKaveman

www.mumsnet.com/baby-name-generator/boy/balonz

Apparently popular with Mumsnetters!

And thanks for recommending shed...you flatter me

I think it's fine. I worried WAY more about these things with our first than with subsequent babies.

Growing up we knew loads of Peters for some reasons - children of various cousins, family friends etc. It really wasn't an issue. We tended to refer to them in sibling groups - Peter and Jane, Peter and Simon etc. A friend recently told me her DS would have had my daughter's name if he'd been a girl, and I just took it as a compliment.

my partner is a bit like this, it's not so much a problem with girls names but I am struggling with boy names but managed to get it down to about 5 that I like.

he rejected 4 of them on the basis that he knows someone who has a child called that. I have never personally met these people, couldnt tell you that last time he saw them and most of them do not even live in our area. the 5th name he doesnt like.

however, as ridiculous as it may seem, like a PP pointed out, you have to agree either way so if he is staying firm on the no then that's that really.

His best friends step child....really?! If it was a close relation then maybe not, but really this childs name bears no relation to your decisions and you should go with the name you want (unless said step child is a complete nightmare which can give you second thoughts lol!)

Thanks all! I feel much better about this now, I was probably over thinking it 😂. Spoke to my partner last night and we're both in agreement, we both want the name so we will have it. Yay!
The friends step daughter is 7 so I agree, it's not a big deal, plus they live 2 hours away so we don't see them often at all.

What about Pilchard. I've always fancied that for a name.

I think you should go for the original one though if your friend said it was fine - why not!?

This does sound a fuss about nothing- but I am left wondering what this name is, and why you are so passionately attached to it.

I don't see what difference it makes whether the name is unusual or not - either it's fine to use the name, or it isn't. It makes no difference whether it's Lucy or Armadillo.

Personally I think it's fine to use any name you want, no one owns a name, and even if the connection to the other child were closer it wouldn't be an issue.

Your DP best mates, step daughter….what. Why would he even consider that an issue.

While personally I'd still use it if it was unusual, (I have a DC with an unusual name and wouldn't care if someone else I knew used it - I'd probably take it as a compliment), I can see how it could be more sensitive. Some parents choose unusual names because they want to avoid their DC having the same name as another child in their acquaintance. People do take the hump sometimes. So, it isn't as straightforward a question as when it's a common name (I've got one of those too and again, couldn't care less if and when we meet children with that name or if a friend used the same name).

Use the name. I didn't use the name I had always wanted for a boy when I had my son. I am having my 3rd child now and due to complications it is likely to be my last. Baby is a little girl so I will never get to use the boy name I loved. I regret not using it for my son.

Even though it's his step daughter, he brought her up from a very young age so really he treats her like his own. So that's your answer to that.

I've stated it's not an unusual name. I'm purposely not saying the name as this app is full of trolls and to be honest, I can't be arsed with the negativity 😂.

Also to clarify, even though my DP initially said no to the name for this reason. Since I got pregnant he's said we can have it and he's not fussed. The issue was more with me, as I have a huge family and most of the names DP has suggested I've said no because they are already in my family (who I see a lot). To be honest I felt bad for saying no for that reason, yet I still want this name regardless of the friends step daughter.

But anyway, we've spoken and agreed we're going to have this name regardless. So thank you all for the helpful responses 😃 x

If you love it, do it!
My cousin and my uncle (not his dad, also his uncle) have the same name and we are all very close. Its never a massive deal, at all.
I wanted to call DS1 'Jonah' but MIL stepped in as SIL's SIL (?!) named her son the same name. We've met him ONCE! She didn't want her granddaughter having two cousins with with same name...
DS definitely suits his name but I didn't like the dictating. We don't even see SIL, let alone SILs SIL!

Good outcome OP