One night stands/casual sex

[Chickenchowmein21]

Me and a girl in the office are having a discussion about one night stands/casual sex.
She has been in a relationship for many years and has no children. Myself on the other hand have just getting out of a long term relationship and have children.
We got into the conversation of dating and casual sex etc and I said I had been tied down for so many years that if the kids were at their dads then it would be nice to meet someone to have round to just “have a bit fun”. She looked at me in total disgust and said I was being very disrespectful to my kids/their dad by entertaining men in my home.
Now I’m not gonna jump on someone every weekend.. and probably won’t for a long time! But surely my kids shouldn’t come into this? Just looking on peoples thoughts!

Your sex life has nothing to do with your work colleagues. I'm surprised you discuss it.

My mum was utterly horrified when I said I'd taken a date home after my divorce. She told me I might as well have gone to a hotel then presented my ex with the bill . So it's certainly a 'thing' in terms of attitude. I'm not sure why it gets to remain some sacrosanct family environment when your ex has signed away his share! Certainly I actually found it quite liberating to have lots of sex without my ex in lots of the rooms. Like a bit of smudging to clear those bad vibes if the kids are out and you're confident they're perfectly sensible I say go for it.

She's being a judgmental arse! Ignore!

As long as you choose someone carefully (because they would know your address afterwards) then there's absolutely nothing wrong with having some fun!

Took me a few years after my split to feel ready for sex again but once I was I "entertained" on occasion with certain safety parameters in place. Dd was none the wiser, never happened when she was about to the point around 7 years after split she said to me I ought to start dating! Bless her, she'd no clue.

Fwiw before splitting from ex I wasn't a casual sex person at all, my own issues. Now I'm anti relationship! (For me, not anti others relationships) I've had a few fwb arrangements which suited me very well.

Each to their own but nobody has the right to judge other single people who aren't doing any harm to anyone - all consensual, safe, no cheating anywhere involved.

@notanothertakeaway

I'm not a fan of casual sex. I think I agree with your colleague

Why do you need to be a fan for it, for OP to proceed with her life choices?

You'd be surprised. Overhearing some of the ladies in the canteen where I work, they do plenty of discussion of their sex lives - some of it quite graphic!

I get this too, people are so nosey at work when they know you're single so they ask about your love life and think you've turned into some sexual feral woman, just telling a colleague at work that I'm talking to more than one man, just talking! and I'm a whore in her words. Best say nothing even if you are having a better time than them!

@castemary what's disgusting about it exactly?
Maybe not the way you would choose to live your life ,but some of us dont live like nuns.

You do not have to live like a nun just because you do not think it is right to have sex with a total stranger.

What! I am not allowed to say that one night stands are wrong? I did not use misogynistic language or call anyone names.

Your impending,and maybe sex life, has nothing to do with your friend, and her views.But because you have now discussed some things as such, you need to be more discreet, when you go and have some fun now.

@castemary

You do not have to live like a nun just because you do not think it is right to have sex with a total stranger.

What has morality got to do with it? Sex is a moral neutral, assuming it's consensual.

I totally disagree but am going to leave you to it.
I am still shocked to be deleted for being against sex with a total stranger.

What has morality got to do with it? Sex is a moral neutral, assuming it's consensual.

And assuming both parties are free, or at least that their partners know they're not in an exclusive relationship.

Ah I spent years having casual sex 😂 ( safe I should add ) go ahead have fun !

Most casual encounters are probably not a total stranger, unless it's through a glory hole

Fill your boots OP. Have fun
She sounds a bit repressed, may not be a good idea to chat about sex with her. She sounds Victorian in her outlook

I was widowed didn't want another relationship so got a circle of fuckbuddies together. I found that better than having ONS. I was in my 30's, two were 25. I had a great time. When you start to examine people's attitude to sex and relationships, they don't make sense and are forming opinions based on social conditioning and sexism. Do what fits in with your circumstances.

YY @Ponoka7, totally agree.

@seensome

I get this too, people are so nosey at work when they know you're single so they ask about your love life and think you've turned into some sexual feral woman, just telling a colleague at work that I'm talking to more than one man, just talking! and I'm a whore in her words. Best say nothing even if you are having a better time than them!

Some women LOVE to find a stick to beat another woman with. It's a sport to them. You even see it on this site.

She’s a loon / religious manic / repressed / judgemental / unhappy / bossyboots

Delete as appropriate and ignore (other than taking the piss )

I think you have made the correct decision not to discuss the matter at work in future.

I love some of these responses, I feel so much better! 🤣

Also, I wasn’t actively discussing my sex life. Or lack of. She asked if I was looking to start a new relationship. Our conversation was very PG compared to some of the stuff I hear!

I love casual sex but would have concerns about safety so, like a pp, I have a few gentlemen friends and that works very well.

Your colleague is being a judgemental cow, take no notice